CBParent

To hear our student tell it, everyone around him/her (yes, I'm being cagey) is high, about to get high, or coming down from being high on marijuana. I know pot is smoked on college campuses across the country, but is it THAT much more prevalent at Oberlin? Or did he/she just happen to get assigned to the Dope Dorm?

SwatGrad

what dorm?

quibbler

That certainly wasn't my experience. While some of my friends smoke weed from time to time, it's not their goal or focus in life.

As you said, it's not unique to Oberlin. One difference? Obies seem less secretive about it. We also don't have a drinking culture, so there's not that outlet on campus.

My thoughts? Your child's dormmates are insecure, haven't found their place yet and are still getting used to being away from home. Ze should move, aim for a new group of peers. The wide majority of Obies have a whole lot more in their life. Clubs are open to all and are a great way to make new friends.

estargrl88

There is probably more pot smoked here than at other places, but it's also just out in the open more than usual. However, there are a lot of people who don't smoke as well. If your child happens to be in a freshman dorm I'm guessing it will be more prevalent.

Plainsman

My D is a freshman and has not witnessed any pot smoking or drinking, which is good because she does not indulge in either activity. In fact, I'm in Oberlin right now (taking advantage of Yom Kippur). Fortunately, my D hasn't seen any of that stuff, and she does not live in substance free housing. She always tries to associate with kids who have similar values.

quaere

It is definitely present at Oberlin, and easy to find if you want it... but it's also easy to avoid if you're not interested. Since I got here I've lived in Harkness, which definitely has a rep for being Oberlin's "Dope Dorm" (we like to argue about whether it's deserved or not). Even given that, I don't feel like there's a really prominent, in-your-face drug culture, and I've had no problems finding a large group of friends who rarely or never get high. And there are so many other things to do - contra dances*, Film Society screenings, open viewing at the observatory, shows and readings (and zines and board games and enormous cookies!) at the Cat in the Cream...

Pot does seems to be a bigger problem in the first-year dorms, especially at the beginning of the year: you've got a ton of students who are new to being away from home, and have more access to this stuff than they ever have before. (At least in mixed-class dorms, there are wise older students there who can show them how to use responsibly.) Eventually it will become less of a big deal: the novelty will wear off, and they'll realize that they actually have homework to do (midterms are in two weeks, so the backlog will start to catch up to them soon Whether this is your kid's situation or not, joining a few clubs, talking to the cool people from their classes, and getting close to some people from outside their dorm (especially older students) would be a good move.


* Contra dances are seriously the best things ever. They're mad awesome fun, the music is great, you meet about half a million people, and you can tell your next date that you know how to do-si-do... what's not to like?

bananafish9

To be honest, it's everywhere (as a freshman in a freshman dorm.) But it's hardly unique to Oberlin, and it's better (if you're a parent/not into drugs/for the generally goodness of the world, of course) than the blow everywhere that my best friends at Wesleyan and Yale report.

Edit: but I just reread the first post, and it's far from EVERYONE being high. It's generally just that the people who like to be seen are the high ones.

dottified

I agree with bananafish. It is everywhere, and people are very open about it, especially on Friday afternoons...

However, there is no pressure to partake in it, and honestly, I think there are probably more people who don't do it than people who do. But like bananafish said, you tend to see more of the high people.

susgeek

A year ago my younger daughter went on a weekend trip to Oberlin - planned by the school - a bunch of kids flew out of LGA.

She stayed in a dorm with some Freshman students, who told her that "everyone smokes weed... except those lesbians." (I didn't say it, I am just quoting it!). D decided after the trip that perhaps she wouldn't fit in there.

quinoa423

I'm a first year who is not staying in a first-year-experience dorm.

I'm sure pot smoking happens-- but in the two months that I've been here I haven't seen any.

I think it's another one of those- if you want it, it's definitely here but if not, there are plenty of other things to do.

monydad

Interestingly enough, D1 was turned off from Pomona when she visited and they put her up in the "weed dorm", and she concluded that they were a little too socially sophisticated, or something, for her. so she wound up going to... Oberlin!

Maybe it's because of when I went to college myself, but frankly the notion that college students may smoke pot, or engage in under-21 drinking, during their let-loose time does not shock or alarm me. To me, it seems like sort of a socialization rite of passage. I would be alarmed if they did not take their academics seriously, but not about this stuff.

Probably these things happen to more excess in freshman dorms, everywhere, right after kids realize they are free for the first time, but before they realize they have all this work they have to do.

Plainsman

"A year ago my younger daughter went on a weekend trip to Oberlin - planned by the school - a bunch of kids flew out of LGA.

She stayed in a dorm with some Freshman students, who told her that "everyone smokes weed... except those lesbians." (I didn't say it, I am just quoting it!). D decided after the trip that perhaps she wouldn't fit in there. " -Susgeek


It's too bad your daughter listened to those idiots. Like quinoa posted, my D has also been there for a half semester now and hasn't seen or smelled weed one. And, yes, she's in a Freshman dorm. My D and I are very close. We have the kind of relationship that she would tell me and my wife if kids were using. She's told us everything else. Weed is tame, frankly, but she hasn't seen any of it. Perhaps other kids have gotten the message that she's not into it. I don't know.

One of the things that burns my craw is when I hear someone say "everyone's doing it." Everyone is NOT doing it. In fact, I doubt that most students are doing it. Whoever said that to your kid is running with a circle of pals who are all doing it, so they wrongly assume everyone else is too.

studiomom

While on the subject of smoking, how about cigarettes? My daughter reports that 60% of her coop smokes and that tobacco is overwhelming at the college. When non-smokers recently asked her coop to take a vote about not smoking on the porch -- so that the non smokers could enjoy sharing the space -- the smokers prevailed. Such hypocrisy for a school community that prides itself on the environment, local foods, health, fighting "big corporations". Smoking continues to be on the rise with young people. Sad.

iAries

The thing about smoking is that it's super-visable, which makes the estimates on the number of smokers incredibly inflated. They're easy to find. You can't smoke inside, so you have to be outside. I've heard that a fifth of Oberlin smokes occasionally, though I doubt that figure.

Nearly all of my friends don't smoke, but I have a few who do. Regular smokers are a small, but very visable, minority.

While I'm not a smoker, and I know the risks associated with smoking, I still don't want to look a smoker in the eye and tell them what to do. They know it's cancerous. They know it's annoying. But an addiction is an addiction.

If I were one of the folks voting in your daughter's co-op, I probably wouldn't tell the smokers to get off the porch and smoke in the rain/snow/cold. In a co-op, you don't just vote on your absolute values (smoking is wrong)-- other factors come up. Your daughter lives, cooks and eats with these folks. It might be a bit awkward to tell them that they should sequester themselves away from the building, and make their lives difficult. It's a more personal issue.

studiomom

All valid points. I appreciate your take on what is obviously a charged and sensitive issue. The 60% is not inflated by the way -- they took a count. I have to disagree with some of your points as unfortunately smoking is not a "personal issue" when other people share your air and are so adversely affected by second hand smoke.