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Advice: My Friend Ignored Son's Graduation Announcement

IBWarriorIBWarrior Posts: 98Registered User Junior Member
edited May 2011 in Parent Cafe
One of my childhood friends has not responded to my son's graduation announcement. We sent the announcement two weeks before graduation and no card or gift was sent. Her son graduated about 10 years ago and I gave him a refrig for his dorm room and wrote in a nice card. I also talk to this friend freguently as she lives in my neighborhood. I also have been giving her high school daughter advice on getting into college, spending many hours at their house and going over resume building and other ways for daughter to find a hook for college. Recently this friend asked for a donation for a fundraiser that she is involved with and I graciously provided a $100 gift basket for her cause. I finally asked today if she received a graduation announcement from my son and her reply was "Yes, thanks for thinking of us" "How was the graduation?" I am very sad and upset that after being friends for 45 years that this was her response! Should I confront her and let her know my feelings? Or should I just let it go?
Post edited by IBWarrior on

Replies to: Advice: My Friend Ignored Son's Graduation Announcement

  • ShrinkrapShrinkrap Posts: 11,787Registered User Senior Member
    What did you WANT her response to be?
  • GA2012MOMGA2012MOM Posts: 5,440Registered User Senior Member
    I find it odd when people think "I gave you something, you should give me something back." That being said,, a card with a personal note would have been appropriate in this situation.
  • ShrinkrapShrinkrap Posts: 11,787Registered User Senior Member
    Wow! I sent out a bunch of announcements just to keep in touch. I didn't intend to obligate anybody to DO anything.
  • LasMaLasMa Posts: 10,484Registered User Senior Member
    Let it go.
  • GA2012MOMGA2012MOM Posts: 5,440Registered User Senior Member
    Shrinkrap, were you responding to my post???? If so, please read it again. I simply meant a gift is not necessary, but a note should be.
  • ShrinkrapShrinkrap Posts: 11,787Registered User Senior Member
    I took it to mean people might feel like they have to send me a note; no?
  • IBWarriorIBWarrior Posts: 98Registered User Junior Member
    Wow! I am surprised by the responses. Maybe I am old school, but I always send at least a card of congratulations when I receive any graduation announcement. I find it very BOLD of my friend to be able to keep asking of me but never giving in return.
  • GA2012MOMGA2012MOM Posts: 5,440Registered User Senior Member
    I do think that in the OP's situation, that a note should have been sent. They were long time friends, not casual aquaintances.
  • ShrinkrapShrinkrap Posts: 11,787Registered User Senior Member
    Okay. 10 char.
  • letsgoeatletsgoeat Posts: 148Registered User Junior Member
    I'm old school too. Haha. You could mention your gift to her. Maybe a..did your son enjoy my gift? I was wondering if I should get my child the same thing (or something like that)
  • texaspgtexaspg Posts: 16,204Super Moderator Senior Member
    Sounds like a oneway friendship. Giving a donation to a charity should nt be counted but if you gave her son a refrigerator for college and she has nt acknowledged your kids graduation announcement, may be it is time to be equally ignorant of her existence?
  • teriwttteriwtt Posts: 11,997Super Moderator Senior Member
    You're just talking about within the last couple of weeks that your son graduated?

    I would not give it even a second thought unless nothing has happened by the end of the summer. Perhaps she ordered something and it hasn't come yet; maybe she's getting something personalized.

    I remember four summers ago being invited to a graduation party for the son of a family we're very close with. The day before the event we had a tragedy in the family; then we had to travel to D2's college orientation; then D2 and I were in a car wreck on our way back to the airport after orientation. I think I managed to get a gift to this kid by August.

    Regardless of what happens, a congratulations card would have been nice.
  • IBWarriorIBWarrior Posts: 98Registered User Junior Member
    There's been no tragedy. She lives down the street. She just texted me yesterday to ask how graduation was. I am really appreciating all of your inputs. Thanks!
  • GA2012MOMGA2012MOM Posts: 5,440Registered User Senior Member
    Expecting a this for that gift could put a person in an awkward situation. Maybe their financial situation doesn't allow anything? I am low income, and my daughter has been very fortunate to have family friends that have taken her on trips and other excursions that amount to MANY thousands of dollars. They knew I could not reciprocate, but my daughter always sent a thank you, and a small gift if possible. I don't think a gift is truly a gift if it has the expectation of a return. JMO
  • busdriver11busdriver11 Posts: 11,874Registered User Senior Member
    Is it a requirement nowadays to send a gift for graduation? And if you don't, you're on the bad girl list forever? Jeez, there were a couple of years where so many people in our family were having babies, getting married, graduating, etc, etc, a notice every week. Yes, they are all important, but people are busy, life goes on....and so what. It would be nice if she sent a card (expecting money or a gift is greedy, you don't really know someone's financial situation, and it doesn't matter what you sent them, true friends don't keep score from ten years ago). I can't imagine holding a grudge on such a close friend for something like this. Life is short. She or you could be dead tomorrow. You don't really know exactly what is happening in everyone's life, this is trivial. Let it go.
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