soccergurl7988

I'm looking for a bit of advice from parents that aren't my dad (not that he's not awesome). I graduated this spring with my M.S. after a 5 year collegiate career, and am now at the point of a big kid job. It's been a rather rollercoaster ride, but I accepted an offer at a company in the DC area and, when the paperwork clears in 14-60 days, will be relocating. I've had multiple offers, and am in fact still getting requests for interviews, but am taking what I think is the best starting career for me. It's not my first choice job nor really in my field, but I think they provide a good foundation for new hires and have great job security.

Everyone congratulates me and asks if I'm excited...but the truth is, I'm really not. Is this normal? I constantly just feel overwhelmed and like I want to cry (and often do). I have the support of my dad and a great boyfriend (who will be moving to be with me after he graduates in May), and my dad just tells me to be patient and take things one step at a time, but I feel incredibly overwhelmed. I'm normally a pretty stable person, albeit pretty impatient. I'm trying to figure out things on my own in terms of a real life budget, new car insurance, where to live, how to switch my license and plates, switching banks, health insurance plans, you name it, haha, and am asking my dad's help when I have no clue what I'm doing. I spent a summer interning in the DC area, but outside of that, I'm a midwest girl through and through. Once I finally do relocate, I plan on spending a least 1-2 nights a week doing something social (happy hour, joining an adult soccer team, etc.), as well as balancing my now long-distance boyfriend to keep busy.

Did any of you have kids who struggled a bit emotionally with a big move cross country? What advice did you give them and how long did it take them to adjust?

VeryHappy

I'm sure lots of folks will chime in with lots of advice, but this is my perspective.

You're anxious, about all the changes, all the things you'll have to deal with. But you're also feeling let down and depressed. All the what-ifs, all the looking-forward-to's, all the maybe-this-job, maybe-that-job is over. You know where you're going to be and what you're going to be doing. And you're depressed.

It's normal. You've spent your entire life preparing for the best opportunities, the best job. And now -- you've had to settle on one. You feel like a lot of doors are closing. And that's depressing.

Hang in there. Once you start working, it gets much more exciting.

BCEagle91

Moving to a new city is considerable stress for anyone - those that have done it before, and those young and old. No problem asking your parents or friends for help.

In the old days, companies would even provide relocation assistance [on one of my moves, they hired and paid for the movers, provided insurance for the move, cash and meals for our trip and closing costs reimbursement for the old and new place]. You may find that people in your new office are helpful in helping you get settled in - in terms of finding services and taking care of things - because they have lived there for a while.

We have someone visiting our office for a month from the other side of the world. He's in a hotel where the restaurant is only open a few days a week, has no fridge and no microwave. He doesn't have a car here and is going to talk or take cabs everywhere. His electronic access is a work in progress. He's probably a little older but he's essentially living out of a suitcase and hotel room. We (his group) are ready to provide help and support, though, if he requests it.

Do you have any extended family in the area that could help?

GladGradDad

I've moved a lot on my own including when I was younger than you but never had any angst about it. My kid who moved across country didn't have an issue either. I'm saying this so you realize it's possible to do thi without it really being a problem. It's just a state of mind.

I think your dad's right - just take it a step at a time and start ticking things off. It'll all come together pretty soon.

You probably know that switching banks is trivial - all you have to do is go to the new bank (or Credit Union), say you want to open an account, and they'll guide you through it since you're the customer (and if they don't treat you like one then walk out and find another).

Look on Craigslist for the area you think you want to live. It'll give you an idea of costs and availability. If you don't know where you want to live in the DC area just post that question here on CC and you'll get plenty of feedback since there are lots of CCers familiar with young people living in the DC area.

Health insurance plan - this is usually a non-event. You just sign up when you first start your new job. You'll probably spend the first day or two doing stuff like this.

Car insurance - just call your present insurance company agent and explain where you're going and see if they cover there. Get a price. If that doesn't work then just contact a few of the biggies and get quotes - State Farm, AAA, Geico, etc. (and USAA if you qualify).

You'll adjust in no time. You may find that after moving there you don't really like the area you're in as much as some other area. This is no problem if you're renting - you can just move when your lease is up. Many people do this.

Remember that this isn't all permanent - if you don't like your apt you can find another, if you don't like your company you can find another, if you don't like the DC area you can find another opportunity elsewhere. Knowing that it's not permanent might alleviate some of your anxiety.

soccergurl7988

@BCEagle-- Nope, no extended family. My family is concentrated in the Chicagoland and Indianapolis areas, they think I'm crazy for moving away. Hard for them to understand defense contracting isn't exactly a Midwestern-based career

@GGDad--Yeah, I think it's the 'permanence' that bothers me. Up until things started getting serious, I was bored of sitting on the couch and having interviews and really ready to work. I'm really not sure if I'll like the job at all, I'm just afraid of letting my own expectations and my family down. I have the 'cool' job

AllThisIsNewToMe

I was terrified when I moved away for my first job, but I had to act brave so my mom wouldn't fall apart anymore than she already was! It was SO much fun though!!! Making your own money and your own decisions. You will love it!

Congratulations!!!

GladGradDad

soccergurl:

Those are normal emotions but don't worry, if you end up deciding this job is no longer for you, you can start the search for a new job, whether that's in DC or elsewhere, and once you land one, switch. You'll find very few posters here who are still at their original post-college job and/or location.

BCEagle91

I think that most young adults find that their first year of a full-time job goes by very quickly.

sryrstress

Ok, I lived in Indpls and my doctors are there and I live between Indy and Chicago, I so I have to post! I think your concerns are common. I also think even without such a big move, or to a larger city, that many recent grads feel some angst and letdown. It's just such a change from college life, even if one worked during college. Even if it's the dream job or location...

Most of these things are a transition and put together, I think can be somewhat overwhelming to start doing independently, especially all at once. It will be fine and you will get the necessary things done. Breathe deep and do one thing at a time. It will all get done.

I'll be the first to admit living in Washington or any other big congested city, would be difficult for me. Midwest is a different lifestyle. However, you may really love it. Getting involved sounds like a great idea. Plus, you are young. It doesn't need to be permanent if you don't want it to be. It will be a great career starter and good experience.

Good luck!

collegeshopping

I think how you are feeling is completely normal. There are many things you can do now to make the move itself easier. Switch banks now to a bank that serves both your area and has branches in DC. This way you have full access to your money the day you arrive and it is something you don't have to deal with. Check your credit report. Make sure your credit is strong enough to lease an apartment on your own. If you have a general idea where you want to live, call a real estate agent (they do rentals too...) and if you find a good one, they will guide through the process, respect your budget and filter apartments for you. They are paid by the either the apartments or owner of a condo so this is no expense to you. If you use the agent they should give you a utilities paper with every number you need to set up utilities. Put the new driver's license and car tags on the back burner. You typically have at least 30 days to complete this and it should not be a burning issue for you until you settle in your new home. Your health insurance should be covered by your new human resources department. They will hand you a packet, tell you to fill it out and that should be it. The fact that you interned in DC is huge. You have a general idea of the city, where you may want to live, how transportation works etc. I think these are critical things.

Make a list in chronological order and just start ticking them off. By putting it all in writing it should calm you.

soccerguy315

Welcome to DC! It's where all the cool kids live.

And by cool, I mean the kids that like to pay lots of money to rent a mediocre apartment.

As other people have said, some things will take care of themselves as they come up, like health insurance. Other stuff is necessary but not especially urgent.

I just recently started my new job too after grad school... I am most concerned with making it through the sequestration if the bozos on the Hill don't get their act together.

HImom

CONGRATS! You should be very proud that you've gotten to this point. Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit overwhelmed, but it is a lot of changes in a short period of time, so not unexpected.

One thing to consider is find out if your folks' health insurance will keep covering you until you turn 26. That is the case for our health insurance. It covers S even tho he has a full-time job that offers health insurance & he's opted to remain on the family policy instead of paying for one on his own.

Another thing to consider is whether any financial institutions you CURRENTLY use have branches near your workplace or wherever you may live. If so, there may not be a need to switch banks. We have Schwab accounts in HI & S has one in DC/Arlington as well. He also has a few other accounts that he's GRADUALLY consolidating (not everything has to be done at the same time--he's already been there over a year & still in the consolidation process).

Remember too that wherever you live doesn't have to be LONG term--you can see how you do & some rentals allow you one month to be sure you like it--S did that & moved just before the month was up to a place he liked better. He used padmaster.com to help sift through places to live and found a place's very happy with that is well within his income range.

BCEagle91

So if you want to work in DC, you should play soccer, right?

soccergurl7988

@BCEagle--Apparently so!

@HImom--Unfortunately, my bank isn't east of say, Pittsburgh. And of course, most of the major banks in the suburbs of DC aren't anywhere near my hometown. I like to make things difficult In terms of health insurance, I think I can stay on my dad's for another 2 years. I'm not sure what packages my employer offers yet, so that really depends.

@soccerguy--Luckily, my field isn't impacted too too much by the Hill. In terms of mediocre apartments...nothing can get worse than a college apartment in Indiana. Seriously, my bathroom doesn't even have an outlet in it currently.

CollectivSynergy

DC is an amazing city for young people. It combines the relative comfort and suburban feel of, well, suburbia, with trendy eats, nightlife, and a LOT of people your age. I'd look forward to living there.