Do you take kids and friends to dinner when visiting them at college?

Marie51 · 10-17-2012, 08:14 AM

I will be visiting my son at his college shortly and am wondering if I should take him and his friends out to dinner. I did this his freshman year, but not since. I remember this during my own college years, but wonder if this is a tradition that young women enjoy more than young men . Your thoughts?

frazzled1 · 10-17-2012, 08:20 AM

This is one of the joys of visiting your kids at school. I have three ds, and their guy friends often came to dinner with us. Kids of both genders were always wonderful guests: polite, so happy to have a nice meal off campus - and always had to be persuaded to order exactly what they wanted, because they were mindful of ordering inexpensively. I wish we could go back and do it all over again.

I'm not fond of my oldest d's ex, but he has given our family one of our funniest memories. I took a bunch of d's college friends out to a popular Indian restaurant. The ex was over 21, but declined my invitation to order a drink. Instead, he ducked quickly into the bar a few times on his own, and by the end of dinner was feeling no pain. He grabbed the check from me and I literally had to chase this inebriated young man through the restaurant to get it back. He was impaired enough that this was challenging but not impossible. Would he really have paid for dinner for seven? I'll never know.

dentmom4 · 10-17-2012, 08:24 AM

I remember my parents taking my friends and me out to dinner a lot, but DS never wanted to take anyone along. DD is now a freshman and when I offered to take her and a few friends, she declined, saying she wanted me all to herself!

I think it's important to include kids from near and far whose parents may not be able to visit. Sometimes it's just the time away from the dorm food and connecting with a family that gives kids the break they may need.

gsmomma · 10-17-2012, 08:29 AM

Everytime we visit D1 at school, a meal is involved. I often joke that if we are there between 9AM and 9PM, we will need to feed her. We have taken her BF and a few of her friends with us.

hudsonvalley51 · 10-17-2012, 08:31 AM

One or two friends? Yes.

A crowd? No.

My crowd budget has already been allocated to the Bursar's Office at my daughter's college.

churchmusicmom · 10-17-2012, 08:32 AM

We always took our kids and their friends to dinner when we visited them. I miss those days!

lammb66 · 10-17-2012, 08:32 AM

I have taken my DD's friends out on a couple of occasions last year when she was a freshman. We had a wonderful time with them. She even brought them home with her a couple of time for a visit and we would always take them out. This year we have been to visit one time and her friend's parents were there the same weekend so we didn't take them out. Actually though, we did order pizza one night and bought enough for all the roomies and watched a movie with them. We are going up for a dance performance this weekend and I will play it by ear. If the friends are around when we are heading out to dinner of course I will invite them. I hope they would do the same if their parents are in town and take my DD out to dinner.

oldfort · 10-17-2012, 08:56 AM

D2 is a freshman. Last time I was up I asked her if she wanted to invite some friends. She said yes, and there were 6 people. We are going up for Parents Weekended this Fri, we'll let D2 decide who she wants to invite. We generally left it up to our kids.

wbow · 10-17-2012, 09:06 AM

my youngest went to college in a very rural and isolated town. it seems as if all parents took kids out to dinner while visiting, so when we visited i felt it was our turn to pay it back a little. it was so much fun--and now i know some of his life-long friends. so glad we were able to do that.

now that he still lives 1200 miles away -- college friends invite him to their homes quite often for weekends and holidays. it's a good feeling to know that his circle of friends has remained close.

emilybee · 10-17-2012, 09:12 AM

We haven't yet because we were only up last year for Parents Weekend and all his friend's parents were there, but next time we go up we definitely will.

Right now my DS and his two roommates are here, having over-nighted on their way up to Montreal for Oct. break. I fed them pizza and beer.

laserp · 10-17-2012, 09:18 AM

just got back from parents weekend with our son. He organized a group dinner for 15 that included parents and students on Friday night and everything was split between parents and then we made a reservation on Saturday night at a restaurant he wanted and he invited a few of his friends. We left it up to him how he wanted to do it and it worked out beautifully. I think I was expecting he would want more alone time with us, but I actually had to ask for some!

gosmom · 10-17-2012, 10:04 AM

Both my D & S attend/ed schools in remote areas. With D, always a small group of girls went to dinner. With S, a much larger group, guys and girls. Reflective of each of their personalities. So much fun to see our babies interact with their now grown up friends. With S, have gotten used to much larger bills--boys can eat! ("I'll have page 2!") Sad that we have only one more year to do this--at college. Marie, you won't regret doing this....enjoy!

07DAD · 10-17-2012, 11:05 AM

Since my S was 750 miles away at college, I did not get out there very often. I always offered to take him out to eat and I never recall him saying no. I recall that I took him out to eat at freshman drop off and in his soph and senior years.

We included a friend of his once. We enjoy each other's company, so usually there was no friend joining us at dinner.

At graduation, the group of seniors my S had as friends had a "house party" at an off campus house and all the parents and families were invited. It was enjoyable.

As someone else mentioned, the "and friends" decision is something that probably depends on the particular people and how often you see your student at college.

MaineLonghorn · 10-17-2012, 11:10 AM

Just remember to be grateful your kids are well enough to live away from home! I would love to be able to do that with my kids. My older son is living at home, and I think his younger brother will have to, also. I'll have to wait for my 14-year-old daughter to get to college!

jym626 · 10-17-2012, 11:12 AM

Absolutely!! Those are the best times/memories!! We'd take as many as he could cram in the car or meet up with us. We ususally took a different bunch each nite. What a blast. Highly recommend it!! It doesnt have to be expensive, but they love the opportunity to go out.