golani89

Look i dont have problems with drinking and such andi have good friends. The shoplifting as immoral and stupid and since ive been caught i have never done it. However, ive been drinking since end of freshman yr and i enjoy it. I have run from the cops once or twice and gotten away this time it would not have been feasible to run because of the location adn situation. I understand the stupiddity. Its not drinking, its getting caught. My parents werent so much concerned about drinking but about being stupid and getting caught. Now i am wondering aboutthe legal rammifications as well concequences for college

Faline2

However, ive been drinking since end of freshman yr and i enjoy it.

This statement shows Impaired Judgment and the fact that you have to spend energy managing your criminal record shows Impaired Judgment.

I am sorry your parents are only focused on your problems with "getting caught" if you are being straight with parents on this board about that.

Drinking is a lifetime activity/management issue for all of us involving making decisions about values and how to use one's time and energy. Of course we were also your age at one time and we all have had close calls and good friends who have been arrested, cited etc. We could also have a beer in college and it was not a legal issue. At age fifty, we have friends we love and care about who partied in HS and college the most who later ended up in rehab more than once.

Starting drinking in 9th grade puts you in the At Risk category for many different kinds of Consequences. Starting drinking in 9th grade makes you different, and not in an interesting way. I think you know that.

Be interesting for other things and let drinking recede in your social life.

Put Lucifer in this search engine when you have the time. He was also drinking in his early high school years.

OpiefromMayberry

golan,

Here's what you're not getting in most of the messages posted.. look at the things you are doing and see where trouble is as a possibility and make a decision. If your goal is college, maybe park the beer for a year and avoid another mishap or keep doing what you're doing and if you pick up a DUI or have an accident or anything... live with the results.

It's the laws of probability to concern yourself with. If you drink there is a probability you might get caught again.. if you don't for a while, what's the probability of a MIP?

It sounds like your a smart kid doing stupid things. That's not unusal, it's pretty normal. Your answer is pretty tipical too.. alot of YA YA SURE SURE..
If having a weekend or weeknight beer over the next year is more important to you than a clean sheet to college, nobody can stop you. Maybe you don't get caught, maybe you do. What's that beer worth to you?

Keep in mind as long as a written record was created, there's no such thing as a sealed record. If somebody else knows, it's not a secret. There are ways to find out just about anything these days. Even the inability to open a record, means there's something inside. Name one time where the term "sealed record" means something good? When your in competition for enrollment with somebody else, how much lead do you want in your trackshoes?

citygirlsmom

you know what, golan, and this is going to sound mean, but I wish they had really busted you you need a serious wake up call

we had a poster here who talked albout drinking, and getting drunk, and no one could tell him anything

he is dead from drinking, as a freshman in college

your parents, if you are telling the truth, are fools and no wonder you do what you do

if they cared about you at all, you woudn't be told, to not get caught next time

I am no going to offer anymore advice, as you know it all....and to be honest, don't deserve any....you have learned nothing from this experience...

Faline2

My husband is a lawyer. The phone rings here at night anytime a neighbor or colleague's son or daughter has a Citation, a DUI or a car wreck. That is really why I bothered to respond to your 2am question after you were cited. Do we love some of these kids..you bet. Have many of them turned out just fine. Of course.
The fact that you were stealing when you were past fifteen not Five is a red flag.

At 17, you are one year from having to sign your Honor Code at the University that admits you. This is actually a big deal at many colleges. Any lying or cheating or stealing is prohibited and kicked to student run systems in many cases. But mainly, colleges try not to admit students who would require adjudication services.

Your talking about "running from cops" -- Reminds me of Lucifer writing us about how to buy Everclear and beer by changing the bar codes in stores so he could bypass the law..he had been doing this for years, and he seemed to think we would think this was clever or funny. His judgment was impaired. His ethics were impaired. They did not match his terrific intellect. He had a big connection to drinking equals socializing by age 17. He was in Cornell after acing a long list of AP exams with fives. He was a very intelligent person who was popular and energetic. However, after he died on St. Patty's weekend in my state at the Unversity of Virginia the two older UVa kids who bought his supply in Charlottesville were dragged through the courts and punished. The frat he rushed at Cornell had confronted him about his disconnect from "reality" about his drinking, so he dropped out of rush. He had been confronted many times by friends. Problems that came from drinking were glossed over and rationalized.

One of the reasons so many parents remember him so clearly is that Lucifer always wrote in a very articulate manner when he addressed the parent board.

If you want adult opinion on this matter or later on college app matters, I would suggest that you write at your best level when you post.

Every college app is different.
I know a kid who began top his 10 LAC with this little citation blot on his record that made participation on his sports team probationary even after he was admitted (Post April, seniors can get a little slack when the pressure is off and let their guards down.)
I know a kid who lost his place in the Naval Academy after it was too late to apply anywhere else.

Your post indicates that A. You care about not getting caught and B. You care about not having negative consequences for your college apps. You have to think about more subtle things. Who are you trying to impress in life..people who chide you for not running from cops adeptly or should you change your peer group? What people think of you and what they say about you..not every contact with a college is necessarily on paper and you can't control what a reference may say about you. We never saw a written word of any reference sent to my S's eight colleges. We don't know what phone contact took place between his school and any college. You probably won't either.

Your reach colleges and even your match colleges have a large pool of equally qualified young men and women to choose from in many cases. Duke turned down 800 valedictorians the year my son was admitted. Stats aren't everything by a long shot.

Colleges today try very hard to avoid "problem" students..sorry but this is true for litigation purposes. My husband has also been involved in litigation on the subject of students with histories that colleges don't want to deal with. Colleges seek students with strong self governance and emotional maturity. Colleges really don't care to be in the Police job that today's 21 year old legal drinking age creates but the law is the law. When I was your age boys 17 and 18 were going to Vietnam. Beer was a non issue. You will be in a different ball game of four more years of legal risks. So again, my parental advice. Make alcohol unimportant in your life in high school. Prepare for a longer spell in college when you are still not legal but around people who are legal all the time. Make changes before they are made for you.

OpiefromMayberry

FALINE2,

Very nicely put. Now, just incase your reasoned post doesn't reach him, can I kick him the backside hard enough to jar his brain?

laxmom

.."Who cares? An underage drinking citation is no big deal..."

Tell that to the Education major who may have trouble getting a teaching job with that on their record.

If golani is drinking now, one can only imagine what will happen when she gets to college...I still vividly remember Lucifer's posts...*sigh* I surely don't want to read about someone else...

jasmom

golani,
Please understand what you are hearing as genuine concern. If we sound angry, or overly conservative, remember that we lost one poster and we don't want to lose another. Even if your drinking is not at a level that risks your life, it IS at a level that risks your goals. If, at any point, you find yourself wanting to reconsider, please pm me. I'll provide you with accurate stats about drinking, ways to keep yourself safe, and resources if needed. I respect your right to make your own decisions; I just worry.

golani89

drinking is something you do responsibly. I made a mistake and got caught its simple as that. Why a 17 yr old cant drink just as responsibly as a 21 yr old i dont no. Obv more 17 yr old drink irresponsibly than a 21 but simply bc ur 17 does not mean u do it irresponsibly. I appreciate everyones concern. I dont think ill be drinking alot till im 21 from fear of getting caught again but all in all im not concerned with the problem of alcohol but with legal ramifications

citygirlsmom

um, not a mistake, a choice, or was your mistake not running fast enough

It is not a mistake to do something more than a few times....a mistake is not done by choice...you CHOSE to drink and run, and are choosing to continue the activity even though you are risking so much

When you drink, how much and for how long? And guess running from the police didn't teach you much

"you won't be drinking much" if I were you, why take the chance at all?

but you do know best, getting caught and all....

seeing young people DIE who talked just like you....why do we bother>

cause we hope we can get through

golani89

i dont understand you, one dayi wont be able to drink legally in this country the next day i will. Do i all of a sudden gain some sort of maturity from it. I dont drink and drive. I dont play drinking games. I no when to stop. I am not gonna be that idiot taking 21 shots on my 21st birthday. It is a question of how you drink. Many adults die from alcohol poisoning and dui's too but we dont lecture them. Why isnt it possible that 17 yr old can drink resopnsibly but he is mature enough and is responsible enough carry a firearm and fight for the US. I am not trying to convince any of you that problems from drinking dont happen because they do. But because me and a few buddies bang some beers or take some shots, the world is not gonna go upside down as long as i say to myself this is the last one.

citygirlsmom

you are risking your college future, having gotten caught once, i really don' care what you do, as you don't care much either, but just don't drive or let your mature little buddies do it either

HImom

I have seen many futures compromised by folks under 21 who have been caught drinking. No matter what you say, breaking a law (whether you agree with the law or not) is a HUGE risk. You can rationalize your actions and those of your friends however you wish, but are the high stakes really risk whatever benefit you get from drinking? Only you & your friends can answer that and do each time you choose whether to drink or abstain from alcohol.

Colleges generally require references and DO pay attention to what is said about you, your character, etc. Word does get around, whether things are "official" or not, especially the more frequently one makes choices that are illegal.

joev

Dude, ignore alot of these posts they are going to lecture you until your head is blue. Just pay the fine and roll with it, this will never come up again ever at any time in your life, trust me. Maybe future stuff down the line if you are prone to alcoholism, but this isolated incident will not effect your college applications or life in any way. Every partier (or ex-partier) has got something like this on their record that noone ever really remembers. Worry about the DUI in a couple years, forget about this petty crap.

Chillin86

^^Agreed. I feel sorry for citygirl.