tom725

A women accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.

After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said: 'If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die:
1. Each morning , fix him a healthy breakfast.
2. Be pleasant and make sure he is in a good mood.
3. For lunch, make him a nutritious meal.
4. For dinner, prepare him an especially nice meal.
5. Don't burden him with chores as he probably had a hard day.
6. Don't discuss your problems with him.
7. And most importantly, have sex with him several times a week and satisfy his every whim.'

On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor said to her.
'You're going to die' she replied.

berurah

Yes, die indeed!!!

b4nnd20

Haha, I love how the husband is going to die anyway even if the wife does all those things (everyone dies!) so WHY BOTHER. haha news flash: you're surely going to die, whether i make it easy for ya or not

sesshomaru511

''Haha, I love how the husband is going to die anyway even if the wife does all those things (everyone dies!) so WHY BOTHER. haha news flash: you're surely going to die, whether i make it easy for ya or not''

relax buddy.
you don't have to take everything seriously.

galwaymom

One of my 87yo patients told me this joke a decade ago. She is still alive, and her husband is long gone.
It's the only joke whose punchline I remember, although in the version I know, the doctor's last recommendation is that she satisfy her husband sexually several times a week "or he will die."
I have retold it many times since!

sesshomaru511

Well, I have a joke.

A lady awoke one morning and discovered her dog was not moving. She called her vet, Dr Thomas, who asked her to bring the dog in. After a brief examination, the vet pronounced the dog dead.

'Are you sure?', the distraught woman asked. 'He was a great family pet. Isn't there anything else you can do?'

Dr Thomas paused for a moment and said, 'There is one more thing we can do.' He left the room for a moment and came back carrying a large cage with a cat in it. The vet opened the cage door and the cat walked over to the dog. The cat sniffed the dog from head to toe and walked back to the cage.

'Well, that confirms it.' the vet announced. 'Your dog is dead.'

Satisfied that the vet had done everything he possibly could, the woman sighed, 'How much do I owe you?'

'That will be $1100.' the vet replied.

'I don't believe it!!!', screamed the woman. 'What did you do that cost $1100?

'Well', Dr Santa Singh replied, 'it's $100 for the office visit and $1000 for the cat-scan.'