Serenity_Now

Hi, all. Some weeks ago my S got a letter from the school guidance including an activity resume, student brag sheet, and parent brag sheet. This is what's stated on the parent brag sheet:
This is your opportunity to tell us some of the wonderful things you know about your child. The information will be used, with care, in your child's letter recommendation. It will be helpful if you would share stories and anecdotes that support your thoughts. Tell us about 3 significant aspects of your child (How is he now? How he got through a tough time?...)

Now I'm wondering what is the best thing I can put on here? As this will factor into the letter of recommendation, I want to write glorifying all the great stuff my S has done over the years. What is the best possible thing that I could put on here to make an impression to admissions? His qualities? One specific instance in which he has shone?...

Lafalum84

Well, his achievements will show up on his activity resume. What I'd want to include is the stuff that's behind the scenes, that only someone who knows my child would know. What is his personality? Why did he choose the activities that he did?

DS applied to Union College last year, which lets parents submit a recommendation (their reasoning - who knows your kid better?) Here's most of what I wrote:

"Our son, **DS **, is a teen whose quiet deeds and valuable contributions do not draw much attention. He is not one who will “blow his own horn,” but when he takes on a responsibility he follows through. He has a strong sense of ethics that governs his actions, yet is not judgmental of those whose personal beliefs differ from his. One of our proudest moments came when DSs freshman history teacher told us, “I hope my two year old son grows up to be a young man like DS.”
DS’s most visible leadership position was within his Boy Scout Troop. Troop ***is a very active unit, with about 40 boys from sixth grade through high school. As a sophomore, he served as his troop’s Senior Patrol Leader (SPL). This role is so demanding that his Scoutmaster asked for our permission before offering the position to DS. The SPL is the “go-to-guy” when the adults on the Troop Council need something done. It is his job to see that the other Scouts are doing what they are supposed to do. The SPL must earn the respect of the other boys in the troop, because otherwise it can be very difficult to convince a 12-year-old that it is indeed his turn to clean the latrine at camp! There were several boys who were eligible for the position, but the Scoutmaster felt DS was the best choice. SPL can be a thankless position, but DS handled it well. Only a few people outside of the troop know about DS’s participation and leadership in Scouts, but the adults who volunteer with the troop have remarked to us how helpful DS is and how much they appreciate him.
As a student DS is intellectually curious, diligent and self-motivated. He is interested in history and government policy, and will dig deeper to learn why and how a situation evolved, and what can be done to improve it. He is leaning towards Economics as a practical application of his interests.
In his free time, DS loves to ski. He has a wry sense of humor, and is a fan of “The Daily Show,” “The Office,” and Monty Python. He can tell you dozens of reasons why the Red Sox are better than the Yankees. Musically his taste leans toward classic rock. He is a terrific older brother to his sister, who is a freshman at ***** High.
If you admit DS to Union, you will be providing a great opportunity to a student who will take advantage of it in his own quiet way. He will actively participate in the life of the College and enrich the lives of his fellow students with his friendship, humor, and intellectual discipline. An ethical, responsible, kind person like DS may often be taken for granted; but he is a truly valuable member of any group lucky enough to have him."

Anyway, the idea is that I highlighted one thing on his activity resume, and otherwise talked about the person that can't be seen on the resume.

NJ_mother

Our D's HS also sent a brag sheet home- it's to fill in the blanks for the guidance counselors who spent 10 minutes the previous 3 years with her. We sort of resent it. We'd like to send in our own statement as to way our daughter should go to her #1 choice (also my alma mater). Not really a rec, just a statement about our D.

bookworm

Never had this request. I am impressed Laf's letter, both the prose and the student.

KateLewis

DD's school used this. We took advantage of the opportunity to weave in anecdotes that highlighted some distinctive character traits that set her apart, and which tied across multiple activities in which she had been involved. Each example was independently verifiable with the faculty member/coach involved, but we used them to collectively paint a picture and create the pattern for the GC.

We weren't trying to influence the GC to write a better rec, but to write an accurate rec.

CountingDown

We were also asked to do this. One of the questions was about what considered DS's three biggest accomplishments in high school. Rather than rattling off some awards, we talked about his personal growth and how he has overcome obstacles to reach his goals.

We also included some family anecdotes that illustrate his personality and how he pursues his passions outside of school.

But basically, what Kate said.

momof3sons

Our HS asked for something similar. I used the opportunity to tell S's college counselor about accomplishments outside of school which I knew my S would never mention because he considered it to be bragging.

doubleplay

The way I would look at it is...they're going to use this letter to write their letter. So I'd basically write your son's "dream" recommendation letter, the way you would love to see it. If the GC doesn't want to use what you wrote, she doesn't have to. If she wants to use some or all of it- great!

sly_vt

We had this opportunity, too. Our GC asked us to list "some adjectives that describe your son or daughter." Some colleges ask for that on their recommendations.

We were also asked "In what ways will your son or daughter be an asset to his/her college?" I gave specific examples, including some that I thought the GC might not know about. I broke this down -- how I thought my daughter would contribute to the college community, as a student, as a friend/roommate, and as an alumni.

If your kid does things outside of school, or contributes in a more subtle way, this letter is a good way to highlight these activities.

woody

Lafalum- I truly thought I was reading the essay we had to write for our son! Really, it was nearly identical - just switch the Yankees/Redsox adoration!!

VeryHappy

Our HS asks for this as well.

I used it as an opportunity to point out that while others may have a slightly higher GPA than my son, he does NOT have to stay up cramming and sweating in order to get his grades. In other words, I pointed out that he's really really smart -- and doesn't have to work hard to show it. I also provided anecdotes about how hard he could work when he really really was motivated (like, with sports, and certain classes that grabbed him).

I was also able to highlight his uniquenesses by pointing out his varying interests in music and art. (He's really a math and science kid.) I was able to use the fact that he's jumped from one musical instrument to another as a positive, rather than something that could be construed as a negative.

BAfromBC

At our HS, the parent essay is required, as well. My D had to write approx. 13 short essays for her GC on everything from academic interests, EC's, summer programs to future goals. Along with a bit of "bragging," I took the opportunity to discuss the way she was raised, some personal challenges she faced, and the way certain personality traits have shaped her outlook. The GC's spend little time with the students until they are ready to apply to college. I didn't think the GC knew much about my D, and was quite surprised when during our joint junior conference she made some rather insightful and complimentary observations about her. When we handed her the completed "surveys" she replied that she usually writes the rec from what she already knows about the student. (GC's have a huge caseload at our HS.) Disappointing, but encouraging at the same time.

vamother

i just got a letter from school that i have to write the brag sheet for mu D and i am not suer what to write? i do not like bragging, even though i should, my D is very good student with GPa 3.9 she plays sports and active in school. i just do not know now to phrase it.

VeryHappy

They call it a "brag sheet" just for short-hand. You're not bragging; you're filling in the blanks. What should they call it, a "filling-in-the-blanks sheet"?

mathmom

I filled in some of the behind the scenes stuff. So for example I mentioned that one of the reasons S2 did so well on the AP World exam was that he'd spent his entire childhood reading about history - even the history supplements to video games like the Civilization games. For my older son I talked about how when he got interested in a subject he learned everything about it, and persevered no matter how much material was seemingly over his head. I mentioned a math book (The Book of Numbers) he read in 5th grade over and over again till he understood most of it and also how he taught himself enough computer programming to take AP Comp Sci as a freshman and then some other examples of what he did after that.

BTW some of the things I mentioned (such a list of computer programming languages) ended up getting quoted verbatim when he was given a technology award. I hadn't realized that the GC may use material when nominating kids for awards and scholarships, so do put everything in.