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I hate college

S89S89 Posts: 5Registered User New Member
edited September 2007 in Parent Cafe
I really didn't want to post this, but I have no where else to turn. Plain and simple, I hate college. I'm a freshman at one of the top LACs and I just don't like it here. First, the classes are very boring and not stimulating at all. I thought that college classes would actually be fun and interesting and intellectually stimulating, but this is not the case at all. Also, I don't really fit in here. Every weekend, everyone just wants to get drunk, do drugs, and hookup. I don't drink, don't do drugs, and would rather a relationship with a person that I really liked than just a random drunken encouther with a stranger and risk getting a STD. This doesn't mean that I don't want to have fun, but I would rather do a fun activity with a few friends than go to crazy parties. The only thing besides drinking seems to be dance parties and I don't like to dance and don't know how to. I'm definitely introverted, but I'm not like really shy. I have "friends" here, but I don't have real friends. I haven't connected with anyone who is really similar to me.
Post edited by S89 on
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Replies to: I hate college

  • lorelei2702lorelei2702 Posts: 2,103Registered User Senior Member
    Do you live in a dorm? If so, talk to your RA, your Head Resident. Talk to some of the students busy with student activities. Find programs with which you can meet busy, active people. Check out student activities. Talk to the Dean of Students. Reach out...you are not in this alone. There are like minded folks at your school....you were not chosen for their class by accident, you know. Good luck.
  • emeraldkity4emeraldkity4 Posts: 33,200Registered User Senior Member
    what were the qualities about the school that prompted you to choose it?
    Do those still exist? Why or why not?
    How can you find out more about the things that you liked about the school?

    How long have you been there- it takes at least 3 to 6 months to learn a new habit & it will probably take at least that long to feel comfortable.
    I wouldn't advise to do things that you aren't comfortable with- but what would be your idea of a fun activity?
    Parties can be a chance to at least meet people- I really don't know what college parties are like- but even though I am quiet around people I don't know, I also like to join random conversations
    Another way to meet people is join a sports team or other activity- what sort of things have you already tried?
  • inverseinverse Posts: 400Registered User Member
    I am very sorry to hear this. There must some student group doing community service or something more serious than party. If you think it won't work, transfer to other school in the spring. There are actually some schools not even start their fall quarter yet. Good luck.
  • BayBay Posts: 10,638Registered User Senior Member
    If this helps at all, when I went away to college, I cried on the phone to my Mom at least 4 times my freshman year, saying that I wanted to quit and come home. She made me stick it out, and by mid-sophomore year, my college felt like "home" and I never looked back. I have heard similar stories from several friends about their kids feeling the same way during freshman year. Remember that going away to college is a HUGE adjustment. Best of luck to you.
  • holymommaholymomma Posts: 148Registered User Junior Member
    I would say that at least 1/3 of the freshman class at this point of the semester in any given college is feeling the same way you do. In other words, it's normal to feel this way so early in your college career. By all means, talk to someone if you feel you need to, but it will probably take until at least Thanksgiving before you feel "comfortable" at school.
  • razorsharprazorsharp Posts: 6,161Registered User Senior Member
    I would suggest you do two things:
    First, go to your career counseling office and see if they have tests that show what fields you are interested in or for which you have an aptitude.
    Second, transfer to a University with a broader selection of classes. Focus on universities with lots of classes reflecting your interestes identified in step one.
  • Sarahsmom42Sarahsmom42 Posts: 955Registered User Member
    S89,
    There are definately others like you at your campus! I just spoke to my D and I asked her about the party thing. She said that she really doesn't have TIME to party because she's too busy. You just have to find some clubs or groups that you can get involved with. If you've never done a play, they can be a blast and you don't have to be an actor to have fun! There are a thousand things that go on back stage and there is never enough help.
    There is most likely a gym on campus, take some classes over there if you can. My D tries to take something every day. Try something you've never done before, like spinning, yoga, pilates, or join a pickup volleyball or basketball game. Maybe you could take some dance lessons, you never know!
    You sound smart. There are all kinds of academic clubs on every campus. Everything from poetry to math teams to inventors club. Check it out! If you reach out, you'll find others like you. Good luck and keep posting!
  • Mets#1Mets#1 Posts: 54Registered User Junior Member
    I'm sorry to hear you do not like your college. Believe it or not there are other college kids feeling the same way you do right now. Try to give yourself more time. There must be clubs at your college. try joining one. Do they have movie night? Talk to RA I'm sure he/she could help you.
  • nikrudnikrud Posts: 227Registered User Junior Member
    You're going to be okay - you just have to find something new. Like the posters above noted, clubs are good. I know that student goverment and activities boards at LAC's are accessible to a lot of students. You will surely meet a lot of activity minded kids in those groups. As far as your classes go, hopefully the boredom you are feeling in this area is because you are not happy right now, and it's kind of putting a damper on your general outlook. For next semester you will be a little more familiar with the classes offered, their structure and speed at which the material is delivered. But don't give up, hang in there. And please, please listen to everyone who is telling you that everyone from your housefellow up to the deans are there to help you adjust. Don't hesitate to take advantage of this support system. It WILL get better, this is all very common. Good luck to you!
  • bethievtbethievt Posts: 6,725Registered User Senior Member
    There are ABSOLUTELY other kids right on your campus feeling just as you do--you need to find each other. Non-party activities and clubs, starting conversations with people who are sitting alone, the drama suggestion was great because even if you don't act, there are tons of opportunities, props, costumes, lighting, stage crew. You may find you have hidden talents. All campuses have movies. Go to some and talk to the students there. Keep us posted.

    It's way to early to think about a transfer--you've barely got your feet wet. Give this your best shot, but know in the back of your mind that there are hundreds of great schools out there and you'd get into most of them. Try to relax and find a way to enjoy this one--I guarantee there are lots of kids who would LOVE to hang out with a serious student who would like a caring relationship--it just can take time to make those contacts.
  • paying3tuitionspaying3tuitions Posts: 13,328Super Moderator Senior Member
    If you've never done a play, they can be a blast and you don't have to be an actor to have fun! There are a thousand things that go on back stage and there is never enough help.

    and
    drama suggestion was great because even if you don't act, there are tons of opportunities, props, costumes, lighting, stage crew. You may find you have hidden talents.

    please add my voice to this as a great idea for anyone looking for something interesting, social, not requiring party-ish charms. Timing is good, too, as things are just now getting off the ground. One way is to check your college website for the Theater Department, or call that office, and ask for upcoming scheduled plays. Some are done by the drama department, others done informally by students. All you need is the student director's name, to email and offer a hand backstage. If one doesn't reply, try the next one.

    Rehearsals and performances usually happen the same time as the parties you're not interested in... weekday evenings and weekends. Theater people are social but want to get the job done as a team. Not as competitive (backstage) as a lot of things...more collaborative.

    Other suggestions: anything outside your old comfort zone, for example: hiking club, outdoor club, church group, political cause, social justice project (helping kids in the community)...anything BUT parties. You're just noticing the parties because they're so loud, but other things are happening quietly off on the sidelines at any "top LAC."

    The choice is yours to reach out (that's the hard part if you're feeling blue). But if you got as far as this college, you surely can explore a bit further til you feel comfortable with an activity. Friends will follow from that. DON"T worry about parties, really.

    Push the button on your college's website called "student activities" and pursue a few until you find a right fit. You can definitely do this! When you feel happier the courses might seem better, too.

    Separating out the coursework, there are approaches to feeling more stimulated by courses. It's not spoon-fed at college. If the work is too easy, maybe you're someone who can actually read those "suggested readings" on the syllabus. Does your college have a program where a few kids can offer to take out a professor to lunch? Some places actually do this and p[ick up the tab for you. But you need to find a few in the class who'll do it. Meeting a prof and breaking bread with him/her can make you feel more involved in the class. Remember too that office hours held by profs are there. If you find anything intriguing in the class that s/he didn't go into with depth, drop in on the office hour and ask more about it. Just discuss it together for fun, nothing to do with the grade. LAC's are great at this kind of opportunity, and that could be unlike youre h.s. experience. Those poor lonely profs are just waiting in their offices for students to drop in on them...;)
  • minimini Posts: 26,431Registered User Senior Member
    The reality is that 1) there are indeed LACs where more than 50% of the student body IS binge drinking every weekend (and that's not counting those who are drinking, but somewhat more moderately, or underestimating their own drinking), and 2) at those very same LACs, between 15-25% of the student body doesn't drink at all. So, if that's who you are looking for, they are definitely there. It's too bad that many of their activities are (as the previous poster said), "on the sidelines" - but that doesn't make them any less interesting or exciting. And once you find them, I'll bet that lots of other things will fall into place as well.
  • MomofWildChildMomofWildChild Posts: 17,077Registered User Senior Member
    I'm more concerned about the OP feeling his classes are not intellectually stimulating. In my mind, this is why we are paying the big bucks, and my son had the same experience freshman year. He was completely disappointed in the majority of his classes (and many of his classmates). He truly could not see the allure of the highly-selective school he had chosen. He did transfer applications, and was seriously considering our state university.

    I want to tell the OP that sophomore year can be a lot better, and a lot has to do with choice of courses. I would have expected a better freshman experience at a LAC such as the one the OP attends, but if you hang in there, soph year might be a whole different deal. Get some good recommendations on courses, and try to avoid the pre-professional track if you are looking for intellectual stimulation.
  • doubleplaydoubleplay Posts: 3,550Registered User Senior Member
    I can understand why everyone would be replying in a positive way and trying to change the OP's attitude, HOWEVER...
    Is anyone really listening to what he is saying? If my son called home saying that everyone at his university is drinking, drugging, and having random hookups, and there's not a whole lot else going on, and that the classes are boring, I'd be a lot more concerned than to just say, "hey, hang in there, things will get better, it's not as bad as you think." I'd be extremely concerned and seriously consider removing him (if that's what he wants).

    Is it because people don't really believe the OP? Is it because it's a top LAC? If the OP had posted that he's going to a third tier public with the same story, would everyone be so quick to tell him to hang in there? I'd love to see the responses if the OP had not made any mention of the type of school he goes to. Especially with a title like "I hate college"... This is not a good situation.

    If my son was unhappy with his school, and the feeling didn't go away by the end of the first semester, I'd have no problem leaving the school. Boring and unstimulating classes? Majority of campus drinking, drugging, and having random sex? Doesn't sound like a place I'd want to be. Why would I want a kid to be there?
  • weenieweenie Posts: 5,793Registered User Senior Member
    ^ Excellent points, Doubleplay.

    It is so unfortunate that at many schools (and, yes, even "top" ones, whatever that means), kids feel like the only thing to do on weekends is get drunk, participate in weird sexual activities, and other unhealthy things. I think many kids manage to thrive at their colleges in spite of the "extra-curricular" activities, not because of them.

    To the OP - I think it is important to recognize that there probably ARE other freshmen feeling the same way as you. It might take some work to find them, and then to find something fun to do with them. (I think the last part of that might be the hard part.)

    Still, I'd give it a little time, but not rule out that maybe you've made a bad choice for you and consider a drastically different environment.
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