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More childless young men having vasectomies

NorthstarmomNorthstarmom Posts: 24,853Registered User Senior Member
edited October 2007 in Parent Cafe
One's outlook can change so much after one's 20s, that I think that many childless people who decide to become sterilized in their 20s will regret their decision later.

From Todayshow.com

"Vasectomy at 28: One man's decision

Like many men, Toby Byrum decided to have a vasectomy to end his reproductive years. Unlike most of them, Byrum had his at the age of 28 while he is still single and childless.

Two years later, the Web consultant from Jackson Hole, Wyoming, has no regrets.

“I view the next 15-20 years of my life as some of the best years I’m going to live. I wanted to make sure those years were . . . going to make me ultimately the happiest person I could be,” he told TODAY co-host Matt Lauer.

He’s not alone. Urologists around the country say that they are seeing a small but growing number of young men who are deciding to have vasectomies when they are young, all but insuring that they will never be able to have children of their own..."
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21115130/from/RS.5/
Post edited by Northstarmom on
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Replies to: More childless young men having vasectomies

  • Opie ofMaybery2Opie ofMaybery2 Posts: 1,815- Member
    I have to really wonder what is happening to the today show.
    Is this news?
    Who cares?

    I appreicate the fact that the guy is so into himself that he has taken precautions to ensure his "me" time. Bully for him.
  • A.S.A.P.A.S.A.P. Posts: 2,663Registered User Senior Member
    When my hubby was in graduate school and I was teaching (age 25), we were certain that we didn't want children. I will never forget the conversation I had with the university gynecologist (an ancient looking old man) about a referral for a tubal ligation, or a V for my DH. We had been dealing with birth control for 6 years of our marriage, which at that age, seemed like a long time. We liked the idea of a permanent "fix."

    "Nope. Not going to do it. You will regret it." He then proceeded to give me a lecture about the meaning of family and what's important in life.
    I left the office a bit miffed. We were adults, after all!
    We put our sterilization plans on hold for awhile. I think his little talk resonated with some part of me that I wasn't very in touch with at the time.

    I don't need to tell any of you here on this board how glad I am that this doctor didn't go along with our plans. We could have found another, of course, but his nosy and opinionated response did make a difference. We had our first baby when I was 34, nearly 10 years later. We were grown ups by then, and what was important to us had not changed so much as expanded.

    It certainly sounds like this young man is not ready to be a father (or husband, for that matter). But I would be very sad if either of my kids decided to make that decision permanent at that age. And they'd definitely get my lecture, and one from anyone else I think they might listen to.
  • MotherOfTwoMotherOfTwo Posts: 2,110Registered User Senior Member
    I have a funny story related to this topic. My friend (a really funny person, a great story teller) told us how her 17 year old son had injured himself recently while on a family vacation and had to go the emergency room. The young man had been circumcised a few months ago due to a medical problem which necessitated it. The ER nurse,taking the medical history, asked the kid if he had any recent surgeries, and my friend, very upset and stressed about her son's injury, answered before her son or husband could say a word. She said, "Yes, he had a VASECTOMY a few months ago," (meaning circumcision, but saying the wrong word due to the stress.) The nurse, the kid, and her husband all turned bright red before realizing what she meant to say, and the nurse joked that he would have set a record for age for having that procedure. My friend was sure the nurse ran to tell all her colleagues what she had said, and that they were all laughing at her :)
  • weenieweenie Posts: 5,793Registered User Senior Member
    Opie - Boy you hit the two main points right on the head.
  • thisoldmanthisoldman Posts: 1,045Registered User Member
    ^Ouch.

    But you were expecting that, weren't you?
  • thisoldmanthisoldman Posts: 1,045Registered User Member
    Girls will just have to add another item, "#459: Check for sperm count," on their check list for prospective mates.
  • poetsheartpoetsheart Posts: 5,085Registered User Senior Member
    It may a first seem like a silly story to run, but if you think about it for a bit, there are a lot of possible societal and even economic consequences to such a decision, practiced on a large scale.

    My sister and I were discussing this story just this morning, and we both agreed that anyone who is dead set against parenthood should do everything practical to avoid it, because parenting is an important job best performed by someone fully committed to parenting. What also came to mind was a discussion that occurred here on CC a number of months ago: Basically, the discussion centered around the fact that men can be held financially liable for the welfare of any children they might sire, whether they want the responsibility or not. They have no say over whether or not the mother has an abortion. If she decides to keep the child and go after the father for child support, there is little he can do to avoid that legal obligation. In the case of heterosexual men who are sexually active, a vasectomy is currently the only way they can have complete control over their own reproductive destiny. Abstinence will work, too. But few men are willing this go to this extreme, if they have other options;).

    Another consequence of widespread sterility in the nation's young male population, would be a dramatic decrease in the population of the next generation. Currently, some long developed countries (New Zealand comes immediately to mind, as well as some in Europe) are experiencing a serious population decline, and the attendant economic consequences of that decline. I doubt the U.S. would remain much of a economic and political powerhouse in the face of a serious youth population decline. Of course, we ARE also experiencing a large influx of poor immigrants, who aren't at this point overly concerned with population control, so that might only result in an ethnic population shift, not a age demographic shift. Still, for obvious reasons, a nation's economic vitality is influenced heavily by a robust population of the young and educated.
  • corrangedcorranged Posts: 6,684Registered User Senior Member
    My sister and I were discussing this story just this morning, and we both agreed that anyone who is dead set against parenthood should do everything practical to avoid it, because parenting is an important job best performed by someone fully committed to parenting.
    Vasectomies are permanent. Someone's feelings on parenthood are not, as ASAP shows.
  • poetsheartpoetsheart Posts: 5,085Registered User Senior Member
    Yeah, I understand about the permanence of vasectomy. And a young man could (and very likely might) change his mind on the question of fatherhood in the future. But it's still the only way he can absolutely prevent impregnating a woman during sexual intercourse. I've already outlined why he might consider that an imperative.
  • Opie ofMaybery2Opie ofMaybery2 Posts: 1,815- Member
    I think the guy's choice is fine as a personal choice. I just did not see this as newsworthy.

    I know of many people who choose for genetic reasons not to bear children. They adopt or some buy more shoes and have alot of "me" time ;).
  • BunsenBurnerBunsenBurner Posts: 16,785Registered User Senior Member
    I used to watch CNN a lot to get my news fix, but lately it seems to be filled with similar "newsworthy" items. Have you seen the Jib-Jab's "They call this stuff the news?" So true! I read my news on the Net nowadays, at least I can skip all the Britney garbage with a click of my mouse.
  • PrincedogPrincedog Posts: 740Registered User Member
    Vasectomies are permanent. Someone's feelings on parenthood are not, as ASAP shows.

    I realize it's a poor choice for short term birth control, but I'm under the impression that vasectomies are relatively reversible. More so than a woman having her tubes tied. Which is why it's difficult to get that procedure done under 30.
  • PrincedogPrincedog Posts: 740Registered User Member
    Vasectomies are permanent. Someone's feelings on parenthood are not, as ASAP shows.

    I realize it's a poor choice for short term birth control, but I'm under the impression that vasectomies are relatively reversible. More so than a woman having her tubes tied. Which is why it's difficult to get that procedure done under 30.
  • paying3tuitionspaying3tuitions Posts: 13,328Super Moderator Senior Member
    Am I missing something here? A young man wishing the best possible time for himself would still need to use a condom to protect himself and others re: sexually transmitted diseases, right? The condom would prevent pregnancy, simultaneously... not l00 percent but lots of percents effective.

    Maybe I'm missing a few details that explain why he might use a condom against STD's differently than if he were also worried about pregnancy.
  • 1of421of42 Posts: 2,443- Member
    Vasectomies are definitely reversible... I knew a guy who got one done, then reversed, and then done again.

    As for the condom thing... I suppose if it's only one partner they wouldn't necessary. Anything more would be risky, but that may or may not weigh heavily on these people's minds.
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