Do you google your S or D? - Page 2

binx · 10-12-2007, 11:40 AM

LOL, WashDad - you need to use the advanced search option, and use the "without the words" blank.

roshke · 10-12-2007, 12:16 PM

My own style and relationship with S is such that I would be straightforward, but I can understand that that may not feel right. On the other hand, your S may not have any idea that all this comes up with a simple googling of his name. The twist is that it's not even on his own site, it's on hers, which is exactly what I am always telling my kids when they say that their sites have privacy settings. Hopefully your S will see the wisdom of asking the girl to edit her page and remove this private conversation, or at the very least the link to his full name. If you can google this, so can a potential employer, etc. Alternatively, if you really don't want to be so direct, you can mention the topic in general and hope he takes the hint.

I've googled both of my kids and don't see anything wrong with that - it's information that is available to anyone and everyone. Interestingly, both of them have the same names as people who have very impressive resumes within their fields; at least that's a good thing if they were ever to be confused!

soozievt · 10-12-2007, 12:36 PM

^^Yeah, I found that there is another college student with my oldest D's same name but at least her sitings are all positive accolades, phew.

APOL · 10-12-2007, 01:53 PM

Someone was nice enough to post this topic last year while my daughter was in the throes of college applications, and summer job search. I told her what I learned from CC, and what I thought might be the reprocussions, and she elected to make her facebook posting private. She then spent the summer working for a executive recruiting firm doing research on candidates-and used the googling tool to find more about the candidates. Thank goodness for CC!

cartera45 · 10-12-2007, 02:43 PM

As an aside, the other thing that many people are not aware of is that many states have searchable databases now for both criminal and civil cases. So don't let anyone think that anything will be missed by those wanting to find it. All those things were always public record, but many people wouldn't bother to go to the trouble to get it before. So don't ignore a speeding ticket or make your estranged spouse call the police when going through a nasty divorce because those things are out there on the web.

vicariousparent · 10-12-2007, 03:17 PM

I will not be surprised to see the day when the erosion of privacy reaches a point that our fake names on CC, Yahoo, etc get unmasked and we all find out who everyone really is.

cartera45 · 10-12-2007, 03:21 PM

Names, addresses, phone numbers, SSNs, heights, weights and political affiliations pop up for me on CC already. Doesn't that happen with everyone?

curiousmother · 10-12-2007, 03:30 PM

^^^ Ha,ha! Not weight!

paying3tuitions · 10-12-2007, 03:52 PM

D's good college girlfriend, two years older than herself, moved to NYC after graduation. Several months later, the girl began to describe to her Facebook friends (with very appropriate language, judgment etc.) how she had a met an attractive young man, naming his alma mater and unusual job. My D figured it out: she was reading about her own big brother! In that huge city! Not wanting to jinx the relationship, she stayed silent to both of them on it. Anyway, two years later and all those relationships are still flourishing.

I realize this is different than the OP's situation. It was Facebook, not google; and all the details written online were plenty modest. They were college graduates who knew not to be foolish online.

If something immodest were published by a girl about my S, I'd go Curmudgeon's approach and tip S off. In the final round, you need to be loyal to S and let him protect his reputation, especially if the girl might publish more in the next installments!
Just be sure to let S know you're not offended by anything you read (lie, if you must) so he can focus on his OWN opinion about what she wrote, not your embarrassment.

You can certainly tell him you discovered this by googling him. It's flattering, really, to google someone. I track my cousin's professional papers, etc. this way. Tell him you just do this to keep up with everyone in the family you admire, including him. And woops, you found something he needs to double-check. Just send the link and add NO thoughts about the link. Curm is even more subtle, so better yet.

momof2inca · 10-12-2007, 03:56 PM

I google my kids every six months or so, just out of curiousity. If it were my son, I would probably email him that I'd googled his name (along with other names) and this is what popped up. I'd say I didn't mean to pry into anything personal and just wanted him to know the conversation is available for the public to see. He'll probably put his myspace or whatever site on "private" immediately (or ask the girl to do so). I wouldn't be embarrassed to admit to googling family members at all. It's not the same as looking in diary or eavesdropping.

oaklandmom · 10-12-2007, 08:25 PM

Thank you all! I'm going to copy Cur's words almost exactly. ""Hey, kid. I was googling your name to see what the world was saying about you and I found this personal crap. You better watch yourself. There are wierdos in your woods. Still no rumors about you from the Nobel folks. Oh well. Maybe next time." Kid will get it. (and yes, its me, not burying my head in the sand anymore...).

curmudgeon · 10-12-2007, 08:40 PM

Quote:

and yes, its me, not burying my head in the sand anymore...).

Way to step up to the plate , oaklandmom. Chutzpah looks good on you.

CountingDown · 10-12-2007, 11:54 PM

I advised DS1 to google himself as he was working on his activities resume, so he could see what might pop up if a college admissions officer poked around. Happily, there were things about activities he's participated in (that provide easy confirmation of his involvement), a couple of things about awards, and nothing terribly embarrassing. He kept his Xanga (when he had one) very anonymous. Never used his real name anywhere.

The biggest Google surprise was that I found a draft of the abstract for DS's huge project -- he was NOT a happy camper. Beware of what you save online with GoogleDocs!!

I've checked both kids, with their knowledge, but do so at the same time I'm googling myself or DH. I think of it as an online credit check of sorts -- just making sure there's no monkey business out there!

Sometimes DS will share with me something he's posted on his blog and I might suggest "do you really want to say that in a public forum?" or "If you're trying to maintain your anonymity, do you think this might be TMI?" Usually he agrees and will change it. There are plenty of examples of friends sharing WAY too much info online and that generates interesting conversations, so if I actually comment on something he's shared, he takes it seriously.

chocoholic · 10-13-2007, 10:44 AM

Actually this is getting kind of worrisome now. Most college kids use G-mail and G-chat. So are all their private chats "diggable".

Marian · 10-13-2007, 04:29 PM

I googled my kids and discovered that my son has the same name as a classic car hobbyist and my daughter has the same name as a documentary filmmaker. You would have to search through many pages of references to these and other people before running across anything that mentions my actual kids (although there are online mentions of both of them).

My husband and I could have done a better job in selecting their names.

On the other hand, if you Google me by my real name, you'll find me right away. Oh, dear.