Do you google your S or D? - Page 5

UriA702 · 11-26-2007, 04:00 PM

You have nothing to worry about. This is the 21rst century and the right to privacy is a long gone dream of the past. Your son is an adult and is well aware that by posting any personal information, it will be available to the entire PUBLIC, which includes his Mama.

Folks when your children are sent away to college how can you not believe they are having provocative sexual encounters with strange men/women, drinking and doing drugs. Regardless of how well you have raised your children, they are influenced by their peers and will engage or these activities. Many of the Columbia students I know lie to their parents almost religiously. Since the children are at college and getting good grades, there's no way they are going to act the way every other person aged 18-22 acts.

I feel for you, in that you are upset your son is not sharing this information with you. I wouldn't worry too much, take it from a student, it's nothing personal, typical teenage propaganda.

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My son (graduated in 2006 and working at a permanent job) told me a friend of his posted a message on his Facebook wall congratulating him on being offered a new job at a great company. He had to quickly remove the post because at that time he did not want his current employer to know that he was considering leaving for the new job. His friend, whom he had told about his offer, did not realize that it was not to be broadcast to the general public and was trying to do something nice by congratulating him on Facebook. But if my son had not quickly removed it and it was seen by the wrong people, he could have been in major trouble with his employers.

I'm not surprised. For some reason folks have a difficult time believing that they are giving up far too much privacy by joining social networks. It is difficult for some people, especially students to understand that these sites (especially facebook) are extremely sneaky with their attempts to reform advertising agenda in order to attempt to blow up much like Google.

reference - Facebook users raise privacy complaints

The concern for privacy has been growing on me, and I wonder how many people have been in trouble due to their privacy being invaded on sites such as Facebook. Folks please consider that any personal information you make available to even one person on one of these websites, can relatively quickly become very visible to just about anyone. BE CAREFUL KIDS!

corranged · 11-26-2007, 04:00 PM

I'm with Chocoholic. At her age, she doesn't need to share details of her life with you; she doesn't need to tell you she's going to a party or sleeping over her boyfriend's or skipping a class. When confronted about these things, she may lie. Is the lying wrong? Maybe. But maybe it's also wrong to expect that sort of information. When my parents call and ask what I'm planning on doing on a Saturday night, I usually tell them something that I plan on doing in the evening and omit whatever my plans are for the night. I guess it's lying, but it's also not information that they need to know.

I also think that Doubleplay is correct. My parents don't think I drink, and I've purposefully led them to believe that because I don't want to be questioned or confronted or lectured about it. A few weeks ago I was probably drugged with some sort of date rape drug, which means that I have essentially no memory of the events that followed, besides a few random moments in time, and even those are very fuzzy. It was a confusing situation since I couldn't really know what had happened. I did not go to the ER or get drug tests, though, because the bill would be sent to my parents and I did not want them to know. I had been drinking that night, and I had been on a date with a girl. They do not know I drink, and they are not comfortable with my homosexuality, and I just didn't want to deal with their reactions to any of it. It's important for parents to understand the degree students will go to keep some things private. Maybe some parents force their children to believe they have to act like this.

Little kids lie about things they feel guilty about. College students lie about things they want to avoid talking about. Is it really necessary that you know whether or not she's drinking at any point in time? If it's not vital information, just let it go. I also think that you should stop peaking at her behind her back. If you want, be open about it and friend her. Among other things, it will probably push her to make her profile more private, which she should do.

UriA702 · 11-26-2007, 04:04 PM

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Next step: consultants to advise kids on how to package their facebooks to impress the coaches! Yikes.

LOL, I wouldn't take bets just yet. The industry Facebook is in is subjected to somewhat of a fickle consumer base. The life span of these companies are simply just too short to serve of much importance. I will be willing to take bets that relatively shortly a new hipper networking site will become available and Facebook's market share will plummet. These sites are just fads.

chocoholic · 11-26-2007, 04:06 PM

eimSD
I would definitely be hurt if my kid drove from a college 220 miles away to attend a party in our hometown, and did not let me know, or come over to see us.

On the other hand, I don't keep tabs on the mileage on our cars, so I would have no idea if my kid drove 500 miles.

corranged · 11-26-2007, 04:28 PM

Ooo, I missed the part of the post that she drove 220 miles to your hometown and was asked about mileage. That goes a step further than what I thought was going on.

eimSD · 11-26-2007, 04:35 PM

We don't normally keep tabs on mileage. We only looked because we already knew about the trip. Used it as an excuse to ask about it, give her an opportunity to tell us about coming down here.

As it's her first new car, and we bought her a package of visits to the dealer for oil changes, every 3,000 miles, my husband was wanting to see if she was due. She was.

Marian · 11-26-2007, 07:14 PM

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I would definitely be hurt if my kid drove from a college 220 miles away to attend a party in our hometown, and did not let me know, or come over to see us.

When I was a freshman in college, I traveled approximately that distance to spend a weekend with my hometown boyfriend (whose parents were conveniently out of town that weekend), without telling my parents that I was in the vicinity.

Of course, if one of my kids did the same thing, I would be very annoyed.

I am really quite the hypocrite.

mkm56 · 11-26-2007, 07:22 PM

My mother (78) is still talking about my brother (49) who drove to hometown about 4 hours drive to go to a party and didn't let my parents know. Of course, they found out a couple weeks later and it is still being brought up at family gatherings!

MotherOfTwo · 11-26-2007, 07:31 PM

I was the furthest thing from wild when in college in the 70's, but I did things similar to what Marian describes and did not tell my parents. We like to think that things are much more open now than in those times (e.g. many young people would hide from their parents that they were living together before marriage, and many still called it "living in sin"), and there is thus no need for our kids not to tell us everything, but I guess some things never change.