neumes

Oh gee, mountains, I'm embarrassed that I'm saving son's Brown rejection letter (along with his other two). His voice teacher is thrilled that he did not get in! It's funny that this choose-the-college time makes me far more anxious than the pre-decision time. Could be because large sums of money and my kid's future are involved.

kitkat82

"It's funny that this choose-the-college time makes me far more anxious than the pre-decision time. Could be because large sums of money and my kid's future are involved."

Absolutely. And my little wretch refuses to even start the discussion because we still need FA on two schools. I need to get my spreadsheet. Knowing him though, he has it all worked out and just isn't saying anything.

rodney

To all who believe that choose the college is far more anxiety producing than pre-decision time....

Boy, do I agree with that.....we basically tied our daughter down to a chair (not really) yesterday afternoon to find out what was swirling around in her head about all of this (and to find out why the Emory waitlist stung sooo much, given that she was accepted into comparable peer schools....)......

I highly recommend a sit-down with your kids.....if they are focused, it will definitely help everyone to sleep better at night........crystalizing the options and discussing the disappointments is enlightening and immensely helpful when you have a kid who has been very non-revealing during the process......

kitkat82

#2 was home with a stomach virus yesterday - so it wasn't the day to go there. He knows its coming though. He has some things he needs to do (phone calls, finding out additional information) and we are missing one critical piece of FA information. We did get FA from one of the schools that we were waiting on that absolutely thrilled me - so it was a very good day from my point of view. Its all coming together. I started my spreadsheet of costs so he can see what it all really means for us.

2blue

Congratulations on the good FA offer, kitkat! For most of us families until that comes in, the vigil isn't over.

2forcollege

I think I'm going to take her back up for a visit to accepted schools. Maybe going back and seeing them through "accepted" eyes will help her make a fully informed decision.

Gah, the WL school (which if had she been accepted to would have made her decision easy) is not taking calls from her recommenders or acknowledging her attempts at showing interest>>>vigil continues, but maybe love shown by other schools will start to have an affect....

mamabear1234

The vigil continues for us until the selection can finally be made. We're going back for visits, including the one school we did not visit at all (but offered the most money). D feels she would be fine at any of them, although there are differences in size, types of campus, location; she really doesn't know where to choose. I am hoping the revisits clarify her feelings, I will help her with pro and con charts, but she is going to have to make this decision herself!

owlice

Going to be one HECK of a party we have here on May 1, I can see that now!

mom2three

For anyone who is on the fence, I know it's a crazy time, but visiting the school with acceptance in hand is SO different than the previous visits. The students REALLY look at the programs, housing, atmosphere and start imagining themselves there.

My DS was really unsure a few years ago. His final choices were all instate, so I sent him on a road trip. Upshot? The school he THOUGHT he wanted to attend didn't have the program he wanted. He's extremely happy at the school he chose (and has not changed his major, three years into college).

Go. Visit. You'll just KNOW.

mountains

H has asked S last weekend to come up with a spreadsheet and list the courses he may want to take at the colleges to allow S to get a better sense of what is available. Of course, this is in addition to how S feels about fit, etc. Has S done it? Nope - too busy. We had to give him an ultimatum. Before investing in any college, we just want to make sure he is aware of the entire academic picture. He has already researched the schools prior to applying but this will allow him to have more details, considering he does not have a clear #1. If I don't see this spreadsheet by this weekend, I'm off to Home Depot to buy some rope ... (thanks for the tip, rodney).

Pre-decision is definitely, definitely more stressful; but I think sending them off will be the worst. Okay, I have to live in the now.

mamabear1234

I think pre-decision was more stressful for me, but now is more stressful for her. She wasn't sweating her decisions, did not seemed phased by the rejections from the 2 reaches, but now is looking hard at catalogs, course selections, housing arrangements, study abroad programs, contacting schools for visits, etc. Suddenly it is more real. There is so much to consider.

CountingDown

S recommends taking notes and pictures if you are going back to visit schools again, so that it's easier to keep track of what's good, bad, etc. He leaves Saturday AM for his first re-visit.

I will start on spreadsheets this weekend.

curiouser

As mamabear said: "I think pre-decision was more stressful for me, but now is more stressful for her."
(Still don't know how to "copy" properly on cc!)

My D (now a college senior) confesssed it was WAY more stressful for her to make the decision. She went through the first week of April in "elimination" mode, crossing some schools off her list. But the last 3...OMG. She simply could not decide. Ultimately went with the one that showed her the most love (ie money). She was a bear to live with in April. Once the decision was made, the clouds lifted, she spoke like a human being again, and all was right with the world.

And then, in August, I was the one who fell apart

mountains

I can just see us - running to the post office on April 30, sending overnight mail for S' deposit - IF we survive this process.

PA Mom

Letters from both of my d's possible choices just came in the mail.
(scholarship amounts) I am on pins and needles waiting for her to come home from school to open them.
EEEEEEE!!!!