CountingDown

What's on the spreadsheet? Am trying to compare apples to apples w/financial aid and how external scholarships, term time work, etc. sort out. It's about the only part of this process where I have any input!

Mainly, though, it's to keep myself busy while he's visiting one of the schools this weekend.

I ought to get working on my Torah reading for next week -- 12 verses in Hebrew and I haven't done much of anything yet.

Peabodie

D got invitations to accepted student receptions at her top 2 schools today. Of course, they are both on the same day, but at least in the same area of the state. The first one, unfortunately, starts at a time when she is already committed to being at another event. She can probably make it to the reception for the last hour, so maybe they won't hold it against her (it's not like it's for prospective students where she might be penalized for being late). Then she can hop in the car and hurry to the other school's reception, and if traffic isn't an issue, she might actually make it on time. What makes this even more interesting is that she is also going to open houses at the schools--one on the day before the receptions, the other on the day after. So, that gives her two events for each school in a period of three days. If she can't make up her mind which she likes best after that, we're definitely going to have her toss a coin!!

Singersmom07

"so maybe they won't hold it against her"

Peabodie time to shift focus! Now she is in the catbird seat. They want her and are wooing her. She gets to let them know under what terms she will consent to be wooed Enjoy the change in perspective.

owlice

LIMOMOF2, I'll bring the cake!

jude_36

We're still debating the revisit. I'm for it, D feels like she just doesn't have time with AP exams coming up, sports, graduation.... after March draggggeeeeeeeddddddddd on, April is flying by! It seems like D is waivering daily though, as she gets tidbits of info she sways this way, then that way...

I have a spreadsheet with costs, gift aid, loans (broken out by subsidized and unsubsidized), etc. That's really for MY use, so that I can see what the net cost is after gift aid, what the total loans over four years might look like, and what I need to come up with. D and I have discussed it, but really, it's mine.

It'll be interesting to see how this ends.

mythmom

jude: It's better than any novel. I can't wait to see where all these kids go either.

We made no accepted students visits at all. It worked out.

BunsenBurner

Spring break is here for our schools! HS senior D is wiped out. She dragged her lifeless body into bed early, decided to surf the net a bit on wifi. I'm looking forward to the visits next week. Should be fun. D keeps getting phone calls from "her" colleges. She feels that she is the driver's seat now.

bethievt

But I think, mythmom, that your kids had visited pre-acceptance and really knew where they wanted to go (and obviously made good choices!). If a kid hasn't visited at all and/or is having trouble deciding, seeing a school through the eyes of an accepted student can be really helpful. Of course, not everyone can visit, due to time or $$. Communicating with current students, studying catalogs, web sites and guide books are all helpful. I guess hanging out here can be helpful, but it's all just a matter of opinion and the only opinion that matters is the student's (outside of financial considerations).

mythmom

Oh bethie, of course it's wonderful to visit. I was just trying to console those whose kids are too busy to visit or can't for some other reason.

I still worry that we didn't go see UofC. It might have been THE ONE. But S didn't even want to apply. That was my bright idea because the admit rate was so much higher.

Well, it did make him happy because it was his first acceptance, EA. But we never did get on that plane. Money mostly.

2forcollege

It's so hard watching my D try to get happy about her other schools. I thought she picked where to apply so carefully and realized what a big reach she was going for with the WL school.

I'm doing everything I can to try to get her to go visit her choices again and she refuses saying it won't make any difference, she knows all she needs to know. My H and I are thinking about overiding her wishes and making her go anyway. Is this a good idea?

calmom

Maybe she really doesn't feel a need to visit... I think you should let go and give her some space right now. You said in earlier posts that she had moved on & was leaning toward U. of Michigan. I'm not too sure that admitted student events at big state U's are worth all that much, especially if she has already visited the campus in the past. Even with a smaller school -- I know that my d. really was not in the mood to visit Barnard after being admitted. She did, but the visit day happened to be her birthday and her heart wasn't in it. She arrived late, left early, and phoned me to tell me all the events were totally boring and to please go ahead and send the deposit ASAP. Sometimes once a decision has been made people really don't feel like drawing things out. (My D. had wanted to attend NYU instead, but the financial aid didn't work out at all there).

I think parents need to give their kids credit for a little bit of common sense and also get past the idea that the kid needs to fall in love with the college. It really is not a marriage -- it's just the place where they will attend school for the next four years. Yes, fit is important, but if a kid makes a decision based on practical reasons rather than emotional ones, it doesn't make it a bad or a wrong decision. It's actually quite possible that some kids will make better decisions by not basing their final choice on what the other prospies were wearing at the admitted student events, or on how bored they were by the speech the Dean of Students gave.

So I would say just let your d. know if there is a deadline she has to meet for you to make the travel arrangements, and otherwise let it go.

mountains

We're fortunate that all of S' colleges (boy, talk about a reversal of roles - it's now colleges that want S vs. colleges that S wants) are within driving distance. I spent a couple of hours mapping out the visits and making hotel reservations. S does not have a clear first choice at this point, so he is actually looking forward to the visits.

LIMOMOF2

Thanks for the offers of future support mythmom and owlice - I can tell that I will have to take you up on them. Yesterday, D found out that one of the superstar seniors at her school was either rejected or waitlisted by all of her schools (except the state u) - and I could tell that she was stunned. She had already seen so many unexpected rejections/waitlists - but this is the first person she knows who was not accepted at at least one of her top choices.

owlice

LIMOMOF2, the lesson I'm taking away from having watched this year is that the crafting of the list of colleges to which one applies is extremely important. Those who apply to all selective schools, and then the state school for a safety, are, I think, positioning themselves for heartache. There are no more "match" colleges, because those, even for a superstar student, are going to get way way more applications than they have seats.

This will likely ease some in the coming years -- not a lot, but some -- but I think creating the list of colleges carefully is vital for an excellent outcome and will remain so.

I've decided that when the time comes for my S, I'm going to tell him that I expect him to get at least three rejections, because if he doesn't, he's played it too safe with schools (assuming that's possible these days!); I hope that will also help him to manage his expectations so that rejections don't hurt quite so much.

My expectations, too.....

Dad II

Is this IT? What a big letdown. You work on this college thing for N years. Suddenly, it is done. You send in some documents, they send back some fat envelopes. Then your DS or DD goes to one of them and that is it.

I can't put this empty feeling in words. I tried and ... ...