cmbmom

Geesh, talk about getting screwed 3 ways to Sunday. The campus security pick him up and turned him over to the town police and notified his college. If he was on a campus how were the town police even involved?

I agree that he does need an attorney now. Can he reply to the pre hearing notice that on the advice on his attorney he requests a delay until the original charges are resolved?

I would also think that PBJ is warrented with a fine and replacement of the extinguisher as more than enough, not to mention attorney fees.

hazmat

Colleges aren't kidding when they have frosh seminars on the rules. They do cover this kind of situation. Most parents have had mailings and of course
access to online code of conduct material. and clearly haven't informed themselves. Apparently you think that local law enforcement should handle all of the alleged college crime? I am unclear on what you opine as a superior method??

1of42

hazmat: Umm.... are you serious? We're not talking about a crime committed on this guy's own campus - in that case, it would be entirely appropriate for the college to be involved. This incident took place in another state, in a place not even remotely close to the jurisdiction the college has responsibility for (i.e. its own campus). Determining the facts of that crime is the responsibility of the local judicial system, not the kid's original college.

Yes, I think exactly what you said - that this student's college should allow the local judicial system to run to its conclusion (and I would always think this to be the superior method, except when students are suspected to pose a clear and present danger to others on the original campus as a result of the crime committed - not the case here), and if he is found guilty, discuss possible on-campus outcomes then. I am of the opinion that the college has no place trying to act as some kind of arbiter/judge for an alleged infraction that took place in an entirely different jurisdiction. I think they have neither the ability nor the responsibility to act in anyone's best interest in that kind of case. Do you disagree?

chocoholic

Well, most college handbooks probably have a section on off-campus behavior, even in another state. To me, its ridiculous.

So he has to go before a Student Judiciary or something. I don't know if a citation is considered to be a criminal charge, but I dont think so. Hopefully his own college will consider the facts of his being an exemplary student, an elected officer and a kid who, according to himself, has never missed a single class.

Ugh, what a nasty situation. I just told my own children the whole story, except who it happened to, just because you would never think that these things can spiral so out of control.

hazmat

1of42Clearly the cited student must have provided his student identification or somehow informed the arresting officer of his student status. What did this kid not understand prior to his citation? That was my point. What a reciprocity policy is and how it is regulated are not for my opinion really. My suggestion is know the rules. Know the law.

As for across state lines. My undergrad institution was near state lines for several states. Students cross the lines for socializing, buying alcohol, gambling and many other activities which lead to law breaking.

As others have stated, a local attorney is of the most help in these situations.

paying3tuitions

I'm imagining myself in your shoes, choc, and as a godmother. Especially since he's planning to plead not guilty, he needs a lawyer so he will actually stand a chance of winning in court. The lawyer might also dissuade him from that plea position, and he should LISTEN to his lawyer on how to plead.

Compliment him on not signing the police statement if he saw big errors in it. Tell him he handled himself pretty well once he realized he was in trouble. If they didn't "let" him talk, he's lucky because "anything he said might be used against him in court," right? Maybe the police were actually helping him protect his Miranda rights..just wondering. How unusual for the police to do such, and if they did, LUCKY they didn't let him "speak."

I'd like to see him grow up from this moment. Can you tell him he had a different choice when walking with his friends, of turning and departing from them as soon as they began to carry the fire extinguisher? Or the choice ofr not taking the booze his dad stupidly supplied.

If he wants to handle it himself and then someday inform parents of the result, he is in a way trying to show maturity, not evade his parents.

So talk to him about how he will finance his OWN attorney fees. Let him become very responsible here. At the point he's already hired the lawyer and made a payment plan with the lawyer (summer job that he didn't expect to perform this summer?), then he might feel it's more in hand and can tell his parents what's happened more like a young adult than a baby.

Those are my thoughts.

1of42

hazmat: Not disputing that the student had probably been informed of his rights and responsibilities by his school at some point, and I'm sure this kind of thing was set down pretty clearly there. That does not, however, mean I think it is right to run this kind of basically ridiculous double jeopardy. Let the police and courts handle it, and then pick up from there if necessary - that's my opinion.

nngmm

Maybe you could talk to his parents for him (with his permission, of course).

The parental reaction might be less emotional and more rational if they hear the story from you?..

ellemenope

>>I feel really sorry, as this kid is so clean<<

This is a good (and in the long run, cheap) lesson on being very careful about the company you keep.

Hunt

Um, I hate to say this, but, it doesn't seem to me that he is innocent. In fact, he was drinking underage and he was with a group that stole a fire extinguisher...and he was caught holding it. He should count his blessings that he wasn't charged with theft. I agree with the advice to hire a lawyer, but I suspect the lawyer will advise him to pay the fines.

MomofWildChild

The issue isn't just whether or not to pay the fines, it's HOW to pay the fines and keep it off his record or get probation.

doubleplay

Unless there is something so dysfunctional about this family that can't be reconciled- I'd tell him to talk to his mom and dad, offer to help, or offer to talk to his parents for him. It's sad that a child would have to go through all this alone. Or... you're liable to end up the person in-the-middle. If the family situation is so poor that something like this can't be told to mom or dad... shudder... as godparent, you must have the respect of his parents. This is your hour.

Granny

The attorney needs to be carefully chosen. You need to either tell his parents or act as the parent yourself - don't leave it up to a kid to pick an attorney unless you are sure he knows what he is doing.

northeastmom

Sounds to me like he really does need to talk to his parents. Isn't he going to need some financial help from them (even it is in the form of a loan) to pay for the attorney plus the other costs involved in this mess (ie: fines)?

I don't blame him for not wanting to tell his parents. We know someone who got into trouble for "public drunkeness". He did tell mom and dad, and they did hire an attorney. Yes, mom did have a hysterical initial reaction (frankly I really don't blame her, and I would have a similar reaction), but it all worked out. Kiddo had to pay a few hundred for a class about alcohol or something like that, and he had to do a certain number of hours of community service. I don't know who paid for the lawyer. My guess is that parents laid out the money and kiddo is paying all or some portion back to mom and dad.

paying3tuitions

Well, if the godmother thinks he should talk to the parents, she could play out her role as godmother by advising him that he is growing up. He made a mistake, so now it's time to deal with the mistake as an adult. Hearing out the angry parental reaction is one of the consequences of his action, and somethjing you can assure him he can endure. He'll just have to get through that unpleasant but temporary consequence (their upset) in order to have a better longterm outcome of having a lawyer.

In other words, can you lay this out for him like a decision tree: if he tells them, then this, this and that will happen. If he doesn't tell them, then this, this, and the other will happen.

I'm concerned only that he'll not tell the parents, decide to plead not guilty (which may not be the best plea), not hire a lawyer because he's a kid who doesn't know his resources, and then lose the case.

Does he have a savings account to pay for his own attorney? I really think a lot of this is that he needs a lawyer, and you as godmother need to urge him to take responsible steps to get a lawyer, either by financing one himself (through savings) and thus avoid telling the parents, OR be willing to take the anger from the parents to tell them (and hope they'll pay for the lawyer). Lay it out for him, and then let him decide. I think that's treating him more like the adult that he is.