vicariousparent

kristin: Thank you for teaching me a new word: Heterosexism. I love it, it is perfect.

kristin5792

Anytime, vicarious! An aspect of heterosexism that I was completely unaware of is heterosexual privilege. I've seen white privilege used as a tool for helping white people identify with people of color, so seeing the same methodology applied to the heterosexual/homosexual experience was really interesting. Here are a few examples of heterosexual privilege:

You can go somewhere knowing that you won't be harassed, beaten, or killed due to your sexuality.
You can express affection in public without expecting hostile reactions from others.
You can acknowledge your partner without fearing that people will disapprove or think you're being "blatant."
You can marry someone you love and receive tax breaks, health and insurance coverage, and spousal benefits such as next-of-kin.
You can belong to whatever religious organization you desire and know that your sexuality will not be denounced by respected leaders.
You can expect to see people of your sexuality represented positively in the media.

I also found it interesting to take what are typically homophobic or heterosexist comments/questions and turn them back around onto people that identify as heterosexual. They seem pretty crazy, don't you think?

"What do you think caused your homosexuality?"
"What do you think caused your heterosexuality?"
"Is it possible that your homosexuality is just a phase you'll outgrow?"
"Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase you'll outgrow?"
"Why do homosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?"
"Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?"

My favorites:
"Why are there so few stable relationships among homosexuals?"
"Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?"
"There seem to be very few happy homosexuals. Techniques have been developed so you could change if you wanted to. Have you considered aversion therapy?"
"There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed so you could change if you wanted to. Have you considered aversion therapy?"

Unrelated to homophobia and heterosexism, the youtube video "Homosexuality: is it a choice?" (top option) is a really light hearted yet informative clip (from For the Bible Tells Me So) about current medical perspectives.

mini

My campus in the dark ages had more than a few closeted gay people, and and average of two suicides among them per year. I was pretty obtuse, though, and it was only later that I realized why they were killing themselves.

sanjenferrer

What do you mean gay relationships are unstable, specifically in comparison to heterosexual relationships?

Northstarmom

"My observation of gays is that they have a need to flaunt it and it makes non-gays uncomfortable."

Considering the public displays of affection that one can see many places where heteros congregate, gays could say that heteros flaunt their sexual preference.

sanjenferrer

For every gay guy you encounter who's loud, there are others who aren't loud and are, in fact, closeted. You see only the loud ones and associate it with the culture because they're more visible.

The concept of gay pride, I think, is a defense mechanism. It's like saying "no more homophobia! we want to embrace who we are." It's to celebrate the bravery of those who've decided to accept themselves despite being GLBT.

Applejack, I don't know where you live but at the top universities, such things are unheard of.

EDIT: I was responding to a comment about gays being loud and touching other men. The poster deleted his comment.

sueinphilly

I have never been anti-gay. I was oblivious that there was even such a thing as homosexual while growing up in the 60's and 70s. I was so clueless that I didn't realize that musicians such as Elton John or Freddy Mercury (from Queen) were gay.

I truly didn't realize what exactly homosexual was until the whole Aids thing happened (remember when there was a diet food called Aids).

My brother (in his 40's now) is gay. And always has been. I guess I should have realized the fact that all those girls calling him and him not being interested in them was a sign of something.

I think my brother did officially 'come out' but I pretty much always knew of his sexuality. I think I might be a little jealous of him. His relationships have been much more stable than mine (with heterosexual men). Oh and I would love to have a latin (from El Salvador I think) lover like my brother. Why are some gays so damn sexy!