Were you ever anti-homosexual when you were younger?

sanjenferrer · 05-05-2008, 12:53 AM

And did your attitudes change with time? When did it change, if ever, and what made it change? "Anti-homosexual" includes saying "faggot" and using "gay" negatively, even in jest, to go along with friends who dislike homosexuality and homosexuals/queers.

BedHead · 05-05-2008, 12:59 AM

I used to use the term "faggot" not pejoratively specifically meant against gays, but against guys who had tastes I thought were lame or girly. Then one time I said it in front of a housemate, though not about him, and I could see him visibly tense up. I asked and found out he was gay. I felt badly and never used the term after that.

Why to you ask?

sanjenferrer · 05-05-2008, 01:21 AM

I'm trying to see how smart people back then (when homosexuality was still considered unacceptable by the vast majority) felt about homosexuality. When were you in college, BedHead?

Northstarmom · 05-05-2008, 02:00 AM

I was never antihomosexual, and always had a bad opinion of people who were. My mom, who was born in 1915, told me when I was young that guys who disliked and made fun of homosexuals had problems with their own masculinity.

When I was single, I was sorry when hot guys were gay. My reaction was due to my lost opportunity, not to negative feelings about gays.

Although I had a good friend in college and a college roommate who were lesbians, they were both closeted, and I didn't knowingly meet my first lesbian until I was in my early 30s and someone came out at a place where I was working. Never made fun of lesbians or had a bad opinion of them.

I currently have a very diverse group of friends including gays, lesbians and transgendered people.

originaloog · 05-05-2008, 05:32 AM

I was never anti-homosexual and in fact counted Bruce Vilanch one of my friends freshman year in college. He was way out of the closet in 1965. While we were not roommates we were floor mates in Stradley Hall that year.

mommusic · 05-05-2008, 05:50 AM

In HS I didn't know any (that I knew of, I mean), and in college (Conservatory) there were so many I thought it was a shame so many cute and nice guys were out of the pool, but no, never anti-homosexual.

In HS it is true that rude guys routinely used certain words as blanket insults, but they also used racially charged insults and I wasn't about that either.

lderochi · 05-05-2008, 06:39 AM

I was very much a product of my time and place (semi-rural south) and was definitely anti-homosexual. Not running around rolling gay people or anything, but definitely made the derogatory comments.

I started changing in college where I met more people. And it all changed when my best friend, and one of the best persons I've ever known, came out to me.

owlice · 05-05-2008, 06:49 AM

Never anti-gay; I had gay friends in high school (class of '75; yeah, I'm old.

). I've never understood homophobia.

bulletandpima · 05-05-2008, 06:56 AM

I was never anti gay since my cousin is one and I grew up knowing, without ever being told(our family never talked about it)...one day the lightbulb went on and I realized she was gay. I think for men it is different, and we call it youthful inexperience. Many young people are not anti-gay, they just have the fear that homosexuals will hit on them so they send very loud messages out of that fear. As they mature they realize that their fear in unjust and they stop their behavior.

As I have stated many people will change, but you must also realize to many people their life is very rooted in their religious beliefs. They use thiis belief to defend their verbal attacks. You cannot say they are stupid or intellectually inferior, they are just ignorant and there is a large difference between the two. Just as you have your beliefs, they do too and both sides will be entrenched in the opinion they are correct.
That might be hard to read, but honest opinion usually is going to hurt if the answer is not what you want to hear

jym626 · 05-05-2008, 06:57 AM

^^ HS class of 75? You are a youngster, owlice!
I've had lots of gay friends- some whe were open about it in HS/college, some who were not. I have always been very comfortable with their sexuality. It was a non-issue. I remember a classmate saying once that she was disappointed when she found out some guy she liked was gay. She said "what a waste". I found that offensive. It isn't a "waste", especially to those he loves and who love him. Her comment struck me a s shallow.

Once, in grad school, a bunch of us were going ot go to see the SE regional Drag queen contest. My BF refused to go. I wondered which was more bothersome to him- if guys were interested in him, or if they weren't! We went, He didn't. It was a fun time!

bulletandpima · 05-05-2008, 07:07 AM

A little off topic, but I find it ineresting that society seems to be more acceptable to lesbians in gay relationships than men. At least that is how I have seen it.

momofnewP · 05-05-2008, 07:21 AM

Also class of '75. Never was anti-homosexual. I remember my aunt confusing homosexuality with pedophilia when I was a teenager. I tried to clarify the difference, but to no avail.

garland · 05-05-2008, 07:48 AM

Class of '76. Never anti-gay, always had gay friends.

Get real annoyed when I hear younger folk using the term "gay" (as in "that's sooo gay") in a generically negative way. And i tell them so.

3bm103 · 05-05-2008, 07:53 AM

I grew up catholic and remember wondering what on earth the church had against gays. I think that's the main reason people are against it. Until they mature enough to form their own opinions. I can't imagine a god that would have anything against love with whoever a person chose.

epiphany · 05-05-2008, 08:01 AM

No, to the OP's question. for the simple reason that 2 events coincided -- one of which I see by the trends above also converts people of previous bias: My even learning what homosexuality was coincided with meeting the kind partner of a relative. I had no opportunity to form a negative general bias before encountering a particular person.

Slightly OT though, Is it just me or are other people noticing people suddenly coming out on Facebook, first thing, when enrolling in college. These are all females I'm thinking of. Saw absolutely no indications of this pre-college; would never have guessed about a single one of these. Suddenly all these people have declared themselves lesbians and "engaged to" so-and-so (or, alternatively, "in a relationship"). Again, these are people I know very, very well, in some cases for 13 years.