Youdon'tsay

Oh, Hunt, a million thanks for the hint to not mention atheism! Seriously.

I'm excited because things are coming together for my son and his project. There is a chance he'll actually get done this summer!

I stay out of the whole Scout thing in our family -- which is why it's not done by now. But I guess I should educate myself about at least the process. I have managed to save programs and napkins from other ceremonies/parties and kept a mental inventory of what I'll have to do to throw the party. Aren't I supposed to get the president to send him a letter or something?????

Hunt

You can find lots of useful info at:

USSSP: Eagle Scouts

Hunt

Just a further word about atheism: it is possible that somebody on the Board will ask about a boy's religious beliefs, or how he exhibits "reverence" in his daily life. BSA recognizes any religion, of any denominiation, and even if it's very vague. About the only thing that will create a problem is a clearly expressed adherence to atheism. Of course, if a boy really is an atheist, he may have to deal with the consequences of that. But if he's able to say that he believes in a higher power, even if he can't define exactly what it is, and that he shows "reverence" by, for example, acting morally, or taking care of the earth, he will be ok.

Youdon'tsay

I think he'll be able to handle it. Because of who we, his parents, are he's been exposed to a wide range of religions, but we don't regularly attend any single church. But I'll make sure he is prepared for that kind of question.

Is this Board of Review people from our troop, or strangers? Everyone in our troop knows where we depart from Scout philosophy and still love us. And they'd never hold our views against our perfectly wonderful son. But, truthfully, our troop is a bunch of renegades anyway -- we actually have a kid with two moms, so, yeah, our troop tends to downplay much of what might be considered "traditional" Scouting, if you know what I mean.

Youdon'tsay

Thanks for that link. He'll flip if I request a letter from George Bush, so I might wait on that until the fall and get the incumbent

Dh and son have some kind of Eagle binder with lots of info, I just haven't looked through it. He's getting excited about his project and, since he can't take summer classes this year, I'm hoping to get it behind us before the grind of junior year.

Hunt

Eagle Boards are run differently in different places. In many places, nobody on the Board will know your son at all. I will suggest to you that the Eagle Board is probably not the place to air your family's disagreement with BSA on religion and homosexuality. The Board won't ask about your views, but they may ask about his, especially about religion. If he says he doesn't believe in God at all, they may reject him, and he won't win that appeal, either. (If a scout says that he's gay, that would also cause him to be rejected, by the way.) There are lots of people inside and outside of Scouting who disagree with these and other policies, but BSA is free to manage its own membership as it wishes. Some of these things may change over time, as they have in other countries, but I'd hate for any particular boy to be put in the middle of those disputes.

missypie

Thanks for the link. What do you do with all those addresses-just say my kid just made Eagle, please congratulate him?

My son is a straight Presbyterian, so that's a couple of issues we won't have to worry about.

Don't know if we'll have a ceremony or reception-can't imagine who would come. Sometimes when you're a kid without a lot of friends, it's better to not have the party than to have the party and have no one show.

curiouser

missypie;
For our son's Eagle ceremony, we doubled up with another scout (a neighbor and friend) of his. So it became a joint ceremony--we then had two families with people to invite to make sure we actually had guests!

We also held the ceremony during his high school graduation weekend, which allowed relatives to come who were in town anyway. Both boys had actually earned their Eagles months before. It worked out GREAT for us to share the event--took alot of stress having two families split costs, work out details, etc. I'd highly recommend the "double ceremony" route. It was also appealing to the boys, neither of whom really wanted ANY ceremony at all.
This way, they were "on stage" together, rather than highlighted. My S in particular, hates having attention drawn to him.

Even the boys, once it was over, agreed that they were really glad they did it. To be honest, it turned out to be an emotionally rewarding ceremony for all who were there. Both boys' dads were also extremely active in the troop and were teary-eyed. I'll never forget that day and the wonderful little speech S gave (MY son? who knew?)

Don't skip the ceremony. You'll remember it forever and more importantly, so will your son.

2VU0609

S's troop is the oldest in our state and the trappings of all the ceremonies, whether regular Court of Honor or Eagle Ceremony, were very traditional. I don't recall anyone requesting letters of congratulations, but there may have been a troop leader who took care of this. We did have to pay for the flags that were presented that had flown over the Capitol. A nice feature in our troop was that parents were recognized for their support and the dads received small pins and the mothers, who had been receiving small pins for each rank advancement, were presented with the ribbon including these pins, along with the new Eagle pin by their sons.
Our troop had an Eagle ceremony only once each year and it was like planning a small wedding. We bought the invitations from BSA and had them printed, along with programs. All the former den mothers and several teachers were included. Thank goodness there were three other Scouts being recognized so their families could share in the work of organizing the reception which followed! curiouser is right - the more the merrier when it comes to sharing the duties of an Eagle ceremony. A wonderful occasion!

Lafalum84

We had no say whatsoever in our S's Eagle Ceremony. Troop does it once or twice a year, usually during Christmas holiday, when the host organization can arrange it. We were given no input as to the date. They honor multiple boys at a time (my son's had 4). The ceremony included dinner. But with just the troop and parents, and family members of 4 boys the ceremony was quite crowded. It was a nice ceremony, but exactly like every other one our troop has ever done. Which was fine with me, because I've tried to "stay out" of Scout stuff and leave it to my son and sometimes DH.

Can your son have his ceremony with other troop members? Also, if you just invite family and the adults who have helped him to achieve this milestone, you'll have a number of people there.

Good luck, and congratulations!

Hunt

You may be surprised how many people you end up inviting, and how many will attend. Think about people who have helped your son along the way, in school, sports, music lessons, etc. Many of those people have an emotional investment in your son, and will surprise you by wanting to come.

mommusic

Hunt: My D and I went to a ceremony when her HS boyfriend became an Eagle Scout. His mother & I joked about how he was such a cliche of a Boy Scout. Really nice kid.

missypie

It might work to have the ceremony the same weekend has HS graduation next year. Of course by then the troop might have forgotten who he was. As mentioned, his best friends in the troop are only 1st class so no sharing a ceremony with them....the other boys his age either made Eagle a while ago and never attend or gave up a while ago. But who knows? I won't rule out a ceremony but I'll see if my son wants one.

It's hard to convey the dislike we have for the current troop leadership....how hollow for those folks who obstructed his progress, rather than helped him along, to shake his hand and congratulate him at his ceremony.

Lafalum84

Missypie, your S over came many more obstacles than most! Not only Asperger's but an unsupportive troop leadership.

I also had many disagreements with how our troop was run - we had an authoritarian Scoutmaster who had been with the troop for more than 10 years, and it was his way or the highway. When I wanted S to request recommendation letters in the spring so his teachers wouldn't be trying to do them at the same time they were doing college letters, and wanted to get all the Eagle stuff out of the way before fall of Sr year so we could concentrate on college stuff, he sent out a letter to the entire troop listing all the Eagles we've had in the last 10 years (a lot) and that all of them had done things the same way and in the same order, and stating that "some people who don't understand the rules" were expecting special exceptions for their own convenience, but that it wouldn't be allowed. I was LIVID. S & I read the entire Eagle handbook and understood the rules perfectly well - it just wasn't the order or timing the Scoutmaster wanted, but it was all within the rules. S ended up getting recommendations and completing paperwork in Sept of Sr year when he definitely had better things to be doing. I knew another Mom who YELLED at the scoutmaster because he dragged his feet so long that it took her son 6 extra months to start his project and his grandfather died before he made Eagle. I also knew 2 other families who switched to a different troop because they were determined to finish Eagle before senior year and they knew this Scoutmaster wouldn't let them. Funny though, one kid whose dad was on the Troop committee was allowed to make Eagle as a sophomore. Hmmmm.....

The sad part - S loved the hiking and camping. But he was so fed up with the Scoutmaster that once he made Eagle, the only time he went back was for the next year's Eagle ceremony. He has had no contact with the troop since then. Kind of a shame.

missypie

Thanks for your support. Sad that there are troops like that. For years, only the sons of the scoutmaster and the assistant scoutmaster have made Eagle.

I know that there are many terrific and supportive troops out there. We just didn't find one.