zoosermom

I am absolutely steaming and am posting here to prevent myself from picking up the phone and making a call before I calm down.

Zoosersister is taking the AP Euro exam today. She is prepared and passionately in love with the subject matter. I wasn't worried and she wasn't either until her gosh-darn teacher sent an email to the entire class telling them that this is the hardest test in the history of the world, they're all slackers and they're all going to fail. Now I understand his frustration. Many of the kids in the class shouldn't have been there. There was a lot of slacking, a lot of cheating and a lot of just not up to the material. However, that wasn't the case for every student, and there is a group of kids who did their best and would be expected to succeed. This teacher is an excellent teacher whose hands were a bit tied by the administration in dealing with the kids who didn't belong there, and my daughter has learned a lot from him. He also gave her a truly spectacular rec for a unique and prestigious summer program. I don't want to burn bridges, but I think the email was inappropriate and it freaked my daughter out. She is a natural test-taker (really) who's never worried about a test in her life, but hearing from him that failure was the only possible outcome sent her into hysterics. She is the farthest thing from a drama queen, but I don't see how she goes in there and does well now, after staying up all night and talking herself out of succeeding. Trust me on this, she was diligent in preparing for the exam and did a great job in the class, but his email just wiped her out. Arrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NYMomof2

I am so sorry, zooser! That is awful! I can't believe the teacher sent such a message. He has ensured that all the students will do worse than they would have otherwise! And the message came so late that there was no time to repair the damage. If she has not gone to school yet, try pointing out that she has done well on the practice tests, that she knows the material, and that she is not the average kid in the class, and that the email was meant for the slackers/cheaters, not for her.

Keeping my fingers crossed!

alwaysamom

zoosermom, I'm sorry that your D had to go into an important exam feeling this way. I cannot imagine why a teacher would send such an email. It's inexcusable, in my opinion, it doesn't matter how frustrated he was! I'm curious how long he has been teaching. I am not one who usually speaks in generalities but I happened to be talking to my D, who is a teacher, last night. She was telling me about a difficult situation that presented itself at school with a particularly challenging student, and how a very experienced (and retired, who was subbing) teacher profoundly mishandled it. My D is in her second year of teaching. Our conversation turned to experience and different methods and that sometimes you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Sometimes even experienced teachers make very bad decisions.
I hope that your D was able to overcome her worry and was able to do well on her exam.

fendrock

zmom, at times living with my daughter is like walking through a mine field, and it drives me nuts when an outsider does the emotional equivalent of throwing a grenade directly into the living room.

If zsis knows of the teacher's frustration, maybe you could suggest some student set him off and he sent the e-mail off while he was steaming/angry.

Of course, I find that I am useless in helping my daughter calm down when she is upset, but maybe you'll have better luck.

somemom

It might be helpful to the teacher to be aware of Zs's reaction, it was no doubt NOT directed towards her and the other students like her, but the teacher should have made it clear that some students were focused and are likely prepared.

cmbmom

I am sorry for your daughter and the other students who applied themselves in the class. I do not care if the teacher is frustrated, I think that email was totally unprofessional and I would tell him so.

07DAD

http://www.collegeboard.com/prod_dow...AL_Summary.xls

National mean score for AP European History in 2007 was 2.77 and for females it was 2.66. Check out the college board website. It has 2007 summary of AP scores broken down by course subject, state, sex, race, public or private school and HS year taken.

If you can, show her the teacher was wrong.

LIMOMOF2

zoosermom - I am so sorry that happened to your D. I can imagine my D reacting the same way. She is a good test-taker - but to be told by her teacher that the whole class was going to fail a few hours before the exam would really freak her out. Hopefully, all the prep she did will come back to her while she's taking the exam.

As far as the teacher goes, what he did was completely unprofessional. If he felt that some students were not taking the course/exam seriously, he should have pulled those students aside and not sent out an email to the entire class. I'm sure you are finding it hard not to report him or at least confront him about what he did. My D is the type who would try to handle it herself. If it was a teacher she had a relationship with, she would probably ask him why he sent out that email to the entire class and explain how it made her feel. If it was a teacher she didn't have a relationship with, I'm not quite sure whether she would say anything or want me to make an issue out of it - but I do think the teacher should know how his actions influence his students, so if she didn't want to talk to the teacher, I probably would. Whether I reported it to the higher-ups would depend on the teacher's reaction.

CountingDown

ZM,
I think the most effective reposonse to this teacher's email would come from your D. He clearly knows her well and likes her; this puts her in a position to be able to say, "when you sent that email, it made me feel like you devalued all the work I've done in your class, etc."

She'd be standing up for herself and all of those who *do* care about the class and the exam, and it points out to the teacher that his actions had (unintended) consequences.

As a parent, I'd be plenty steamed about his lack of professionalism, but it's your D who feels wronged -- let her own the feelings and response. I would suggest that she writes the email, saves it as a draft, and sends it -- tomorrow -- when she has cooled down.

latetoschool

And/but - this is a learning opportunity for her; people, even very highly educated, well meaning people send inappropriate or illiterate email every now and then. That doesn't excuse it but it may help if perhaps your daughter consider's the teachers position - the end of the school year, s/he is probably tired by now, frustrated, and who knows how many priorities are competing for time and attention.

That doesn't mean it's appropriate to have an emotional ejaculation in email to students, but, in the cold, single dimension of email, in the absence of personal communication, messages can actually read far worse than how they were intended. Someday she will receive an email like this from a boss or colleague; she may even send a few like this herself. This is terrific time to tell her how to handle these things that appear in one's inbox: don't take it out of context; the teacher is addressing a large group and not one student; the teacher is experiencing other stress factors right now, possibly personal as well as professional; the teacher is not specifically trained in communications and email protocol in the way that someone in private industry is trained; email is often misused because it is so easy to write a flame and click "send"; and so on.

In other words, I am sure you have already thought of this, but use it as an opportunity to tell her not to become overly invested in one inappropriate email, and, view this as an example - as she enters a profession, don't ever send email like this, and, if tempted to do so, write it, save it as a draft, and sleep on it first.

LIMOMOF2

latetoschool - that was very good advice. Thank you. I know it wasn't my issue, but it's good to have that perspective, because as you said, we have all either sent or received, or will send or receive similar emails.

zoosermom - I just remembered something D told me the other day. She said that while she was meeting with her Euro teacher, (she had missed the teacher's review session because she was at a state competition), another student came in to ask the teacher for help. D said the other student brought a 3-page list of facts that she wanted the teacher to go over with her. The teacher took a look at the first page, got a look of disgust on her face, and crumpled up the page, then asked the student for the other two sheets and crumpled them up. She then handed them back to the student and told her to throw them away. D said the other girl looked like she was going to cry. Now, I realize that bringing a three page list of facts to a teacher and expecting her to go over everything is ridiculous - especially in Euro where the explanations of the facts can be found pretty easily - but I thought the teacher's reaction was inappropriate, especially knowing the other student is an exceptionally hard working girl. D was a little surprised by the teacher's reaction as well - but since it didn't happen to her, she didn't say anything. My point to all this is, maybe the AP Euro teachers got a look at the exam and were feeling some stress of their own? Not that that is an excuse for inappropriated behavior

aibarr

Seconding LTS.

I dunno. I was always one of those "oh no Mom PLEASE don't say anything…" students. (This may have been because in seventh grade, our history teacher quit in the middle of the year because it was too stressful a job for her, and while I sat outside the classroom, my mom gave the poor young woman a very impressive talking-to, complete with some very audible sobs from my teacher… I was horrified when my teacher emerged, tears streaming down her face, and said, "Your mother is an amazing woman..." Oh no, Mom, PLEASE don't say anything…!!!) So, perhaps I'm reverting to my knee-jerk reaction.

Everybody's stressed at this time of year. I used to be head of a student group that had a thirty-person staff, and I'd regularly get e-mails from one very stressed-out student, CC'd to the entire staff list and the faculty director, expounding for paragraph after paragraph about how whatever had set him off was terrible and was my fault and how the leadership of the organization was completely incompetent and blah blah blah. I know he didn't mean it, and he'd always apologize in his own way once he'd calmed down, but he just had an overactive trigger finger when it came to heated e-mails. (He later sent off a heated e-mail in support of my getting the organization's major student award, threatening this, that, and the other if I didn't receive it, so I know he thinks I'm an okay gal!) After a while, we instituted the policy of "write it, wait an hour, re-read it, and THEN send" with him, and things worked out much better for everyone involved. E-mail arguments can escalate oh-so-quickly...

I'm sure the teacher will feel awful once he realizes the implications that e-mail had for your daughter. I think that maybe after the test is over and that the stress has died down a little bit, that your daughter should go in to him and say that his e-mail really stressed her out before the test. Hopefully, this'll give him a chance to apologize, though I know it won't help your daughter too much before the exam.

What a stinky situation for zoosersister. =(

zoosermom

Thanks for the advice and sympathy. I'm going to wait till she gets home before I consider doing anything. If it turns out that she put it behind her and got into the zone, I'm going to use it as a life lesson about what not to do. Thankfully, she was able to articulate that he is a great teacher who's been ill-treated this year.

paying3tuitions

Wondering if you saw the actual email. When teachers decide to ream out an entire class, if they're halfway wise, they'll preface the comment with, "Although some of you have prepared extremely well, many of you have not..etc." Sometimes in the heat of things, if a class has just walked boisterously back to class for example, I began to say, "You really embarrassed yourselves out there..." but a mere look at the faces of a handful of okay-niks would remind me to say the formulaic, "Of course, some of you comported yourselves well and you know who you are, thank you. But as for the rest..." Blah blah. If the teacher's email has such a catch-all phrase anywhere in it, teach your D in the future to look for that and identify herself with the positive minority. If he didn't, he must have missed a few classes at teachers' college, no matter when he attended. That stuff is basic.

Besides all of that, the time to express those sentiments was NOT by email, in any event. If he wants his class (even the slackers) to do well, he has to teach with all his might and the night before send out a very optimistic note if anything at all. Guided imagery and all of that (sports coaches know to do this).

He might have even wanted to sabotage the class outcome to prove to admin that he shouldn't have been burdened with a mixed-motivation class, so it doesn't happen again next year. The place for that is in calm discussion with administration, however. For students, a teacher should always wish them well, and hope/pray that the students will prove his overall low opinion of the class wrong.

Just some thoughts. Understand I'm NOT justifying the teacher's email as described in your OP. I thought it was appalling...and just wanted you (or ZS) to check it again for that formulaic loophole that says to the "good students" hey, I know you're there too.

Treetopleaf

Well, I hope she proves the teacher wrong!