| Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 111
| Well, we're back from two wonderful weeks in Rome. And all turned out fine with respect to the specific subject of this thread, too. I thought I'd share some thoughts on the trip that I posted on another message board (edited to take out my son's name!):
J. and I, during our 9 1/2 hour plane flight home on Sunday, compiled a fairly random list, in no particular order, of about 40 things we noticed in Rome that struck us as particularly distinctive, or particularly different from New York City (even though NYC is perhaps the most European of major U.S. cities), and/or particularly different from what we expected. (Not including what we thought of the specific ancient and Renaissance art, ruins, museums, churches, etc., which were, of course, the primary purpose and highlight of our trip. You should see the list J. made, also on the plane coming home, from memory, of everything we did and saw each day. It astonishes me how long it is. Although I honestly didn't feel the least bit overwhelmed. I have a fairly endless appetite for this kind of thing, as does J.)
1. Everyone said that Rome would be beastly hot in August. But it wasn't the temperature (probably averaging about 85, with low humidity) as much as it was the burning, intense, omnipresent sun. For 10 consecutive days after we got there, there was not one single cloud in the sky. (The last few days, there were a handful of them.) And there was virtually no wind, except in the narrower streets. The sun gets intense very early, and stays that way until nightfall. There are no tall buildings to shade you from the sun, and the broad, treeless piazzas -- as well as places like the Roman Forum --can be almost unbearable. (There are far fewer trees in Rome in general, except in a few areas like parts of the Trastavere on the other side of the Tiber, than there are in New York or, for example, London.) The exceptions were when we were in the areas with narrow, crooked, medieval streets with the buildings hanging right over you. There, there's blessed relief. Shade and breezes.
Other than that, I was sometimes reminded of that Twilight Zone episode in which (at least in the first half!) the earth was moving closer to the sun.
This was all especially difficult for me given my health situation of absorbing water and salt very poorly given the absent colon [removed years ago in surgery for Crohn's Disease], so no matter how much bottled water I drank, I was often severely dehydrated, to the point of almost collapsing late last Friday afternoon right after we crossed the ancient Roman footbridge (renovated during the Renaissance) to the island in the midst of the Tiber. Not one step further could I go; we had to find a restaurant that was already open for dinner, not an easy task.
We did, of course, try our best to be in airconditioned museums, or otherwise indoors, during the hottest part of the day.
Still, much as I loved Rome, and as wonderful a time as I had, I don't think I'm going there in August again!
2. No ginger ale to be had in all of Rome. Bummer. (As those of you who've observed my "drinking" habits would understand!) [my favorite beverage since early childood!]
3. Vending machines on the street, dispensing beer and hard liquor to all and sundry.
4. No "open container" laws. People hanging out drinking, everywhere.
5. With a legal drinking age of 16 in Italy, J. was able to order a glass of wine at dinner several times, with aplomb. Although he always asked me if he could, and always said "OK" on the occasions when I didn't think it was a good idea. (He may be "legal" in Italy, and he may be 18, but despite some grumbling, he still almost always ends up listening when I say "no" to something. Besides, I was paying!)
6. Fountains everywhere -- some, Renaissance era -- dispensing cold, clean, delicious water. Not like water fountains in New York parks, with their strong metallic aftertaste. And constructed in a way that you can just as easily dunk your head or stick your feet in the water, as drink it. Very welcome!
7. An alarming number of public bathrooms with toilets that had no seats. Apparently, you're expected simply to perch on the edge of the toilet bowl. Something that would probably get you committed if you did it in the US, at least if you admitted it in polite company! After some initial reluctance, and always making sure of reasonable cleanliness, I went ahead and did it. Porcelain is porcelain, right? Plus, I've never been good at hovering.
8. Old cobblestone streets -- perhaps 80 or 90% of the streets we were on, except the newest ones, were still paved with cobblestone. I still remember when all of Second Avenue in Manhattan was paved with cobblestones, but that must be 30 years ago. It made it difficult to walk without turning one's ankle sometimes where there were no sidewalks, as well as making for some interestingly bumpy cab rides! Still, I greatly enjoyed them.
9. Motorcycles. Thousands of them. Everywhere. (Usually, small ones.) Just like in Fellini movies made in the '50's, like "Nights of Cabiria." It makes a lot of sense, given the shortage of parking spaces and the large numbers of very narrow, crowded streets. Still, it took some getting used to, to see all the men and women in business attire every morning and evening, wearing motorcycle helmets and zooming around the city. Work shoes stowed in the back storage compartment, of course! Some older people too, as well as parents riding with fairly young children in front of them. We got used to stepping to the side of the road every time we heard the sound of a motorcycle behind us, because they go pretty fast, and there are close calls all the time. One wonders how many motorcycle-pedestrian collisions there are in Rome every year! Although we saw only one motorcycle accident the whole time we were there.
I started getting ideas of driving around Manhattan on one. I came to my senses, though.
10. Lots of Japanese and American cars, Fiats, etc. But the most omnipresent four-wheeled vehicles were miniature cars with the "Smart" label, somewhat resembling overturned bathtubs. They looked almost tiny enough to fit in an elevator, so you could park them in your living room every night.
11. Apparently, 100 or so different brands of bottled "mineral" water, sold at gelaterias (geletarias?) on almost every block. I got used to asking for "Aqua naturale" (the equivalent of bottled water here); J. usually opted for Aqua frizzante (w/carbonation). Not too expensive, either -- usually 1 euro for half a litre, 1.5 or 2 euros for a full litre.
12. Thin, crisp Roman pizza. Yum.
13. Eating large plates of pasta for lunch *and* dinner on many days. (Many varieties, some not usually found on the menus at Italian restaurants here.) Not to mention appetizers, and gelatos after dinner. With all the walking we did, we needed the nourishment. Still, J. was unhappy that he gained four or five pounds. What the hell; it was his vacation -- his high school graduation present -- so, why not enjoy? There's plenty of time to make up for it if he wants to. (He has a friend in college who gained 40 pounds her freshman year, and is determined to try to avoid that.) I thought maybe I'd gained some weight too, but, perhaps not surprisingly given my difficulties in that area, I was the same 115 when I got back as when I left.
14. The Caprese salads (tomatoes and mozzarella). Also yum. Much moister and tastier than what I've had here. In fact, the food in general was fantastic. In all the time we were there, there was only one restaurant neither of us liked. We tried to avoid the ones that served pre-made food (mostly wine bars, etc.), and stuck with the ones that said everything was made fresh on premises.
15. We did eat in Indian restaurants a couple of times -- virtually the only kind of non-Italian restaurants one sees in Rome in any large number. Only a couple of Chinese and Japanese restaurants, no French restaurants that I saw, no Thai or other Southeast Asian, but lots of Indian restaurants. And, clearly, a lot of people from India living in Rome. All the ones at the restaurants, at least, spoke English fluently, more so than most Italian people we met, so I suspect that they're mostly immigrants. I had no idea, given the absence of any historic/colonial relationship (so far as I know) between Italy and India, that there was such a large Indian community in Rome. People from India, and the Philippines, and some African and Middle Eastern people and some Gypsies, seemed to be pretty much the only non-European people living in Rome.
14. Despite the wonderful food, and the pleasure that Italian people clearly take in eating, we both noticed that Italian people living in Rome -- at least the ones younger than, say, 40 or so -- seem, in general, to be remarkably thin. All these incredibly skinny women, and men too. Which surprised us, I have to say. And made even me feel a little uncomfortable.
15. Many bambini in strollers and carriages. A very child-friendly culture, from what we could see. Very, very openly and demonstratively affectionate papas, too. Not just the mamas. Children allowed to play in the piazzas and run around, without their parents hovering over them every second. Many people taking their babies out for walks at midnight or 1 am!
16. Every piazza -- and there's one every few blocks -- crowded with people every night, drinking, smoking, hanging out. Elderly people sitting on the edge of the central fountains, right next to the young couples making out or engaged in intense conversation, and the families with kids. Most of them seemingly people from the immediate neighborhood; mostly everyone seems to know each other, always greeting other people's kids, etc. In other words, a real outdoor or street culture/community environment, considerably more so than even in NYC. Both J. and I were envious.
17. Way more people smoke. They do have a law prohibiting smoking inside restaurants, but almost 100% of restaurants have seating outside on the sidewalk, and the haze from the smoking there can be somewhat annoying at times if you don't enjoy that kind of thing. Which I'm afraid I don't. On days when we were hot and exhausted, and the restaurants were air-conditioned, we often ate inside anyway.
18. As many restaurants as one finds in Manhattan. Most seemed to serve food until sometime between 11 pm and 1 am, every night -- people eat late in Rome. My kind of schedule, really!
19. Dogs inside restaurants. And dogs in the street, off their leashes. In general, I'd say far fewer public health-inspired governmental restrictions on public behavior than one finds in many U.S. cities.
20. There were lots of stray cats, too, many of them extremely cute. There's one entire block, an excavated Roman ruin, that's a designated sanctuary for stray/abandoned cats. People can bring their unwanted cats there, they'll be neutered, and well-fed by volunteers, and can live the rest of their lives in peace. (If they're not adopted eventually, which many are.) J. and I spent close to an hour early one afternoon looking down into the ruins and trying to spot the kitties. Most of whom, quite sensibly, were asleep at that hour.
21. Outside Rome, in Ostia Antica, a donkey parked in a parking lot. In the ladies room in the cafe at the Ostia Antica ruins, an enormous dog, belonging to the establishment, sleeping peacefully on the floor.
23. No tip lines on credit card slips at restaurants. Cash only!
24. Almost all churches, and some stores, closed every day at 12:30 or 1, until 3 or 3:30 pm.
25. Grafitti everywhere, on a large percentage of buildings in Rome. Including, in places, competing grafitti from Fascist and Communist youth. (We were actually warned to stay away at night from certain piazzas that apparently are known as hangouts for Fascist youth gangs.) I felt a great deal of deja vu in seeing the Metro (subway) cars on the B line -- unairconditioned, and completely covered with grafitti on the outsides. They looked *exactly* like New York City subway cars, circa mid-1970's. (The A line is newer -- airconditioned cars, and much less graffiti; or, at least, they make an effort to clean it off.)
26. No offense to all our members from those parts [those other message boards have a lot of UK members -- I was just teasing them], but virtually every single time we encountered a group of lanky young, grumpy-looking, male tourists with pasty faces and bad skin, and got close enough to hear them, they had English (or, a few times, Irish) accents. Young American male tourists seemed to be not so skinny, more the athletic/collegiate boisterous types, baseball caps and all!
27. Many priests and nuns (including young ones) in traditional garb -- I don't think I've seen a nun wearing a habit in New York in years.
28. Almost all antique stores, used bookstores, and stores selling old prints, as well as a lot of other small stores, are closed for vacation the entire month of August. I was disappointed, but it probably saved me a lot of money!
29. Almost no women in blue jeans. I felt kind of conspicuous, since that's what I wore almost every day. (In the evenings, I dressed up a bit more.) Some men in jeans, but not as many as in the U.S. by any means.
30. Probably 70% of the Italian women we saw wore dresses -- most often the "summer dress" kind of dress that I don't own many of, and kept meaning to buy before the trip, but never got around to. (Just as well, perhaps, since summer dresses, as pretty as they are, are mostly bare-shouldered, and you can't go into most churches with your shoulders bare -- or wearing shorts -- whether you're male or female.) Also, there were lots and lots of little girls wearing dresses, for what seemed to be ordinary occasions. Something one rarely sees in New York, anyway.
31. Women wear a lot of "big" jewelry. Lots of huge necklaces, beads, etc. Not for me; I think I'd look like a child playing dressup in it.
A lot of jewelry stores selling what they refer to as "ethnic" (usually Indian) jewelry.
32. As pointed out to me by J., lots and lots of displays in stores of mannequins wearing underwear. Not anything I'm not used to -- except that there was as much display of men's underwear as women's. Apparently, Italian men take way more interest in their briefs being stylish than most American men seem to!
33. Guards at many museums don't wear uniforms.
34. At one special exhibit we saw at the Museum del Corso (art and architecture of Rome in the 1400's), all the guards, for reasons unknown, were extremely attractive young women wearing very short black skirts, dark stockings, heels, and tight white blouses. Hunh?
35. At the Vatican museums, although some of the guards were quite stern (shouting "SILENCE!" at regular intervals to the crowd in the Sistine Chapel -- people aren't supposed to talk, a rule that's observed only in its breach by most people), there were several who looked like they were about 22, and were clowning around rather loudly.
36. 85-90% of the background music played at restaurants and in stores is English-language, either American or British.
37. The sheer pervasiveness of the past. One literally cannot walk more than a block or two, anywhere in or near the center of the city, without coming upon some kind of Roman ruin, or a church originally built in medieval times (or earlier -- after all, the Pantheon, a functioning church with the largest dome in Rome, larger than the Basilica of St. Peter's, is, in essence, an intact Roman temple dating back to the 2d century C.E., built by Hadrian if I recall correctly). Or, at the very least, a building dating back to the 16th or 17th century! Kind of a disorienting contrast with the U.S., where any building built before, say, 1850, is considered extremely old. Of course this is true in any old European city, but especially so in Rome, I think.
38. A lot of variation in appearance among Italian people. Some very fair-skinned with light eyes, and many very dark-skinned, as if we were in Sicily. Of course, people come to Rome from all over Italy. Still, it brought home to me, as so many things do, how little the construct of "race" really has to do with actual skin color, and how silly it all is, for the most part.
39. Almost last, but certainly not least, Italian people are beautiful. Amazingly so. In all their diversity. Sorry if people think I'm sterotyping or exoticizing; it's just my observation. J. agrees. ("At least the young ones.") He appreciated the fact that most Italian men aren't very tall.
40. Only four gay/lesbian bars in all of Rome, a city of close to 3 million. (Like many towns or cities with not many such places, there's no "gay bar"/"lesbian bar" segregation. They all hang out together.)
According to the people J. talked to at the gay bar he went to on a couple of evenings (a place called "Coming Out," near the Colosseum, with a rainbow flag in front and a great view of the ruins at night -- J. took me by there so I could see it, and the neighborhood), Rome is not a great place for gay people. Even though most of the people he talked to -- a number of gay men in their 30's and 40's who kind of "adopted" him, and were apparently quite impressed with his ability to communicate in a mixture of English, the fluent Spanish he speaks, and the Italian he picked up in our two weeks there -- actually came to Rome from elsewhere in Italy. Rome may be better than some other places in Italy, but there's still a lot of cultural prejudice, a lot of people in the closet whose parents and families have no idea. A lot of public sex, too, apparently, as if this were New York 40 or 50 years ago -- sex in public restrooms in gas stations, etc.
Ironically, several of the men J. was talking to said they wanted to move to New York, and that they prefer American men anyway. ("Italian men all live with their mothers until they're 35 and expect to be waited on hand and foot.")
The grass is always greener, I suppose. Clearly, though, Central and Southern Italy are not particularly gay-friendly places, despite whatever anti-discrimination laws may exist. Certainly not compared to many other places in Western Europe.
J. said about 40% of the people at the bar -- or, more accurately, outside it; it's a small establishment (no room for dancing) and most of the people just hung out on the sidewalk -- were lesbians.
And, yes, J. got home safely both times; it's just a few blocks from the hotel, and I realized pretty quickly that it's a reasonably safe neighborhood around there, although there are some deserted little narrow side streets I wouldn't have wanted him walking down by himself at night. I wouldn't either! He assured me he wouldn't. Both nights, he got home by the promised hour -- once, 1:00 am and the other time, 1:30, and both times he limited himself to two drinks, as promised. Screwdrivers. Quite sufficient to give him a "glow" (remember, he's about my size), but not enough to make him dizzy, or not able to focus on his surroundings.
I'm very happy he had such a nice, interesting time talking to all these people, and had a chance to spread his wings a little that way. Of course, he won't be able to go to a bar again, at least in this country, for another three years!
So, my trust in him turned out to be well-placed. I also (deliberately) allowed myself to rely on him on this trip to be the navigator, and let him lead the way, and decide where he wanted to go -- all for the first time in our vacations together. By the end of the two weeks, I swear he knew almost all the major streets of Central Rome, all the churches and piazzas, all the metro stops, by heart.
He only got us lost (temporarily) twice. Both times because he was so sure of himself, and too stubborn to consult the map he was holding, or ask directions. He's such a "guy" that way.
OK, I'm sure you've all had more than enough, already! But I hope it gives you at least some idea of what Rome felt like to us, in ways large and small.
Donna
Last edited by DonnaL; 08-13-2008 at 03:36 PM.
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