If this disease affects 2% of the population and far more women than men, then 3% of young women (and their parents) are dealing with it. Probably a lot of families do not know they are dealing with it - but I am hoping to find families who do know and who have had experience with reconciling their dreams for their children with the realities of this heartbreaking disorder.
I have an exquisitely sensitive, much loved daughter, high school class of 2010. She exhibited symptoms (depression, suicidality, cutting, worthlessness, rage, fear of abandonment) early and often. There is some question about whether she has her own BPD or was simply mimicking her father's. I am divorced from him for 8 years. He has always absolutely refused treatment. She has embraced treatment and is doing much better (no recent depression with help of SSRI, stable relationships with everyone but father, no recent self-injury, decent self-esteem and identity).
I could not possible tell you how much work this has been for me and my new husband (her step-dad). I am so grateful we have had the resources for loving private schools, excellent therapists and for me to take 5 years off to work on our bond after the divorce.
I have joined some BPD groups online but I feel so sad that kids who didn't get enough early help are identified with being trouble (the criminal and crazy type).
I saw some older posts on this site that I could relate to. Parents who aren't blaming their children for having a terrible disease they never asked for.
I have already grieved for my former (and now I think unimportant) expectations for my daughter. Truly, I don't think she ever had as much hope for her future as she has now.
My questions are -
Has anyone else with early aggressive treatment seen continued improvement or is this always worse over time?
What have parents tried in terms of college near home, living at home, college away? (My daughter's instinct is to move out but be within 2-3 hours drive of home)
Do meds continue to work over time?
Has anyone had DBT training? It sounds great but I am a little worried that the people she will meet in "group" will frighten her - this happened when she was in a group for children of divorce - she had nightmares for months when she heard about the things some of the other children lived through and it made her worry that these things would happen to her.
Any other ideas for getting the most out of life when you struggle for every minute of "feeling okay"?