So what do you do with an empty-nest? - Page 11

HImom · 07-06-2009, 12:06 AM

We kind of drifted in to the "empty nest," since S left in 2006 but D didn't leave until Jan 2009. We had a preview when both were off for a month last summer to Taiwan. We haven't moticed any huge changes other than less chauferring & it's easier to make impromptu plans & changes since there are only the two of us to consider. I can spend more time & energy with my non-profit without feeling I'm depriving the kids or hubby of time & attention now that the kids are pretty self-sufficient. Even tho D is home this summer, she's busy with her friends, summer school & internship & mainly I am chief chauffer (she still only has her driver's permit). She adapts to my schedule or can catch the bus, so it has been working pretty well so far. She will go back to school in CA in 6 weeks & S will join here there for his senior year.

tango14 · 07-23-2009, 06:00 AM

The most troublesome part of the empty nest for us for the moment is the dog. We used to never have to worry about what to do with her because there was always someone around. Now with the kids gone, H & I both have to schedule not only our own travel but care for the dog, too!

PackMom · 07-23-2009, 08:45 AM

Yes, our dog is old and doesn't do well in a kennel. He is blind on on daily medication. It has gotten to be a problem for us too. With the kids gone and us wanting to go visit them or take other weekend trips(aging parent in nursing home across the state), the dog has complicated things. I love dogs and we have always had one but have decided that this one will be our last because of the logistics.

Northstarmom · 07-23-2009, 09:02 AM

My latest adventure: I just got cast as an old lady in a local production of "The Producers." I think I'll be one of the sweet, horny old ladies doing the walker dance!

I am so happy! When I went to auditions, there were at least 50 people there, and I obviously was the oldest one. Virtually everyone was at least 30 years younger than me. We had to sing and then --in a group -- learn a long dance combination. The dance audition took an hour, and I never ever learned the darned combination. I thought I did a good job, though, when at the end, they asked us to do the combination like we were old ladies! Not hard for me! I just continued to act forgetful!

khsstitches · 07-23-2009, 06:37 PM

Northstartmom, I swear I am coming to see you in one of these productions someday. Between this one and the previous one that you described you sound like a heck of a lot of fun.....and you said you can't cook but I can, so we wouldn't starve!!! You go, girl, and break a leg!!! In the most theater conscious sense of the phrase....don't want you really needing a walker!

milkandsugar · 07-23-2009, 08:47 PM

OMG, this was me last summer, very emotional and sad that my only daughter was going off to college. Husband and I have no parents, so we were really were facing a new phase, but after a small adjustment period, I started feeling like that old sexy gal I was 25 years ago when hubby and I did not have children. Husband and I made plans to go out more often, cook themed dinner every week (mexican, italian) etc and pursue some artistic things that we never really got a chance to explore. I started making jewelry, earrings, necklaces and husband pursued singing and playing acoustic guitar in restaurants. We actually had fun going to the different venues and meeting new people.
We enjoyed it so much and reconnected that it was a real adjustment when daughter came back home. We forgot how much energy and focus it takes when you are doing the day to day real time parenting.
For one thing my house was cleaner, there was bread and eggs in the fridge when you needed it and my daughter's room was clean.
Don't get me wrong, I would never trade my daughter for anything in the world, but the empty nest is really a wonderful time to renew your own personal spirit, get in touch with single self and take care of your own needs and interests. Thing that we tend to neglect and forget about when we raise our children.

MiamiDAP · 07-23-2009, 10:33 PM

I mentioned somewhere before that I started doing pottery and enjoy it a lot after work and gym every evening. But, boy oh boy, I am so happy to have D home for summer, I love serving her and a little mess here and there, I feel that I am doing something more real. And soon grandkids are coming for 3 weeks. we have them every summer, they love to go to camp and we spend time with them after work. Soon they outgrow camp, just like our D did at around 11, so we are enjoying them while it lasts.

VeryHappy · 07-24-2009, 06:51 AM

Wow, grandkids. I'm ready, but my children are not. So we'll wait a while longer, and it will be even more of a treat for me when it happens!

MiamiDAP · 07-24-2009, 10:33 AM

My older son is turning 40 this year. His D is 10. We have had them for awhile, they are fun. Unfortunately, they live very far away.

bonanza23 · 07-26-2009, 04:11 AM

We just went through the 1st year being an empty nester. It was extremely hard but we survived. It just was that I was so involved in my Ds' lives for 24 years. It not like I didn't have anything else to do b/c I have my own business and work 50-60 hrs per week but she was the last D to leave and I truly enjoyed spending time w/ her. When she left to attend school 4,000 miles away, I didn't believe I would be able to breath. But we survived and I learning how to spend quality time with my husband and doing things I have put on the back burner for years. This fall when she leaves for school I have decided for my husband and I to take a trip just the two of us. We haven't had a trip just the two of us for a very long time. I'm really looking forward to it.

ilovetoquilt22 · 07-27-2009, 01:40 AM

I am trying to do more things with my gal friends (second daughter leaves in 4 weeks)

Taking seminars, writing, photography, quilting, paralegal studies

I am going to cook once a week, sundays, and freeze our meals....messing up the kitchen just once.

Our plan is to set up house so we can do "house swaps" for vacations!!

Ikea is helping with that.

wbow · 07-27-2009, 05:01 AM

i've had three years to adjust. some times are good, some times are not so good.

my youngest will be leaving shortly for his senior year, and i realize that this is the last major chunk of time i'll probably have him around. i'm not liking that so much.

i thought i was a fairly well-adjusted adult, but empty nest has proved more than challenging for me.

mitzy · 07-31-2009, 07:15 PM

New mom here, my D will be leaving in 3 weeks and I am a bit worried. Any other moms out there feel the same way I do?

lkf725 · 07-31-2009, 10:01 PM

Hi mitzy! Welcome to CC (warning: it can be addicting).

I remember when my son left for college, I was a little worried too. Actually, I think the anticipation of leaving throughout the summer was actually worse than being separated in the fall. It got easier as we all became aware that he was really just fine on his own. I think that it will get easier for you, too!

mitzy · 08-01-2009, 11:26 AM

IKf725 - Thank you for answering, she is the my only child and I am finding it painful to let go. We have always been together except, summer camp.