Northstarmom

"I actually considered the peace corps.. a little extreme but apealing."

Go for it! I have a friend who did the Peace Corps in her 60s. I know someone else who -- after her kids grew up -- became a nurse and then spent time in India with Mother Theresa. I met the woman when she was doing an immersion program in Spanish in Ecuador. Enjoy life. Dare to live your dreams while you're still able.

As Mark Twain said: "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

toneranger

NSM - I think you might consider a little side business giving motivational counseling and guidance to lost empty nesters. You got it going on!
Anyway, your description of your drawing class is interesting to me. I tried a drawing class last year and the teacher made us draw with our eyes closed for the whole class. Wow..frustrating. Look at the teapots and jars arranged in the middle of the table, close your eyes and DRAW. My work looked horrible of course. Never went back. I guess I need to try a different class!

mathmom

My ex-aunt (divorced my uncle) joined the Peace Corps after her kids were done with college. She went to Thailand and loved it so much she's back there more or less permanently now still doing good works there. She's one of the 1950's Betty Friedan women who was really stifled by marriage, but really blossomed after the divorce. I ended up really liking and admiring her, while she was my least favorite aunt before!

toneranger - that's too bad that the closed eye drawing scared you off. It's really just supposed to be an exercise in loosening up. I can't imagine however devoting an entire class to it! You should definitely try another class - around here at least it's very easy to find very different approaches.

missypie

Your post demonstrates how incredibly important good teachers are...with a different approach, you might be drawing up a storm right now. How many of us have gone out on a limb and taken an art class, a dance class, a cooking class, a language class, only to enounter a terrible teacher and never go back. (I remember the ONE step aerobics class and the ONE yoga class that I took.) Think of our kids who are sometimes stuck with equally terrible teachers but can't just drop the class like we can!

lkf725

Me too! With my youngest being a high school senior, I just can't imagine not being with kids. Even though I have a profession that I used to love, I think that my heart is really elsewhere now. Raising my children was very best job I ever had. Northstarmom is very inspiring - maybe I am not really too old to try something else!

Northstarmom

Remember that you can try new things that involve being with kids. For instance, I've made many young friends by taking courses at the local community college and becoming active in community theater. I also have done volunteer work doing leadership and other workshops with kids, including kids who were co-facilitators with me.

In addition, I've helped organizations that I'm in attract more young people. It's important to help organizations recognize that young people can be full members and contributors, not just recipients of their services.

canamdance

I know exactly what you mean about going out on a limb and bombing out because of a bad teacher. I tried an interior decorating course; I should have LOVED it, it has everything I love doing and working with, but she was so bad I was so turned off and felt so incompetent I don't even like picking out paint colours for my own house anymore!

But I am casting around for something meaningful and interesting to do now that S2 will be leaving in the fall. But raising my kids has been the best job I ever had as well. Right now I feel that nothing else can ever compare.

toneranger

missiepie...you are so right about teachers. I wish there was an online place to check them out - kind of like tripadvisor (love it for hotels). I guess you ask around and just keep trying until you find a good one.
Anyway, I tried yoga for the first time three years ago. It was hard the first time but the teacher was wonderful. I still attend her classes three days per week...and it feels great...best thing I ever did for my old creaky body.

heyalb

My last chitlins are leaving the nest this August. As soon as that happens, I'm pulling up roots and moving in with Northstarmom.

Northstarmom, are you a good cook?

missypie

At least at the gym you can peek into classes and sort of check them out. I know for a fact that I'd never do the spinning class at my gym...no desire to have a 22 year old girl yell at me for a hour!

Northstarmom

"My last chitlins are leaving the nest this August. As soon as that happens, I'm pulling up roots and moving in with Northstarmom.

Northstarmom, are you a good cook?"

LOL! I can make good soups, but other than that, I'm a particularly good cook, but I am lots of fun!

heyalb

You seem to be. Perhaps there's hope for me yet.

toodleooo

you could spend your days reading college confidential, passing on your "wisdom" from back in the day and arguing with others, all for benefit of contemporary parents and/or their college-bound kids. some of these (mostly moms) have hundreds - maybe thousands - of posts. really, things change a lot and issues today are much different from as recently as a few years ago. just get a life.

morrismm

A year ago I was facing empty nest and feeling very down. It occurred in August and I was depressed. After a few weeks I forced my H to go to various things on weekends w/ me. We went to farmers markets and garlic festivals, etc. We had spontaneous sex anywhere in the house at any time. We where actually beginning to enjoy it, as we were told we would.

Then we got the call from my son's college. (He was suppose to graduate fall '08) He was not attending classes and was not progressing on his senior thesis. We spent the remain 3 months constantly attending to him to force him to complete the senior thesis, which had to be done in residence. This required constant travel to the school, communication etc. etc. He did not graduate. He still needed one more class . He took it at our local state school and transferred it back.

He graduated in May w/ a physics major, math minor from a top LAC. Two weeks later he was arrested w/ a DWI. Ironically, he is not a big drinker, ie rarely drinks. His emotions get the better of him, which affects his decision making abilities, hence DWI and school problems. He is getting counseling.

Two weeks after sons arrest, D called to say her bf just broke up w/ her. Trouble is, she is living w/ her bf in NYC. He lives there and owns his condo. She is a summer analyst there living at his condo. (She also had an internship last summer and lived w/ him) Bf told her she had to move out immediately. D is completely shocked. She now has no where to live in NYC, is heart broken and has an internship that requires being there at 6:30 am until whenever (earliest 6 pm) pm. More often much later than 6 pm. So we, parents are scrambling to find her a place to live. H went down to NYC last Wed. to move her into a temporary place until July 1st. Where she goes after that is still not set.

The hardest part of this is how broken hearted she is. We have had many late night and early morning hysterical or minimal crying pleads. It kills us as parents.

Finally, our D2 ran a car into a ditch last night. No drinking! She was towed out. No damage to kid. Damage to car, we will finf out Monday.

I WOULD LOVE TO EXPERIENCE EMPTY NEST AGAIN!!

Montegut

Bless your heart!

Yes, I think empty nest does not exist. We will always be their parents.

When they're out of the house, hurry up and enjoy as much as you can, because you never know when they'll come knocking back on that door.

And better yet, when they bring your grandchildren to help them raise!