SkyGirl

What a long thread, lol. My goodness.
I got lost somewhere in the middle

mousegray

I came to a realization today that I don't make much effort to talk to my grown S about how his life is going, how he's feeling, etc. He is not that emotionally transparent and can be somewhat rigid in his thinking, so I often assume that he isn't interested in opening up to me. I'm beginning to see that I may have been mistaken in assuming that. I have to admit that there is a fair amount of negativity and frustration on my part at times due to his behavior, which doesn't make me inclined to open up a line of dialog with him. I think we may be in a rut which I'm going to make an effort to get out of by watching my own reactions to him. I'll try to be more curious about his doings without going into the usual parental skepticism and scolding. So, galoisien, thanks for posting. Whether you meant to or not, you've opened my eyes to my own son.

bluealien01

Wow. I don't know what an Xbox and a Wii are. I don't own an ipod or iphone. I have never had cable TV or high speed Internet access. I have no idea what a Twitter is. I lost my cell phone 3 months ago and have yet to purchase a new one (who knows if I ever will). I'm 25. I guess I never had any passion to begin with. Or, I just don't care about that teenage-ish nonsense.

NJres

why do adults seem to be passionless and uncurious?
why are adults ignorant and apathetic?

I don't know and I don't care!

oh, has someone already said that? sigh....................

swimcatsmom

This may have been addressed elsewhere in this very long thread - it is late so I am not going to read the whole thing. Personally I found much of the teen years to be years when my kids did not want to share a lot of their lives with me and made me feel like an interrogator from Guantanamo when I would ask them about things in their lives. I backed off a lot (with great difficulty - had to actually force myself) from asking them too much detail because it was like getting blood out of a stone, if a stone were capable of glaring at me resentfully while I tried to extract the drop of blood.

I probably come across much more passionate and curious with my friends that I do with my kids because, not only am I interested in what they are doing/feeling (as I have always been with my kids), but they find this interest quite normal and acceptable and even expect it. And they are actually also interested in what I am doing/feeling which is very pleasant and refreshing after dealing with the teen years.

swimcatsmom

Ugh - I didn't switch to classic view as i was just typing this then going to bed - my eyes actually physically ache from just reading the 'fresh' format for 10-15 minutes. Ouch.

alexandrafitzmor

@swimcatsmom: Funny, I actually put on the fresh for a couple of days and switched back to classic. I could feel the tension wipe away from my eyes, like having slept for 12 hours.

someon

the arrogance in this thread from most people is ridiculous.

collegeboss

mind viruses aka memetic viruses/memetic programming, limiting beliefs

alexandrafitzmor

Agreed....