Onward

Do you think she could just be plain tired? Honestly, when I get home from work, even though I enjoy it, I don't want to talk about it. And it is real hard to talk about work to people not employed where I am. It's like talking about a book that the other person hasn't read and doesn't know the characters. I like to know what my kids are doing but there are many times I just want the condensed version. I have bills to pay, a yard that needs mowing and grocery shopping to do. Love you dearly but chop, chop!

SlitheyTove

When I saw the title of the thread, the first thing that came to mind was Mark Twain's great quote: "When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned."

Sorry OP, I just couldn't resist!

VeryHappy

^^^ Perfect!!!

Pizzagirl

Galoisien. Your blog is chock full of excruciating detail on esoteric subjects. It's great that you're enthused about those subjects, but it's unfair to expect everyone else to be interested in them. Very few people are interested in linguistics, for example. It's OK, really. Doesn't make them "passionless" - it just means they're not interested in linguistics. That's all. You jump into everything you do with such enthusiasm and you expect your mother, who WORKS for a living, who's probably tired at the end of her day, to jump into those discussions, too. That's not fair to her.

Pizzagirl

Galoisien, here's an example of what I mean:

Good lord, I wouldn't care about that level of detail for my own two children. Why would I care what the class average was? And median? And how it differed from last year? Why do you expect your mother to be in rapt attention to this kind of thing?

And you're not a very humble individual, per the comments on your other thread where you called community college professors "nobodies." Talking to people who have an inflated sense of self-importance isn't rewarding for anybody.

geek_mom

^ Back in the day, we used to write stuff like that in things called "diaries" -- and nobody else was ever allowed to see them. I think that might have helped us learn how to filter our thoughts and get to the point. I was endlessly fascinated with linguistics, circuit design, artificial intelligence, Karnaugh maps, and all manner of things that wouldn't have made much difference to my parents... honestly, it never really occurred to me to sit down and discuss those topics with them. And breaking down the exact probability of whether I'd get a B+ or an A- in a class? Not a chance.

Jonrie, there's a big, big difference between taking the time to write a letter to your mom and ... asking her to check out your blog and Facebook page, where you've spewed every random thought that pops into your head. The former is a kind of outreach that says you're thinking about the other person. The latter is a self-centered activity that says you expect the other person to be thinking about you.

And yeah, I guess there is the possibility that after raising you to a potentially prosperous adulthood with more or less success, now she's just not that into you. More likely, though, she's just demonstrating Maslow's hierarchy. Bills gotta be paid.

geek_mom

Addendum: Consider the flip side of your situation. I just joked to geek_son that if he had a Facebook page I could see, I'd probably be on it reading every little detail every day. He responded, "Yeah, but you're a psychotic stalker." Sometimes, less is more!

MarinMom

"Yeah, but you're a psychotic stalker." But in a GOOD way!

If I was working full-time, had a household and a couple of kids I was responsible for, and had constant money worries, my sense of curiosity would take a huge hit. Plus, I'm just not interested in everything that my kids and husband are interested in, just as they're not necessarily interested in my passions. It's OK not to be totally enraptured by your housemates' work and hobbies.

AnudduhMom

Hello neighbor in southern Maine! It's funny, I have to say I sometimes have the same impression of YOUR generation --

-- Where is the activism about the situation in Iraq among your generation? We were the "Hell no we won't go" generation. We tried to change the world. Have you?
-- Did you vote in the last election? work on the campaigns? go door-to-door? (I have to say, the only "kids" working in the election offices where I worked in southern Maine were only doing it for school credit, not because of passion)
-- Did you stand up against racism, go to Standish and protest the anti-Obama mess there last winter? Did you go to Bonny Eagle recently, did you write letters, did you protest against injustice in the school graduation?
-- Have you worked hard to make life better here in Maine? Have you volunteered to clean the beaches? Have you showed your passion for your state, your oceans, wilderness, wetlands? Are you Rachel Carson, Jr.?
-- Have you helped the elderly, children, homeless, the abused and battered women, refugees from places like Somalia (plenty of them work at Maine Mall)?

If you can talk about your involvement in these and so many other ways, we can have a conversation, because otherwise I am too busy with my passions and interests (as are my kids, and they don't judge me so harshly), which include studying for the Praxis (the SAT all over again) to be able to work in schools helping kids in Maine position themselves for the future.

Remind me again, you said my generation is "passionless"?
Only you can answer that question, dear.

But in the air is the sound of a mother's heart breaking -- could it be your mother's, galoisien?

ellemenope

I have found that most people aren't passionless...I just haven't found what their passion is.

oldfort

When I posted above about I am always interested in what my kids are doing, I didn't mean everything. There is always a boundary between parents and kids. Even our D2 will say, "Filter, lets try some filtering here," when any of us start to ramble or disclosing too much information. My kids and I are not FB friends. Just because we don't want blow by blow of what's going on with our kids, it doesn't mean we don't have intellectual curiosity of what's going on. My kids are often surprised I know more about new gadgets and my husband knows more about the pop culture than them sometimes.

NJres

Mark Twain's sentiment was reiterated in last summer's smash country hit, Back When i Knew it All. I love that song!

Back when the world was flat and
mama and daddy didn't have a clue

emeraldkity4

Im thinking- maybe they are exhausted?
I just spent the weekend with " kids" in their late 20's working on an environmental service project ( we are in charge of a new marine park- that has bare bones funding)
They are energetic workers- but once it is dinner and chat time ( we camped overnight to save time commuting in the morning.)
I had to think - these are relatively intelligent people- they have more higher ed than I do- attended good colleges, work for Microsoft/the city/ etc but was I ever that boring at that age?

This is an ongoing volunteer project- I will give them that- I was too busy with my own family when I was their age to do volunteer work outside of their schools( I had my first when I was 24), but their interests are narrow.
but they are young- they will learn.

geek_mom

This isn't about the OP, but I would like to put on my asbestos suit for just a moment and note that among his generation are many outstanding, passionate young people who are trying to change the world... in Iraq. If you want to renew your faith in the younger set and our prospects under their generation's leadership, corresponding with some of these mature, inspiring young people is a terrific way to do so, regardless of your position on the war. It's also great training for college care packages!

galoisien

Pizzagirl: Uhh, that post doesn't count (it's not a typical post). I like how you cherry-pick the most uninteresting posts =) ... why not the ones where I went for night walks, or revisited old schools, wrote about issues concerning the Singapore education policy on Singlish (since well, my family speaks it) and there are plenty of items that aren't "esoteric". fb replaces that niche now, but plenty of people have chimed in over the years ... but not my mother. Even my amoral father, who abandoned the family, has read it. There are posts catered to an audience and posts catered to myself of course. And blogging was just an example -- there are many other avenues untaken too.