AnudduhMom

You know, that's a great point, swimcatsmom,
And what I find so admirable is that you said it in a rational, non-sarcastic and reasonable way (which is sometimes not the case on CC, let's admit).

Of course, your FIL's bravado may be similar to mine -- it hides a general squeamishness and fear about any medical procedures, particularly those that are invasive and seem to violate my bodily integrity in some way. As in: "you want to...what? Squoosh my breast between two metal plates, like some kind of...panini? I don't THINK so." Why do I have the impression that the mammo was invented by a man?

I'm kidding of course.

However, you know, there is medication to manage any kind of pain, and maybe your FIL would have preferred to exit gracefully rather than be attached to an ostomy bag. The colostomy might have been necessary whether or not he got the colonoscopy.

Not for me the crippled old age. I guess I am kind of European in wanting to hasten the exit. My kids know: Do Not Rescuscitate. Pull the plug. Dump me from my wheelchair off the cliff or off the boat. You'd be doing all of us a favor.

I am much more afraid of a life that ends in years of disability than I am of death.

bulletandpima

^^^ I think for my family it was horrible to watch gmom die. She died of old age at 101, but for the last 6 yrs she lived in a wheelchair because she broke her hip. Every birthday and christmas she would just cry saying I want to join Pop. My gmom until she broke her hip mowed her own lawn, planted gardens, went to visit pop to place flowers on her grave. She fell down the stairs one night and was forced to move in with my aunt, she was never the same again. It was sad to say her life being reduced to plopping her up in front of the tv to watch price is right and jeopardy.

This affected my mom so much, that she moved into an adult community and bought long term life insurance so she would never be a burden. Fortunately, since as I have said before my mom is very pro-active on her healthcare, which I hope that means she'll beat gmoms age, but as someone who will still go out every morning and water her flowers.

swimcatsmom

I am afraid of that too, especially having seen my in laws last few years. To be honest I was never really afraid of old age till I have watched their last few years - I guess most of my relatives have died fairly quick deaths, except my dad who had a pretty awful last 2 years before he died, painful and shocking for the survivors but, in the end, something I would hope for for my loved ones and myself. My FIL and MIL have never been resuscitated or been on life support and had a plug to be pulled (sounds odd but you know what I mean) but are both enduring a crippled and very miserable old age. It is heartbreaking to watch. They both have DNRs but nowadays some of natures ways of ending life in the past, like pneumonia, are treated without it being extreme measures.

Consolation

I'm 56 and have never had a colonoscopy. I don't have health insurance. I'm not going to tap our home equity further to pay for an expensive screening test, especially with no family history. I spent $99 for a year's subscription to a gym, which I figure will do me more good.

We had extremely high deductible insurance for about a decade, for which we paid about $40K--which apparently went to support the health care received by people with low deductibles, since we never saw a cent of it--and now have none. All our medical expenses have been out of pocket. We simply do not seek medical attention unless it is very clear that the problem is very serious, getting worse, and will not respond to rest, liquids, and over-the-counter drugs.

If either of us manages to get a job with decent health benefits, then sure, I'll have those screening tests. But right now society's message to us is coming through loud and clear on all fronts: we're on the garbage heap.

marite

We do have a family history, so S1 has had to have yearly colonoscopies since turning 20 (S2 will follow soon). Good thing, too: adenomatous polyps were detected in his second colonoscopy. This was while he was on COBRA and we paid out of pocket for the test.
Some of my siblings left it too late. No excuse: they were in France where they could have the test done and subsequent treatment for free. They just were too scared of what the test would reveal. Sometimes, I remain angry at them, as they left behind small children who went through difficult periods.
So the test prep is unpleasant. I have being having one every year for nearly 20 years. Big shrug.

ucsd_ucla_dad

But...

... age 54 is hardly considered 'old age' by most of us. The point is that by getting the test done at the appropriate time and intervals many more people could have the disease prevented or cured and go on to live decades longer - perhaps into 'real' old age. And in the meantime their lives can be as completely active and normal as someone who never had the disease. Even if one was more advanced and ended up with a colostomy, it's not such a big deal. I've known people who have lived most of their adult lives with colostomy bags and they manage it fine. It's no reason to consider one's life over or impaired.

ChuckleDoodle

Have you thought about doing a virtual colonoscopy- the camera pill for the part of the colon they can't get to? See if you can have it done just after they do your regular scope. And, you'll only have to prep once. It takes about 8 hours to go through your colon before it comes out. Sure they can't get to any polyps, but at least you'll have peace of mind knowing whether you do or don't have polyps in the part they can't see.

bulletandpima

I swear I learn more from this site than if I spent hours of googling...thanks to all of you! I am opting for the camera pill...if they find polyps than I'll go in.

Anybody know a way to lose weight without exercising? Or how to plant a money tree in my backyard?

ChuckleDoodle

BandP- hopefully your MIL will be able to get over this with radiation. My prayers are with your family.

sorry for the length....

I am a "lucky" colon cancer gene carrier. My dad was one of those who waited- he was 25 when he first got colon cancer. they removed his colon and then 25 years later he finally went to the doctor because he almost passed out from blood loss- he had rectal cancer. He died less than a year later.

Funny thing is- he knew it was a family disease. He was one of 15 kids and 13 had died from colon cancer, his mother had it, his grandmother had it. The reason he didn't see the doctor sooner- he "knew" it would be bad news. kind of a self fulfilling prophecy.

The only thing that makes me mad is that he died when I was 22- before I had even gotten married. I'm still angry- everytime I think about seomthing my kids have done or how much he would have loved seeing them and how they are so much like me... him. I think why? you're missing all of this because you were so sure.

When I had my first colonoscopy- the doctor found over 100 polyps. Needless to say, I no longer have my colon and can't say I really miss it. I also do not have an ostomy. I have a J-pouch- where they have taken part of my small intestine, "folded" it, stapled together and created a new opening. It acts as my "large" intestine. If i didn't have the scar to show- I would never think I had the surgery.

The sad part is- I have a disease called familial adenomatous polyposis (FAP) which basically means colon cancer runs in my family. I know what the name of my genetic mutation is and my children have a 50/50 chance of having the same mutation. Luckily, my son on his first colonoscopy showed no signs of polyps and then later his genetic test came back with no mutants. I have to get my daughter in for her gentic test. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she is not so much like me that she has the mutation too.

For those of you who don't like drinking the prep- they do make capsules (Visicol) you can take- you just have to take 12-16 (?) within the same time frame as you would the nasty liquid prep.

mimk6

Thanks for the reminder about the pills -- I'd heard that before but forgotten it.

BunsenBurner

"Anybody know a way to lose weight without exercising?"

B&P, the answer to this question is "a couple of colonoscopy preps".

CountingDown

Chuckle -- my college BF was diagnosed with FAP/Gardner's in his early 30s after he had hundreds of polyps but before they'd gone bad. He did the J-pouch, too and is now 17 years out and just fine. When he was diagnosed, they went looking for the gene carrier, and it turns out his dad had FAP-related colon cancer, so the BF's dx also saved his dad's life.

Consolation, your story is why we need to have health care reform in this country. My siblings have gone without coverage from time to time as well and it scares the heck out of me. I don't want to start a political debate here, but we need to have some basic benefits for everyone.

ucsd_ucla_dad

^^ Not trying to do the political debate either but it also comes down to priorities in what people are willing to spend money on. Perhaps paying for appropriate medical tests should be prioritized at a higher level than a new Lexus, or a vacation, or a 50K/yr private college. It comes down to choices for the majority of people. It's not usually that they can't pay for the procedure - it's that they won't.

marite

Well, I don't have the choice. I was 42 when I was diagnosed with cancer. My younger one was only 3. To me, staying alive to see my kids to adulthood was the only priority. Everything else paled into insignificance.

Consolation

And you know this how? Prove to me that the majority of the un- or under-insured are choosing not to have expensive tests while buying $50K cars and $50K schools and taking expensive vacations. Do you have any idea how many people have jobs that pay under $9 per hour with no benefits, or who are employed by large corporations like Walmart that deliberately keep their hours below the threshold where benefits would kick in? Somehow I doubt it. The well-educated under-employed like us are a minority, although we have grown substantially in recent years.

We have a 1994 very cheap car and another cheap car that is about 4 years old. We haven't taken a vacation in years. My S's expensive education is paid for by a combination of financial aid and money we put in trust for him before financial disaster struck: it's not available for health care or anything else.

It is incredibly insulting to make lofty remarks about vacations and expensive cars. Oh yes, those poor people are simply a bunch of bums who just don't have the proper priorities. Hah. Oh, and before you accuse me of having a wide screen TV to go with my Welfare Queen Lexus, we have one small portable on a cart that we got used from my parents and we don't have cable. Or satellite. I'm sorry that I have internet access--I suppose you think that I should do without--but we need it for business reasons.

I only wish that I had back the tens of thousands of dollars I wasted paying for high-deductible insurance.