Help! My daughter wants to become an English Professor

[vicariousparent]

She has all the smarts and talents she would need to become a:

- Doctor.
- Lawyer.
- Investment banker.
- Any other stable well paid professional.

...but she wants to get a Ph.D and become an English professor.
...because she really loves English literature and is really good at it.

Should I:

- encourage her?
- support her?
- discourage her?
- start saving a lot of money so that she has a good inheritance lined up?

The reason I ask is I don't want her to complain to me when she is 40 and being abused by some college that I should have knocked some sense into her when she was 20 and 'forced' her to go into something more lucrative.

Comments?

[mimk6]

You need smarts and talent to be an English professor too. You didn't mention how old she is. My son might want to be a professor in the humanities, possibly English. If he pursues it, I'll be supportive. I think he would love it.

The real question is, do you want to actively try to stop her because it would seem to me that nothing short of an all-out effort to stop her would work. But why would you want to do it? It might not work and could destroy your relationship. More than one person has chosen their parent's path and been miserable and wished they'd done what they wanted.

[shennie]

I think the best thing you can do is have faith in your daughter. Let her pursue what she wants to pursue. She will likely figure out before she is 40 if she chose the wrong path. She can always choose a different route, not easily, but it is doable.

My son is 28 and a struggling musician. But he loves what he does and doesn't mind living a spartan lifestyle. As a parent, I wish he was more secure financially and had health insurance, but who is to say, in the current economy, that he wouldn't be a laid off engineer or an out of work investment banker? It is his life to live as he sees fit, as it is with your daughter.

[psychmomma]

She could also complain to you when she is 40 that, although she has all the creature comforts, she doesn't really love what she does at work all day every day and wishes she'd pursued her true interests.

I would support her as she pursues her "dreams". She may or may not stay with that plan, but if she's smart and talented, she can have success in whatever path she chooses. (just my 2 cents.)

[vicariousparent]

She is a sophomore in college.

Personally I am fine with the idea of her being an English Prof but what I am concerned about is whether *she* will be fine with that career path after she has been in it for a while.

Like I say, at age 40 she might resent my decision to be so hands off about her career choice when she was 20.

I would love to hear from people who are either English Profs themselves or parents of English Profs.

[paperplane]

As someone over 40 who pursued a stable, safe job path rather than going for my dreams--I've sometimes had regrets & now worry I may be out of time to really change course (though I'm trying!).

But, it was my choice to do so, no one pressured me. I'd probably have resented my parents A LOT if they'd pushed me this way!

[Gwen Fairfax]

Totally agree with psychmomma. Having been an English professor myself I can tell you that it's a wonderfully meaningful profession-- and that the command of language and understanding of life you gain from studying literature deeply can translate into a million different kinds of success down the road. In a world that changes as fast as this one does, that ability to think on your feet that comes from seeing life through so many different authors' eyes, is like a sixth sense.

By all means talk to her about the pros and cons-- but encourage her in what she loves, because that will be the route to success (by any definition).

[psychmomma]

I'm not sure what professions are stable and well paid anymore. There are lots of lawyers who can't find work and have huge student loan debt - or are employed but don't make huge salaries and work very long, stressful hours. Doctors also have large student loan debt as well as malpractice insurance costs that add stress to their path through life. Investment/banking is not what it used to be either.

I, like you, wish my kids would find careers that they love, that utilize their talents, and that allow for a comfortable home life with some amount of free time to pursue other areas of interest in their lives - and that allow them to support themselves without a lot of financial struggles. It's very difficult to imagine what jobs will guarantee that life.

[cartera45]

In my mind, she will be at the top of the heap prestige-wise. Anyone can become a lawyer, doctor, investment banker. There is no need to have one whit of creativity, imagination or talent. Admittedly, I idolized my English professors in college so perhaps I'm a bit biased, but if I had to pick among the careers mentioned, there would be no competition. I feel as though I sold out by becoming an attorney because I thought the pathway to English professor was too difficult.

[MD Mom]

The president of our college says that he thinks the job of tenured professor is the best job on earth. I teach remedial English to high risk students at a community college, so I don't think that is quite the same as an English professor at a university. However, it is the best mom job in the world. I don't miss anything that my kids have done and I am always available anywhere I am needed. It is not particularly mind stretching work, but it isn't too bad.

[mathmom]

There are days when I wonder why I chose architecture, but there are never ever days when I wish my parents had pushed me into a different profession. They were always very supportive of whatever I did. Neither my husband (a professor) or I make top dollar, but we live a perfectly comfortable middle class life.

[nysmile]

Continue to let her choose her own path.

[pugmadkate]

I'm not sure what professions are stable and well paid anymore.

Amen.

Your daughter will always be thankful for your support. Let her make her own choices. And if she wants to be a lawyer or doctor at 40, law and med schools will still be around then.

[collegealum314]

There's no point in choosing a different path now. She would be better off making this decision after she gets her master's. If she still seems like a rising star, then at that point decide which path to take. She can always do law or medicine later, and she probably get more out of her education (and thus be better positioned for more practical careers) if she is excited about her goal rather than settling.

[ihs76]

She's a college fall semester sophomore. There are many many potential twists and turns before she actually lands in a 'career.' Let her dream. Maybe she has a really hot English Prof now and he makes it seem *so* interesting . I speak as one who ended up in her current area of specialization based on a similar occurrence.

I am in a lucrative professional field, but thought long and hard about continuing in a humanities field where I got an MA. In the end, I decided I didn't want to spend my life immersed in academic minutiae but rather spend it 'helping' people. Now as a middle aged highly skilled professional, having literally saved more lives than I can recall, I am looking for ways to get re-involved with my other field. Not sure yet how this will fall out, but I think it will happen.

Offer her support and if she persists in her chosen path, make sure she does so with her eyes open and knows the pros and cons.