Boomerang Kids

umdclassof80 · 03-07-2012, 05:27 PM

I read that about 85% of college grads are moving back home with their parents after they graduate. How many of you have kids who have moved back home? Or do you know someone who has kids that are back at home?

Personally, I know two college grads who are now living back home with their parents. Both graduated 10 months ago in May. One graduated from vet school and has over $100K in student loans from 8 years of college. She doesn't seem to know what she wants to do at this point. She doesn't work and isn't looking for a job. She doesn't have a car and stays at home while both of her parents work. Her fiance lives 1,000 miles away. It sounds like a very unhealthy situation. Her parents are at their wits end.

The other one graduated from an Ivy league college. He also moved back home, is unemployed, and is not seeking employment. Fortunately, he does not have any student loans because he received a full need-based scholarship. The fact that he is perfectly content to remain unemployed does not seem to bother his mother. She feels that he deserves to have some time off. But, it's been 10 months since he graduated!

What would you do if your child moved back home after college and was not looking for a job?

SteveMA · 03-07-2012, 05:51 PM

I think the important point is "not looking for a job" not so much that they moved home. Pretty much everyone I knew moved home right after graduation even back in the dark ages. Most moved home for a few months to get on their feet and ready to rent an apartment, etc. or they were getting married within a year or so and it was just easier to live at home. Pretty much everyone had jobs or were looking for jobs.

Our oldest is out of college and is living at home. He has a job and is saving to buy a house. Rent here is fairly expensive for one person and he takes care of the house when we go places. He will have enough saved for a house in about 5 or 6 months and then will move out. I don't have a problem with this. Now, if he was hanging out on the couch eating potato chips all day, he would have been tossed out by now

.

PackMom · 03-07-2012, 05:59 PM

Our soon to be grad. will be moving back in with us. He will (hopefully, no assurances yet) be doing an internship required to receive his diploma this summer. The internship has to be unpaid because he's getting college credit for it..ugh. So back to the nest he comes to save money on housing/living expenses. He is not sure what he wants to do once the internship is over but DH will def. not stand for him lounging around the house making no effort to get a job.

Marian · 03-07-2012, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Pretty much everyone I knew moved home right after graduation even back in the dark ages.

Pretty much everyone I know did not. I didn't. My husband didn't. Both of our kids didn't.

Some people I know did spend all or part of the summer after graduation at their parents' homes, but that was because the next step in their lives (usually a job or graduate school) wasn't scheduled to start immediately.

If a college graduate has found a job that starts in July or has been accepted into a graduate program that starts at the end of August, I don't consider the time spent at home between the end of college and the start of this next activity to be a "boomerang." Maybe "gap months" would be a better term.

momofthreeboys · 03-07-2012, 07:07 PM

My son graduated last May and has not come home yet...he's working. If he comes home I'm guessing he only do so if he had a job and he would not live with us. I left right after graduation for another state...with no job in hand in the middle of the late 70s recession but muddled along and found a job.

dentmom4 · 03-07-2012, 07:10 PM

DS09 moved home for a year after graduation. He did not have time to look seriously look into grad school senior year as he was swamped with undergrad work. He got a basic job to pay his expenses and methodically conducted his search. We paid his undergrad, but he was on his own for grad school. He was a gracious 22yr old, but after a year he was ready to leave and move on. He finished his masters and is in his first job. He moved from grad school to employment.

SteveMA · 03-07-2012, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Some people I know did spend all or part of the summer after graduation at their parents' homes, but that was because the next step in their lives (usually a job or graduate school) wasn't scheduled to start immediately.

I guess this is more of what I am talking about. Usually people had to be out of their undergrad apartments shortly after graduation, moved home for a few months until they got a job, moved into their "real" apartments. It was just kind of expected that it would happen this way. I moved home for about 3 weeks between college and my first job. No one really stayed for years.

GladGradDad · 03-07-2012, 07:22 PM

In case you didn't see this recent related thread I'll post the link -

College grad still living at parents home

poetgrl · 03-07-2012, 07:26 PM

Life Inc. - Paychecks for young adults getting slimmer

this might be one reason why?

greenbutton · 03-07-2012, 08:13 PM

More the rule than the exception, hereabouts. The irony of a college town is that rents are so incredibly high (and assume 4-6roommates) that a single person wanting to start out in a studio flat would be crazy to pay that much. So manymany of our 20somethings (my own included) come back, either after graduation or when the money runs out. My son works, pays us rent (which we are banking for him, unbeknownst to him) and is saving for a car. Certainly not my first choice in a perfect world, but I'm not going to mistake it for a serious moral failing on anyone's part, either

BCEagle91 · 03-07-2012, 08:36 PM

I went to work after one year of college and lived at home with my mother and maybe a sister or two. Moved in and out of apartments for a while, moved back home and then got my own place because a job was further than I wanted to commute from.

Son didn't have a job at graduation so he spent a semester in grad school, then a summer doing research, then another semester in grad school and is working now (anyone want to rent out an apartment in Beacon Hill right now?).

amtc · 03-08-2012, 08:49 AM

Here's my rant - these kids are spoiled and have such high standards that they are happier living at home than comprising on a living situation. I would NEVER have moved back home (and my family lived in NYC and I moved into an apartment in NYC). I lived in some real Hell holes, shared apartments, put 3 to a bedroom, whatever it took to be on my own. Please don't tell me it's too expensive for kids to do that today, it's not. There was a time when I was freelancing and had to use up all my savings (including Savings Bonds [remember them?] I got from my grandparents when I was little), I earned so little when I started out I would go to Happy Hours at the bars that had free food along with your drink (Fiddler's Green anyone?) and that was dinner. Ramen noodles was my home cooked meal. I did what I had to do as long as it was legal - well except for the illegal sublet that was my last apartment before moving in with my then boyfriend, now husband.

Our kids like us too much. Except for a transition period my kids know they're not welcome back.

BCEagle91 · 03-08-2012, 08:53 AM

> Except for a transition period my kids know they're not welcome back.

I take it that you have no interest in seeing any grandkids.

amtc · 03-08-2012, 08:54 AM

Very funny BCEagle!

3bm103 · 03-08-2012, 08:56 AM

Our kids don't like us too much. They like the cushy life they've become accustomed to. But I blame the parents. Everytime this topic comes up on CC, there is a steady stream of people saying their baby couldn't possibly live in inadequate housing. Not safe, etc.

You're right. I remember living in a room in a house and sharing a bathroom with 6 other people. One kitchen for the twelve people living there. That would never be okay with a majority of the parents here.