Well, my son boomeranged. He went off to college, wasn't mature enough to hack it, dropped out and moved back in for one semester while halfheartedly going to CC here. After one semester I said, you are wasting time and money, getting awful grades - if your life is going to be whatever you get without an education, might as well start living it now, you have three months to get out.
He got out in one and lived on his own for four years, slowly spiraling downward in a trap of slightly above minimum wage existence. He didn't ask for help but finally he got laid off again (not his fault, it was a general lay off) and could finally really see the dead end he was in no matter how hard he tried to get ahead as a call center worker or produce guy at Walmart. Was finally tired of going from one dead end minimum wage or slightly over job to another. He was also kind of lonely and discouraged - had had two girlfriends dump him rather badly and his cat had died. (which is almost funny, but not really)
I told him he ought to reconsider higher education and if so, we would help him but we couldn't afford to send him off again (no more of those big freshman scholarships like he had the first time) so he'd have to live at home and work to help pay his tuition here.
So he did, and it's amazing what a few years of hard knocks does for their maturity. lol. He's having to retake a lot of courses he got crappy grades in, in order to get into nursing school, but he's so engaged and self motivated now, what a difference.
He gets some financial aid that covers much of his school so we just make him pay his car and phone expense. He helps us out around the house and runs errands or whatever if I need some help. We all get along well and I think my husband appreciates another man in the house - he had to tolerate a highly estrogen centric household for a good while before D left for school. lol.
I don't know if he's embarrassed but sometimes I am - not because I think I should be, but because I'm afraid people will judge us. I mean, oh well if they do, it ain't their life or their kid, but there's such a negative stereotype about the slacker kid. He's not slacking, and never has (he has worked every day since he quit school the first time, has always gotten another job right away whenever he was laid off or if he quit) but he just wasn't driven and ambitious about school when he was 18. And my rule is, I'll help them as long as they behave themselves and need help, but they only get one shot at going off to college. After that, it's plan B, which is live at home and to go local college here, unless they can figure out a way to pay the difference themselves. But him living here with us is the only way we can afford to help him. We have a spare room but not spare money to pay for another roof over his head while he goes to school elsewhere.
Last edited by snapdragonfly; 04-12-2012 at 07:06 AM.