Don't make the less fortunate feel bad with your Ivy sweatshirt!

[HiimCole]

That's ridiculous. Just the entire concept. Think about it, not being able to wear a sweatshirt of a college you will be going to, I'd imagine they wouldn't want people telling their friends they are going to an Ivy either, because that would hurt kids feelings just as much.

I go to school in an area where kids straight up aren't accepted to top universities, so if one of my friends wore an Ivy shirt I wouldn't be mad, I would be happy for them.

Where is the cut off? I'm going to a top 20 non-ivy, would I be able to wear a shirt from that school?


Also, I truly hope the anecdote about your daughter only running one event was just food for thought. If your daughter is good at several events she should be allowed to run in all of them. Why wouldn't the coach want to win? Why wouldn't he let his best runner run? The other athletes have the practices to improve in.

[Consolation]

GFG, you should print out your post and email it to the track coach. I have the feeling he'll change his mind.

[andy09]

This idea is pretty stupid...It seems like from day one the education system completely caters to the "lower achieving". They praise students for mediocrity but try to stifle high achievers? They have a huge signing day for athletes to select and commit to their colleges, but don't let other students who worked hard their whole lives wear a sweatshirt? Getting an acceptance of that caliber should be a tribute to those long hours studying and all the hard work you put in-not something to hide and be ultra secretive about. A student is no worse for not having gotten into an Ivy, but don't take away from those who did-it still is an amazing feat. Wearing a sweatshirt/posting a facebook status isn't an "elitist" act as long as you don't go around purposefully rubbing it in. This whole "everybody's a winner" attitude that perpetuates our secondary high school system leads to entitlement amongst students (which translates to real-world entitlement) and kills the will for students to work hard. After all, why study to get A's when the school will applaud B and C students?
I was accepted to (and currently attending) a flagship state U, but was very happy for my friends who made it to their dream schools.
And its second semester senior year... you go to school to avoid truancy. After April my public school just focused on AP prep and didn't really teach anything.

[artrell]

Wow, I have never knew a coach who was not interested in winning races using the strongest kids. I don't think that is fair to limit her to one race while everyone has two events. At least he could place her in another shorter distance event once in a while to mix things up.
You should check out the more competitive non school teams, they may be a better fit.

[cobrat]

Noticed this policy is also being implemented at the high school I attended. Good luck with that!

All that policy's going to do is provoke student creativity in circumventing the rule....and possibly encouraging more vicious cutthroat competitiveness/"sore winnerism" than what usually prevailed.

The latter has already been pretty bad judging by how some recent alums who graduated in the '00s almost didn't show up to one of our high school's alum nights because they feared being snobbed on for not attending an Ivy or equivalent peer university/LAC due to their high school experiences with the above. And they attended fine schools like UWisconsin-Madison, Macalester, Grinnell, etc.

I also know of other HS classmates/alums who still refuse to attend due to such experiences....including a close HS buddy who graduated from Middlebury.

[MomofWildChild]

TheGFG. That is horrible about track. Enter your daughter in some road races. She would enjoy 5Ks and might get some age group recognition. There are also good private track clubs that nurture all abilities but would never pull something like that.

[prefect]

Some posters seem to think the policy only applies to Ivies. The policy is that students may not wear any college t shirt until May 1. Not saying that either policy is right. However, everyone needs to learn how to be a gracious winner and a gracious loser.

[PennMom2012]

OP, your daughter sounds like a class act. I hope the coach has a change of heart; she should certainly get to do 2 events like her teammates.

I agree the kids should be gracious about their acceptances, but wearing a sweatshirt from the college you were admitted to does not seem to me to be ungracious. My S goes to a public high school where there are only a few acceptances to "elite" schools, but from what I can see the kids seem to be very gracious and celebrate all acceptances with their friends.

Parentofpeople, I had the same thought as you!

[cobrat]

, but wearing a sweatshirt from the college you were admitted to does not seem to me to be ungracious.

Agreed. A reason why this policy strikes me not only as absurd/out of their domain, but also counterproductive in the case of one of the high schools affected from my experiences as an alum.

Also, you'd think that...but some people...not just high school seniors are overly sensitive to wearing college clothing. Caught hell with older relatives because it was still a sore point with cousins who were already hitting late '30's-40s.

In another case, a mid-20-something woman I was starting to date went off on me and summarily left when I walked in wearing clothing from my high school for a coffee date.

Later found from her younger brother and father that she was still sore about it from being forced to turn down admission to my high school 10+ years ago due to having to stay close to home to take care of the little brother. Would have been nice to know that info beforehand.

[ellemenope]

But at the same time, there is a prevalent attitude now that our schools need to engage in social engineering to try to make life "fair" for all.

I think kids are tougher than the schools give them credit for!

[prefect]

Agree that there's nothing wrong with wearing a t shirt from a school that you were accepted to. Some kids also like to wear shirts from schools they might not be attending-maybe someplace they visited, a sibling's school, etc.

[DowneasterDad]

The wearing of a tee-shirt does not define a student. It is not a classless act nor does it rub "winnerism," in the face of peers. It is the student inside the tee-shirt that will determine the "intent." There are some students who will make arrogant snobs of themselves tee-shirt or no tee-shirt. Then, there are those who are merely showing pride in their decision or genuinely displaying happiness in their acceptance. I think the other kids who might be feeling low about their rejections can tell the difference between those who are celebrating and those who are "rubbing it in."

Arbitrarily waiting until May 1st is not solving the problem as it's clear that particular school has competition issues. My D is a senior at a school that hasn't produced many students that went to top tier schools. This year is an aberration as four students will be attending ivies(D included) and 5 will be going to top LACs. Most of those students(my D included) and also alot the kids who were going state wore their apparel the monday after preview week and there was no outrage or posturing. For her school it was seen as a positive because there haven't been enough kids to go through that building with high aspirations for college.

My D is as quiet as they come and keeps her head down at school and gets her work done and I don't see a problem with her wearing a tee-shirt representing the fruits of all her hard work.

What's next, not allowing kids to wear sports apparel of championship teams because it makes the kids who are fans of the other teams feel like losers?

[NJres]

Reading between the lines...

‘Please don’t congratulate students in public, no high fives, no hugging, and please be sensitive so that if you see someone crying, you refer them to the college-adviser office immediately.’ ”

I think the administration is afraid a kid might be driven to suicide watching others celebrate early decision success while they have been rejected.

[cobrat]

I think the administration is afraid a kid might be driven to suicide watching others celebrate early decision success while they have been rejected.

Considering a dean of my HS recounted how an older HS classmate was crying as if a sky was falling at the end of her senior year some years back because she received one -A on a transcript of solid As despite being accepted to ED/EA to Harvard, such fears may not be unfounded. Sounds like some things haven't changed in the last 20 odd years.

[MizzBee]

I seem to recall on another thread (maybe parents of 2012?) that it is tradition that students stop wearing all college attire from the time acceptances come in until May 1st, when they all proudly display their choices. I don't recall that it was punitive, but it did have the advantage of letting emotions simmer a bit after rejections. While I wouldn't want to restrict anyone, I do think that sort of group tradition would have benefits, especially if everyone didn't talk about where they were going, etc. May 1st would be a bit like a surprise party.

In out school, it would be impossible to do since our students would not be able to live through March Madness without wearing colors (though most will not attend the college that they are wearing during that time).