Sigh..educated another parent

[momofthreeboys]

Schools differ with regard to AP and PSAT so make friends with the guidance office. Our school does not administer the PSAT to sophomores...only juniors and only juniors who sign up for it. In our school kids aren't allowed to take AP classes as freshmen but all kids must take the AP test if they take the class (and parents pay for that although there are funds for low income)...so there is no common wisdom for the trajectory of testing within schools across the nation. Generally schools DO TELL kids, through daily announcements, etc. but if you don't have a kid that tells you what is going on then you need to insert yourself into the knowledge loop either by reading the announcements (if they are on-line) or subscribing to a parent e-mail list if the school has such a thing.

[sylvan8798]

It's been my experience through life that one generally has to take charge of such projects oneself. No GC has time to ferret out good schools for every student, arrange visits, figure out finances, yada, yada.

Even now, when S says he is going to meet with his advisor to discuss next semester's courses, he and I sit down with the course offerings and compile a list of classes he thinks will be interesting and fulfill the assorted requirements of core/major/minor, etc. When he meets with the advisor, it's just "ok, looks good to me".

[DowneasterDad]

^^ @momknowsbest3 agreed. This also applies somewhat to college as well. While our children are growing into becoming responsible adults, they, nor we as parents, can relie on the colleges to help walk our kids thru all that must by signed, attended, covered etc. Most colleges will have a great deal to offer by it's on the students to take advantage and therefore up to parents to make sure that if they have the kind of student that will not actively take advantage of college services to make sure they're at least made aware of them. I'm not advocating "butting in," but what I'm saying is know your student and when they need someone to help guide them to seek help or information.

[mamabear1234]

Yes, the PSAT is administered by the school here. It will vary by school. Here, all juniors automatically take it, but a limited number of sophomores can pay to take it also.

[arabrab]

With counselors in many public schools facing student loads of 325-450 kids each, there often isn't a lot of time for hand-holding. Our school used some software to track what percentage of recipients opened the school's monthly newsletter and clicked on at least one article, and the rate was under fifty percent. Did the other fifty percent ever learn about various "getting ready for college" talks? Information about financial aid? Deadlines?

It is a challenge.

[Longhaul]

shob -- Our (private) school handles PSAT sign up for 10th and 11th grade and has the kids take it on a weekday. They also pay the fee. My public district relies on the kids to see the counselor, take the test at a nearby school on a Saturday and the kids pay the fee to the counselor who sends in all materials. NO ON_LINE for PSAT.

The SAT, ACT and SAT subject tests for both our private and public are all done on-line by the student.

OP - Our public school is terrible at College Admissions. The counselor told kids they couldn't get into many schools and discouraged all reaches but the Ivies -- kind of backward. Pushes many to the directional state schools and third tier privates. Our private school is not very good either. Very focused on regional schools and lack of focus on COA.

criz - I have a bit of a different take - Yes CC is a narrow and skewed view. Yes, I know many local kids very happy with their college choices without crazy planning and research. But many of them will not be ok in the long run IMO. Folks in my blue collar, low middle class town, don't blink twice at taking on debt of $40-100k. It is a necessary cost to get to the next level as many are 1st generation college. All the families hear is the earning difference of college educated without thoughts of the restrictions due to debt.

[emilybee]

My son's private school was fabulous regarding all things getting into college - even having a required course for all juniors starting in Jan of that year and going until Dec when all applications were required to be in the GC's office. They did everything from creating lists of schools to visit to working on their essays to final submission of apps. They submitted them in the GC's office with the GC sitting next to them. He also proofed everything. We never even saw our son's apps or essays. All we had to do was take him to visit the schools. This alone was worth the cost of tuition, imo.

The GC is very aware of every school and works very hard getting the right mix to apply to. plus making sure those who need merit aid/FA have schools on their lists which will satisfy that. That may be one of the reasons his school doesn't have a long list of kids going to Ivies or other schools which give no merit/little merit.

[NewHope33]

"I have had similar conversations with parents. It makes me tired, and sad."

Me too. I agree that some parents turn a fairly straightforward process into rocket science. But there are also a lot of parents who assume "the high school knows a lot more about this stuff than me ... I'm gonna let them handle it." Sometimes I feel like asking "If your kid was arrested would you simply leave the kid in jail and ASSUME things would turn out OK?"

[Kitty40]

This thread makes the case for the value in hiring an independent consultant. Too many parents really are clueless about the entire college testing, selection and application process. High school counselors are stretched very thin and don't have the time to focus on the individual needs and best fit for each student.

[DowneasterDad]

@longhaul

Yeah, I cringe when I hear about a hard-working, low income family taking on too much school debt. In most cases they don't have a choice as the student involved might have average stats that don't warrant merit aid. However, it is those families that have exceptional students that don't do their research and just assume they can't afford to send their son or daugther to a top LAC or Ivie and therefore that student aims at the stateflagship(not knocking them as some states have exceptional ones) or marginal, regional school and that student and their family ends up paying 15-30 k more a year when a little research would have landed a possible acceptance and great need-based aid at an Ivy or top LAC. Most uniformed parents just assume that those schools are financially "untouchable," and even when their student shows an interest they just dismiss it and say, "we can't afford X, sorry!" It is these circumstances that make me sad.

[turntabler]

The only thing my parents did was give me financial info; everything else I did myself. It really wasn't hard, just time-consuming.

@DowneasterDad - that is exactly what could have happened to me, and I'm glad CC helped me avoid it.

[DowneasterDad]

@turntabler

good for you Our family only discovered CC after our daughter recieved her first "likely," this past Jan. We were wondering if it was legit and a friend guided us to a cc thread about them. I've been posting/visiting cc ever since even though our D stays away and wishes I would as well. Although it can be sometimes addicting and sometimes controversial I have found the majority of the posters and threads informing.

[vlines]

though our D stays away and wishes I would as well

my S says the same thing, then in the next breath will say

"ask your friends on THAT website about XXXX for me"!

I am actually glad that he is not on this site. It makes me second guess enough, he does not need that. But I am so grateful for all of the help. We would be in that middle class that were taking on way too much debt if it were not for CC. We had no idea that admissions/financial aid/merit aid were not handled the same at each school. Silly us!

The really good thing about CC is that college admissions is not a static process. It is different from year to year, and honestly, from EA to last minute submissions! This site allows for up to the minute feedback and is free.

I am not for a college counselor for our family, but I am a micromanager in my family. I think that there are family's that do need the outside help because of their lifestyle and life experiences. I would be second guessing the college counselor every step of the way. Better that I do it myself!

[intparent]

Our parent association had a get together for parents near the end of 10th grade, and asked parents who had already been throught the college search process to wear a special nametag so people could ask us questions. It was a great idea, and I know I had a lot of conversations that night that helped get people at least started in the right direction. I probably could have put a sign around my neck that said "Fiske" and "College Confidential, but don't let the Ivy League forums discourage you".

[ellemenope]

When my oldest D was a freshman, I read a note in the letter the school administration sent home in the summer asking for parent volunteers to help in the College and Career Center. I answered the call and over the next three years, I learned a lot about colleges, applications, testing, financial aid and scholarships. Not to mention, I got to know the counselors well.

If you have the opportunity to do the same, I'd take it!