It's time for finals and my kid has mono!

redpoint · 06-03-2012, 01:33 PM

The poor kid is a high school sophomore, and for the last few weeks has been feeling run down, has missed a little school, but mostly tries to make it through the day. It's almost time for finals and Regents, and she's not getting any better. Shes miserable and worried about school and feels like she can't do well feeling like this. I feel terrible telling her to keep trying with school when she feels so badly. It sucks that she works so hard at school and her grades are now going to be compromised. The school doesn't know she has mono yet, we just heard from the doctor. I don't know how understanding her teachers will be, and what allowances they will make for her illness.

emeraldkity4 · 06-03-2012, 01:41 PM

That's tough. It can take a long time to recuperate from.
Mono advice-what works?

intparent · 06-03-2012, 01:49 PM

Brap, brap, brap. This is a moment for helicopter parenting, IMHO. Contact the school tomorrow and let them know she has mono. Not sure what the hierarchy is at your school, but at ours I would talk to the assistant principal who deals with a lot of this kind of stuff. Let him know that your D needs to delay taking her finals due to this, and ask if this is possible for her to wait a few weeks to take them. Tell him/her you will contact each teacher individually, but wanted to let him/her know about your daughter's illness. It may be possible for the high school office to administer them for her during the summer even if the teachers are not around.

Yes, it is a headache to catch up on the exams in the summer for everyone, but I would ask. Even if she only gets a couple deferred for a few weeks, it could make a big difference.

We are not from New York (I assume you are, given the Regents exams). Does she have any option to take those exams later? Obviously that is disruptive to her studying and an extra burden at a later date, but it is something to consider to delay one or more of them.

LasMa · 06-03-2012, 02:02 PM

Yes, it's definitely time to get up close and personal with the school. I'd bypass the individual teachers and go straight to the administration.

Also, you may need documentation from her doctor at some point, so you may want to get that ball rolling in the morning.

I hope she's on the mend very soon.

redpoint · 06-03-2012, 02:05 PM

Thanks for the advice and sympathy, and the reading from emerald. This sucks. I will be on the phone tomorrow.

parent1986 · 06-03-2012, 02:07 PM

I would first ask my child if they would prefer to talk with the administration and encourage her to. The school won't discuss her illness with you without the appropriate forms in place.

Kids are no longer kept out of school routinely with mono. The major concern is the spleen and that it not be damaged, so sports are contraindicated.

Hope she feels better and does well on her finals!

WordWorld · 06-03-2012, 02:38 PM

Redpoint, you and your D have my sympathies! My S was diagnosed last fall and missed a lot of school. He was able to go to "important" classes and skipped and came home whenever it was just a filler class or otherwise less important. I agree entirely that this is a moment for helicoptering.
One thing, be sure not to have your D take antibiotics. My S was first diagnosed with strep and was given a blood test for mono (takes a few days). The doctor prescribed antibiotics for the throat, which should have been immediately stopped when the mono diagnosis came in two days later. It turns out (and it is widely known, check medical sources on the internet) that antibiotics are contraindicated in mono cases because they routinely cause a massive allergic reaction (as in up to 97% of the cases). I cannot describe my outrage at the doctor in our family practice who first prescribed them in a possible mono case and then failed to follow up to discontinue the meds once the test was positive. After about 5 days, S ended up with a horrible allergic reaction (like a very bad case of chickenpox) that required five days of steroids and a follow up with the head of the practice, who indicated that the doctor at issue was being disciplined. Needless to say, we will never go back to that doctor. S is doing much better but it was several months before he felt entirely healthy.
I agree, lots of fluids, chicken soup, rest.
((((HUGS))))

Nrdsb4 · 06-03-2012, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Brap, brap, brap. This is a moment for helicopter parenting, IMHO. Contact the school tomorrow and let them know she has mono.

I tend to lean more towards the non helicopter role for parents. But I totally agree with you. This is a high school sophomore who is really sick - mono can be very debilitating- and she needs her parents to step up and advocate for her.

I would be looking for any and every accommodation for her. Extra time for everything. When my daughter had mono, it was very tough going, and hers hit right after school was out, so no comparison here.

Good luck. I hope the OP's daughter has a speedy and restful recovery.

intparent · 06-03-2012, 02:44 PM

Whether to have the kid talk to the administrator... I would do that as a parent for a sophomore. Some administrators are jerks... the kid may downplay their illness... a lot of things can go wrong in that conversation. I would tell my kid I was doing it, of course. But I personally would not have the kid do this.

Nrdsb4 · 06-03-2012, 02:44 PM

Quote:

I would first ask my child if they would prefer to talk with the administration and encourage her to. The school won't discuss her illness with you without the appropriate forms in place.

Why would the school refuse to speak to a parent about a probable 15 or 16 year old minor child?!

SteveMA · 06-03-2012, 02:59 PM

Our DD missed a lot of school at the beginning of the year due to illness and the school was more than accommodating. At our school if you call the school nurse and let her know what is going on she will tell you want you need to do. In our case we just needed a note from her dr and all of her absences were excused. The teachers were fantastic about make-up work too. She missed a total of 3 full weeks of school and 15 partial days all before Christmas break so it was a lot of school. Even with the make up work though, her grades dipped, not terribly but enough.

parent1986 · 06-03-2012, 03:01 PM

Sorry, I read that as college sophomore.

Lakemom · 06-03-2012, 03:06 PM

I don't get the helicopter parent part at all. Since when does a 15 or 16 year old who is ill call the school and relay what the doctor has told them to do about missing school.

Our HS phone in sick call line is entirely worded towards parents who are making the call. "If your ill student is in 10th grade then push 2"

If the student were a senior, then calling/emailing teachers would make more sense but unless they are over 18 a parent makes the sick call in.

Nrdsb4 · 06-03-2012, 03:16 PM

Quote:

I don't get the helicopter parent part at all. Since when does a 15 or 16 year old who is ill call the school and relay what the doctor has told them to do about missing school.

At D's school, once the student is in high school (it's a pre-K to 12 private school), the parent's role is usually limited to calling the school to confirm an illness. It's the student's responsibility as a high school student to arrange the "what to do about it" part, NOT the parent's. My kids were certainly able to handle that in most circumstances.

But anything severe, whether accident or illness, calls for parental intervention. Mono can be really be debilitating, so that's a situation where I know I would have stepped in.

compmom · 06-03-2012, 03:21 PM

With medical documentation, the school should provide any accommodation that enables your daughter to do her best work.

I would ask for the school to send homework assignments, information on what was done in class, any classwork on paper, readings, and even tests or quizzes home so that she can try to keep up. That way, she can go in and out as her energy allows, and also work at home when not able to be in school.

For papers and projects she should get extra time to do them, or incompletes to finish in the summer. I don't know much about Regents exams but our state's standardized testing has make-ups.

Find out who the school 504 coordinator is. Often it is the principal.

At the high school sophomore level, this should not be a disaster, but fairly easily dealt with.