Moving when youngest is in college - Page 2

mathmom · 06-11-2012, 07:03 PM

My son would consider being 20 minutes away from his friend a big pain. They too are last minute planners. But he would get over it and so will your son. I agree a big dose of sympathy is in order, but you do what is right for you.

Rob1995 · 06-11-2012, 07:11 PM

I don't mean to be a jerk, but he REALLY needs to suck it up. I grew up in a family where we had to move every 2 to 4 years for my step-father's job - sometimes halfway across the country. Yeah, I didn't really look forward to moving every time it happened - but hey, I survived.

jym626 · 06-11-2012, 07:15 PM

My s's lived 30 miles from school so their friends lived all over the place. Getting together took planning but not all that much. They were both in heaven when they lived on campus in college and realized how cool it was to have friends so close by. It's all a matter of what they are used to, but your s will adapt. My DH turned older s's bedroom into an office. That took a little getting used to when he came home for visits, as he now uses the guest room. Change can take some work. But as others have said, acknowledge the angst for him , reassure him that he always has a place to stay and help him look at the fun side o a move.

arabrab · 06-11-2012, 07:17 PM

I'm in the "twenty minutes???" category. We drove nearly that far to get D to high school, and she had many, many friends all through school that lived farther away. That isn't a barrier of any import.

Congratulations on finding the right house.

mommamocha · 06-11-2012, 07:24 PM

How exciting that you have found "The House". Your son will adjust. A twenty minute drive is short. Plus it will allow him to cultivate some planning skills.

If he is in college then he isn't home most of the year anyway. My guess is also that one summer he may find a job or internship close to school. Start packing and be excited for the next chapter of your life!!

Seahorsesrock · 06-11-2012, 07:33 PM

Big dose of sympathy? Egad sons being a whiney brat. And maybe he and his adult friends will have to join the world of grownups where plans are actually made.

Lives change and it's important to learn to cope and not try any control others until ou adjust.

jym626 · 06-11-2012, 07:37 PM

A whiny brat? Ouch. That's a bit strong.

Seahorsesrock · 06-11-2012, 07:43 PM

Yes it's strong but he doesn't want to have parents have a better life because it might inconvenience his fun time...yeah thats a whiny brat. All about him. Sometimes we parents need a reality check of how we don't need to make it all about the kids, especially the adult ones in college. Most adults wino care aboutnparents would have said awesome mom and dad, You can count on me to help you move

2bornot2bivy · 06-11-2012, 07:43 PM

On the other hand DD keeps asking me when we are going to sell the now oversized 6 bedroom house and move to something smaller so we stop wasting so much energy....

Tiredofsnow · 06-11-2012, 07:49 PM

Maybe he just needs some time to get used to the idea. Some of us dislike change, good or bad, especially when it comes out of the blue.

We moved when both of ours were in college - after my D's first year, moved from Texas to Alaska, and after my S's second year, moved from Alaska to Australia. They survived.

jym626 · 06-11-2012, 07:55 PM

Seahorses,

As others have said above, just because that is what he said, it may not be what he means. It might be a difficult adjustment. It shouldn't prevent her from moving, but no need to call her son names, IMO.

Seahorsesrock · 06-11-2012, 08:04 PM

Omg difficult to come home to a house 20minutes away? Seriously.?

She asked what we parents thought and he reacted like an year old. Sometimes parents need to snap out of it. No one is dying. No one getting divorce. His first reaction was how it would make him work a wee bit harder to hang out with his friends.

Mom wanted to let go of feeling bad and if she reads that some people think her kid needs to be happy for her and not get all pouty. He's a grown man.

vlines · 06-11-2012, 08:08 PM

Actually, we moved when my son was one year old, and he handled it much better than OP's son! LOL

in all seriousness, I am sure part of his reaction is to change and losing his childhood home. Part of it may be selfishness...

limabeans · 06-11-2012, 08:20 PM

In 1980, my mom across the country when my brother was a sophomore in college. My siblings and I had already graduated, so he was the one hold-out. My mom felt SO guilty, but moved anyway. I think my brother was in a tizzy at first, although he wouldn't dare have a hissy fit about it. My mom moved to an area that was essentially a retirement community, so finding a job post-grad would also be quite challenging.

In the end, he moved down south with my oldest brother, his GF came too, and eventually they married. They are happily together after nearly 30 years and everything worked out for the best.

I'm tempted to move to a smaller house, just to get the message to our kids that it's time they became independent.

I'm guessing it will all work out just fine. There will be a period of adjustment, but soon it will be the "new normal". Lucky you to have found "the" perfect house.

Iron Maiden · 06-11-2012, 08:20 PM

Oh good grief! Tell DS to put his big boy pants on and suck it up. 20 minutes? And tears!? Wow...

My parents moved me the summer before my Sr year in High School and then twice while I was in college. These were moves states away. Kid gets NO sympathy from me!

So do what is right for you.