Are private prestigious high schools really worth it??

[compmom]

"In the real world, at least at the beginning of a career, HYPS helps alot... "

This is a bit of a tangent, but just want to respond that a lot of Harvard grads do anything to avoid saying they went to Harvard. They are not being coy. In the real world, there is prejudice and resentment against grads from Harvard, and perhaps other schools. Yes, it is an asset in certain elite employment or social contexts, but I wouldn't say in the "real world." And the expectations of brilliance can be a huge burden.

[Whatdidyou]

"I think in general, the CC crowd really does not understand how the other half lives. Insensitive comments like "I went to public school my whole life and never had to deal with 'starving' classmates making me uncomfortable lol" demonstrate an astounding degree of misconnection with reality...No, those of you in the wealthy suburbs may never have been "made to feel uncomfortable" by sitting next to a hungry classmate, "lol" indeed."

JC annasdad! Calm down, i meant no offense; obviously today more than ever people are struggling. And you're right in that there are kids who are hungry out there. But overall, high schoolers are quite well fed (Yes, even in public schools). And even if it is a bigger problem in certain areas, In most areas I sincerly doubt it would be a big enough problem to the extent that little Johnny or Susie would even recognizine or be effected by it. Even if they do, it'd be a good learning experience for them and not something that should be expressly avoided by not changing schools.

I did in fact go to public school for my whole life (except middle school) and never had to deal with that.

My post was directly responding to another poster who suggested a change is schools would result in a "shocking" effect due to underfed classmates.

I have a tendency to think that some of the "CC crowd" have a tendency to think that public schools are a lot worse than they really are (they're actually quite good in my experience).

[Eightisgreat]

It is pretty reverse where we live. I know kids in private schools (not elite ones, but private schools, like Catholic schools) who carry 4.0s with little effort. However, in the public schools, a 3.5 unweighted gets you in the top 10% (if it is all from AP and preAP courses) and less than a 3.0 gets a student in the top quartile.

[dheldreth]

"I have a tendency to think that some of the "CC crowd" have a tendency to think that public schools are a lot worse than they really are (they're actually quite good in my experience). "

I see this too. I am a public high school Biology teacher - not a burned out zombie one, but a darn good one if I say so myself . I teach in our IB program, and both my daughters earned the IB diploma in high school. They went (one is still there) to a rigorous LAC. They actually saw the opposite of what others are saying here. Because of IB, they hit the ground running in college, their high school curriculum gave them the skills to be successful. Going to public high school put them in the minority. Most students at their private (and expensive) LAC went to private schools - their college seems very enamored with private school kids. A lot of them seem to struggle with college first semester. And they are very sheltered. My daughter's public HS is quite diverse - about 45% black, 45% white, 10 % other. I joke that there is a group for everyone - the regular sports, show choir, band, academic teams, but also a gay lesbian alliance org, tree huggers club, guitar club, film making club, chess club, zombie apocolypse club, etc. My daughters thanked me for sending them to public school, because they felt that learning to be around all kinds of people is also a part of education. They don't fear students who are hungry, or may even be homeless - in fact, one such student who I taught 4 years ago will be starting med school this fall.

I post this in defense of public schools - not to judge your choice. I think all parents have to decide what works best for their children and family.

[ucbalumnus]

Originally Posted by Whatdidyou

"We pay over $35,000/yr for high school tuition,"

That statement is insane (to me). Very hard for me to comprehend someone paying that much money.

Apparently, there are enough who will pay that much that is seems to be the going rate for many private schools in California (not the Catholic ones, which are significantly less expensive), including some which do not appear to be especially elite academically (based on their course offerings not being any more extensive than decent public schools' offerings).

[busdriver11]

"My daughters thanked me for sending them to public school, because they felt that learning to be around all kinds of people is also a part of education."

Is that really, honestly true? You actually remember them thanking you for that?

I have no issue with many public schools whatsoever, while there are some specific schools that I'd have a problem sending my kids to. For those schools, I can't see my kids saying, "Thanks Mom, for allowing me to learn how to get along with gang bangers, bullies, and kids who don't care about even showing up for school." But making general assumptions about kids who go to private or public schools is not fair. You may not care for the skin colors of children who go to private schools, but I guarantee you there are all types. There are plenty of kids with challenges, struggles, and low income (yes, there are many scholarships) who go to private schools.

[annasdad]

dheldreth, there are certainly public HSs where a student can get a good education. There are also public HSs that are a disgrace. The HS in my hometown is in the latter category - no IB / AP / honors courses, one English teacher for 125 kids, no academic electives, and generally very low standards. So, yes, I pay to send my kids elsewhere (though far, far less than $35,000 a year!).

[3togo]

That being said, if I can afford it, I will send my kids to a private school!

My wife and I took a different approach ... we spent the "private school money" to live in a town with terrific public schools ... and we believe we got the best of both worlds (with some of the worst also). There certainly are unmotivated kids at my kid's HS but there are plenty of motivated ones also ... with much less entitlement than a private high school ... and much more diversity (race, socio-economic status, academic ability, disabilities, and behavioral abilities (this is a con and a pro)).

[jym626]

A friend's daughter went to Harvard-Westlake and had a LOT going for her, and still did not get into the top schools your son aspires to. The reality is, those schools have single digit acceptance rates, so gettign in is a dram for everyone. IF your son is at a great school, is getting a great education , and he loves it and you can afford it, then all is good. He will get into a good school, but broaden your target schools so he has a balance of reach, match and likelys.

[jym626]

Oops for the typos above. But you get my drift.

[Bill73]

ialah

Harvard's admissions process isn't as black and white as you think. A girl from my school went there, and she only scored around a 30 on the ACT. Yes, she finished first in her high school graduating class, but our school wasn't anything special - no Calculus , and no AP courses.

Honestly, I think the primary reason she got in is we're located in a rural part of Illinois, and Harvard likely had no one else from around here applying.

[Dukes21]

" Is that really, honestly true? You actually remember them thanking you for that?"

My daughter did...several times over the course of her senior year and again on her graduation night a few weeks ago. We could afford and initially wanted her to go to private school. She wanted to go to the large public school and thrived, underfed kids and all. Got into ivies and is attending one of the schools in CC's top 20 list. Our friends with kids in privates have so-I-didn't-need-to-pay-all-this-tuition-envy. I actually remember them saying that.

As an aside, I find it ironic that my friends who don't want to send their kids to schools with "underfed" kids then brag about their private school's community service program -- working in soup kitchens, etc.

If your son is happy and you can afford the current school, I can't imagine yanking him. I'd say our public school gets about 10 or so unhappy private school kids a year and I assume 10 or so unhappy public school kids go to privates a year. I agree with the posters who said not to use college as the determining factor.

[annasdad]

Originally Posted by Bill

Honestly, I think the primary reason she got in is we're located in a rural part of Illinois, and Harvard likely had no one else from around here applying.

That may well have something to do with it. I'm also from rural Illinois, and last year a young man from a high school in a nearby town got admitted to Harvard. I know the kid and his mother casually, and I was surprised - as were the kid, his parents, and the counselors at his school. He was certainly an accomplished student, but no top-drawer ECs (I think the only things he did were band, math club, and NHS). He applied pretty much on a lark, not expecting to get in; in fact, he was accepted early to UIUC and was telling everyone that was where he was going, and was floored when the big envelope from Harvard came.

[Bill73]

Annasdad,

I was shocked to hear that this girl was accepted at Harvard too. She was co-valedictorian with a future doctor that ended up at UIUC, and everyone in our high school used to joke around and say that he was smarter than her and more likely to succeed.

And even more strange, (and this may show that h.s. GPA is a better predictor of academic success than test scores), she did well enough at Harvard and on the LSAT to get into their law school.

[JHS]

"My daughters thanked me for sending them to public school, because they felt that learning to be around all kinds of people is also a part of education."

Is that really, honestly true? You actually remember them thanking you for that?

I moved my kids from a great private school to a differently great public school, for a variety of reasons. The transition was very hard on my older child who moved for 11th grade. In the end, though, she very much had the attitude of dheldreth's daughters. She said, "At [private school], we looked diverse, but it was anything but diverse. People agreed on almost everything, and when we had a discussion it was really a competition to see who could say what we all thought most elegantly. I never imagined the diversity of experiences my public school classmates had. It was really important for me to get to know them. Also, there were lots of times in class when I knew that if I didn't speak up for what I believed, no one else would express that point of view, and I had to assume that most people would disagree with me, some strongly. It was a completely different experience. I'm not sure I loved changing schools, but I loved that aspect of it."