The college experience: how romantic?

[lookingforward]

Met DH in grad school.
I see the residential college period as a transition from home to young adulthood, a chance to explore, make more of your own choices (and mistakes,) learn more responsibility for onesself, and be exposed to more than the same old patterns and sorts of people in the home community. All while someone is still providing a roof, a bed and meals. (In addition to my expepctations for their academic and intellectual growth.)

We have to face that, for many kids, the residential experience is a privilege. Not all families can afford this wondrous time.

[Marsian]

Romantic? That's not the word I'd use. Rather, it was a wonderful, exciting, intellectually challenging four years during which I made the transition from being a teenager to being an independent adult. I didn't go out of state, but just living away from home and having to do things on my own was sufficient to help me make that transition.

[poetgrl]

Yes, OP, I think the "college experience" is romanticized on CC, and in many communities around the country. I get that you don't mean romantic as in "Love" but as in the romantic period.

I also think a part of the college experience is being disabused of this romantic notion of reality. I've certainly seen my oldest become much more realistic about life as the years have gone by for her in school. It's part of, not all of, but part of growing up.

Given that the phrase "dream school" is tossed around on CC, and in life, so often, I can't figure out how anyone would think the whole thing isn't "romanticized."

[weatherga]

As the parent of a college freshman (HS class of 2012, now college class of 2016) I have sure noticed the difference a year makes. Last fall during the application process it was all about "fit" and dreams. This fall, the rush of moving onto campus has given way to the ups and downs of adjusting to college life. This process has been much bumpier for some than others, but it seems like almost all freshman experience some rough patches. Difficulties include homesickness, academic struggles, changes of major, roommate troubles, romantic breakups.

It makes sense that we don't want to send our young people off to college weighted down with apprehension. Also, just the fact that most of us parents have largely positive memories of college shows that most survive these first semester ups and downs and go on to a successful college experience. But yes, we do romanticize it a bit.

[MaineLonghorn]

I know I've romanticized my time in college. A lot of it was fun, but I remember sobbing at different times! Especially the semester after my fiance dumped me and I struggled with my engineering classes. That sucked.

[Catria]

And yes, I really do mean the "romantic period", even though I have only fragmentary knowledge of the romantic period.

Away-from-home experience seems to be idealized in the eyes of many a CCer, especially among the "best-and-brightest" crowd that seems to form the majority of the CC crowd.

[Pizzagirl]

Where are you heading with this, Catria? Yes, for some people it's idealized. For some people, it's just not financially feasible, so they are going to have to just not have that experience.

[Marian]

Also, some people simply do not want to go away from home. Some would prefer to commute. Some don't object to living on campus, but they want to be within an hour or two of home and they may plan to come home often.

As long as there is an academically suitable school nearby, I don't see a problem with this.

The "typical college experience" that appeals so much to some students does not appeal to others. People differ. And that's fine.

[Pizzagirl]

Exactly. Indeed, most students in the nation really don't want to go more than a relatively short driving distance from home. Not my set of priorities, but what's it to me?

[SinkOrSwim123]

at least, definitely not romantic for freshman year

[flyaround]

OP, I hope it is as wonderful as you envision but I bet you also know that often big decisions don't turn out as you expect them to. That isn't to say that you don't go down an interesting and often wonderful path, it just that it isn't the path you had in your mind's eye. Sometimes the value is not revealed until years later. This may be your first major decision but there are many more to follow. And if you can't do what you want to do because of constraints or situations that you can't control, that's ok too. You make the best choice you can given your options and go with that.

[Gwen Fairfax]

I think yes, very romantic, in the classical sense. You're in a small city made up almost entirely of young people. You have a furnished room, 3 meals a day, and more freedom than you've ever had in your life, or are likely to have again. You are studying something you chose, and your main responsibility is to be true to yourself and your own aspirations. You're sitting in the library window studying and you see that intriguing young man/woman scuffing home across campus in the lamplight....etc. etc. etc. Of course there is disappointment and uncertainty and sometimes heartbreak. But you're so young that there's always another chance. That's the very definition of romantic for me.

[07DAD]

Gwen-- that is the CC fantasy college experience for a small percentage of economically well-off students. As gets mentioned repeatedly, most college kids are at home or attend nearby and work while attending college because they have to.

I have a friend whose granddaughter was a full tuition need-based student. She still had to work two jobs and really viewed the experience as a means to a better end, not anything "romantic in the classical sense."

[Beliavsky]

Originally Posted by Gwen Fairfax

I think yes, very romantic, in the classical sense. You're in a small city made up almost entirely of young people. You have a furnished room, 3 meals a day, and more freedom than you've ever had in your life, or are likely to have again. You are studying something you chose, and your main responsibility is to be true to yourself and your own aspirations. You're sitting in the library window studying and you see that intriguing young man/woman scuffing home across campus in the lamplight....etc. etc. etc. Of course there is disappointment and uncertainty and sometimes heartbreak. But you're so young that there's always another chance. That's the very definition of romantic for me.

This is such an appealing vision that it entices to college many young people who do not have the desire or even the ability to study at the college level (as Charles Murray explains in the book "Real Education"). I wonder how the path starting with an entry level job open to high school graduates can be made more appealing. If it is not, the advice to "get a job" will seem much harsher to 18-year-olds than "go to college", and many will go for the wrong reasons and not get much out of it.

[Catria]

I could live the "college experience" as described by Gwen... as a graduate student. If York accepts me and that I attend, that is.

Fully funded; $1,400 a month to live with.