Have you made MAJOR sacrifices to pay for college?

[sylvan8798]

Originally Posted by romanigypsyeyes

If only more parents were like this! We'd see less heartbreaking "my parents refuse to pay" threads on the FA forum

Really? Personally I find it nauseating. Nothing against zooserdad.

[mini]

There are men (and women) who make extreme sacrifices who don't realize it. I know attorneys who work 80 hours a week, make hundreds of thousands each year, and who don't even know their kids. Advertising execs the same. I'm sure there are doctors and corporate honchos and salespeople for whom that is the same. (and some don't even like the fact that they have kids at all - they don't see it as a sacrifice to be away from the house.)

When I was a book publisher, I regularly worked 80 hours a week, and actually gave it up so I could be with the kids (we homeschooled). When I cut to only 40 hours, I felt semi-retired (and wrote 11 books in 10 years on the side.) Anyhow, that "sacrifice" (working fewer hours and bringing in less income), probably paved the way for my kids' academic success, and their college rentals.

[BCEagle91]

> When I was a book publisher, I regularly worked 80 hours a week, and actually gave
> it up so I could be with the kids (we homeschooled).

Sounds like me. Except for the book publisher part. Missed several years where the kids could have used more of me but we did have external help from time to time. The upside was that paying for a college was a breeze.

[romanigypsyeyes]

Really? Personally I find it nauseating. Nothing against zooserdad

It's nauseating to be thrilled about doing something good for your children? Interesting.

[tom1944]

I worked a second job from 3am to 6am everyday for 6 years. After I left that job I took a second job working from 3 am to 6am but only 5 days a week. I did that for a year. I then took a second job with a flexible schedule where I worked 20 hours a week. That job lasted 2+ years.

D graduated with no loans and was lucky to land a great job.
It pales in comparison to my dad who paid for 21 years of college by working two jobs.

[Pianomom12]

Goodness yes. Moved twice to accommodate a change in schools. First time to a much smaller location but it was as close to campus as possible so that biking could take the place of driving. Adjusted my work schedule significantly to help with transportation needs. Put parts of my life on hold to ensure that all requisite college expenses were met. And let's not forget what each of us has likely done...hoped and prayed that each of our children learned the lessons we taught them growing up so that the decisions they make in college -- and because of our sacrifices -- were all worth it.

[bungalowdweller]

Like several others here we were a homeschooling family but I didn't work outside of the home. After my only D was born we moved from the DINK lifestyle living in a nice condo to one salary in a working class town. Our 90 year old house is small by today's standards. We're a one car family--my husband takes the subway downtown every day. We never had cable. We never took a vacation out of town until the summer my girl was traveling looking at colleges. I cooked all of the family meals and we rarely ate out. Living where many would consider " the wrong side of the tracks" allowed me to buy and fully fund our state's 529. We purchased 9 semesters of undergrad tuition which I consider to be one of the best investments we ever made. I don't consider any of this some "extraordinary" sacrifice. We did what we had to do and are proud that we can send our girl to school without heavy debt. I was an orphan who worked my way through both undergrad and grad school. My husband was a refugee who did the same. This is the American way. All the sacrifices we all make are worth it. It's one of the greatest accomplishments of my life.

[wis75]

No extreme sacrifices. In my day I should have spent more on books in college and medical school. I sometimes wondered how much more enjoyable college would have been if I had the time for more academics as an undergrad instead of working. I think my mother's going to work when I entered medical school and my younger sibling started college was an excuse to do something as much as for the income. In my childhood the social norm was the husband could provide for his family without his wife needing to work- a terrible waste of so many women's intellectualism (no second car to get to the library or computers back then). Maybe Wisconsin public schools are much better than in other states- they met/meet gifted students' needs- I can't imagine giving up the benefits for the limitations of home schooling.

[lake42ks]

It's not my kids' decision. My husband is functionally illiterate and there is nothing in this world that would stop him from making sure his kids get educated.

Many value what they don't have. Same goes to a good education or a better college.

"This is tough." - That has a new meaning now that I have a kid in college for the first time.

[FinanceGrad]

"We never took a vacation out of town until the summer my girl was traveling looking at colleges."

Do you mean you never took your kids out of town at all? I'm sorry but I just can't help thinking how many life enriching opportunities you missed with your kids. I am from an immigrant family and we were not middle class when I was growing up. However, several times a year my dad would pile a bunch of camping gear and canned food into our old car and go see places around the country. We mostly went to national parks, but also visited many major cities and national landmarks.

[BCEagle91]

> Maybe Wisconsin public schools are much better than in other states- they met/meet
> gifted students' needs- I can't imagine giving up the benefits for the limitations of home
> schooling.

There's quite a wide variety of homeschooling settings.

Massachusetts has arguably one of the best school systems if you go by NAEP scores yet there's a pretty vibrant homeschooling community in the state. Massachusetts also has the highest percentage of adults with college degrees at 49.6%.

A parent wouldn't necessarily have to give up work to homeschool. Parents could just hire tutors to teach their kids or do the split-schedule thing. One of my sisters did the split-schedule thing with her husband to deal with childcare issues and they didn't homeschool - but they had to take their kids to various things. They had work schedules that allowed them to do this and they didn't get to see each other that much but you do what you have to.

One well-known case of homeschooling is the Williams Sisters that achieved the pinnacle of their sport. Would they have accomplished that with homeschooling? Doubtful as they wouldn't have had the time to practice as much as they did.

I know a couple, both college professors that homeschooled two daughter to considerable success. They arranged their schedules to work around homeschooling.

Many homeschoolers, of course, do not have these options; but that doesn't mean that every homeschooler has the limitations that you imply.

[mini]

I didn't see ANY limitations to homeschooling, and, apparently, in our case, the colleges didn't either. I have also done paid consulting for colleges on homeschoolers and, in every case, the first question is 'how do we get more of them?'

But perhaps that's another forum.

[bucasmom]

Back to the original question- Major sacrifices? I guess the definition of sacrifice varies with the user. Well, we knew that would have to save for our son's college since we assumed we would not be eligible for grants, and being older parents, we did not want to start retirement with loans. Does making the decision to have only one child because of the expense of educating them count as a sacrifice? Some people might think that way. We think of it as a choice. Tuition at our state flagship was about the same as daycare for an infant. It was an early wake up call! (tuition is more than daycare now).We started saving for college when he was 6 months old.

[VTmom92]

I would definitely consider a second job as an EXTREME sacrifice. I don't know how on earth I would ever get any sleep if I had to work two jobs. My job is all-comsuming as it is!

I am lucky as I do make a good salary, and so far, I have not had to tap my retirement plan. I told my son that that was not an option, and he would have to get a job before I would even consider doing that. The one thing that comes to mind, as far as sacrifices, is vacations. I have not taken one since August 2009 - when he started looking at colleges and I was forced to started looking at costs!

[BCEagle91]

> I don't know how on earth I would ever get any sleep if I had to work two jobs.
> My job is all-comsuming as it is!

There are a lot of painful things in life that can be endured by knowing that there's an end point.