13 yr old Son ADD?/ what about tesitng accomodations?

[mom60]

calmom-your point of how we as parents react is an important one. One of the things that came out of our testing was that son would benefit from some therapy sessions. He had some alone and we went to some with him. Son and I both needed someone else to help us see the other person's side. We worked out some compromises in the homework routine.
I am like Calmom someone who is disorganized but know exactly where to find something. I can't tell you where it is but by some sort of rader I know where it is.

Whether you try meds. or not you should look into some sort of educational therapist. That way it is someone else telling them to get organized. To clean out the binder. How to study for a test. It will take some of the stress out of the home.
Good luck to you

[SBmom]

Mom60,

Having someone else ride herd on this stuff would be a 80% reduction in stress for me. I absolutley hate being the "jailer" as well. I think we'll get good help at his school (they took the lead here and suggested testing so he can qulaify for the more intensive help.)

I also sense there will be other modes of learning (a la the various intelligences) that will really be fruitful for my son. He is incredibly musical and basically whipped through preparing for his recent Bar Mitzvah with very little trouble-- including learning to read massive quantities of Hebrew-- because it was "singing." He can hear a phrase of complicated guitar picking and duplicate it quite easily. His vocabulary is off the charts & writing skills are equally good. And he is a really deep, loving, kind, sensitive kid. All of this is in the "plus" column if we can figure out how to get him through the requisite steps of organization and study skills.

Or, perhaps there are other schools with more appropriate curricula that would be a better match for him? Anyone have experience with going to an alternative school?

[emeraldkity4]

I am of the school that hates medication but admits that sometimes it is vital for function that even approaches "normal".
We have tried expensive and time consuming nutritional supplements and special diets, behavior mod etc, but medication is the only thing that even can get my family to the place that behavior mod and coaching help.
ADD is a spectrum, it is true that possibly some children can develop strategies to work without medication, just as some diabetics can adjust diet and exercise not to need insulin, but for many with ADD or depression or any brainchemical disorder, medication is vital to their health and well being and it is harmful to suggest that they can "get along without it".
My oldest daughter attended a private school that excelled in differentiated curriculum and support for all students so that a diagnosis was not critical to her success. However we did get her diagnosed and she took SATs extended time to alleviate some pressure to rush through. Schools do not any longer see that the student had "accomodations", however I believe you will get the best fit at a school if you are upfront with students needs.
Additionally my younger daughter attended an "alternative" school, and it had some strengths such as increased time spent on arts and music, but we found students attracted to alternative schools often need flexibilty within structure, yet teachers drawn to these schools do not have structure and consistency on their priority list.
She has since changed to a traditional high school, albeit very well supported by staff and parents and is doing much better now that expectations are made clearer.
This is a great online resource for students parents and teachers .
http://www.ldonline.org/article.php?max=20&id=0&loc=87

[ckr1147]

My DS, 18, was diagnosed in 8th grade with ADHD Inattentive, meaning no hyperactivity, just "zoning out" (think absent minded professor!) - he also has some processing problems, writes (actually prints) very slowly, virtually "no" organizational skills...because he was not a behavior problem, everyone (parents included) thought he just didn't care, was lazy, etc. It is so difficult to understand someone whose thinking/processing is so different from your own.
We went thru pschologist, psychiatrists, etc. trying to figure it out...even the school did not think he had ADD - finally we went to an expert at Yale (lived in CT at the time) at the time..and the results of his tests showed it clearly...
When a child is very bright, and not a behavior problem, he/she can often get thru the elementary years just fine...but as the organizational demands become greater they start to fail and it is very distressing to everyone.
We have struggled for years with homework issues, etc. I can relate to mom60's
S who takes all weekend to do a project. My S has had many of those!!
Calmom is very astute with her comments - especially about stress, yelling, etc...even today, S has told me that if I "nag" him about his work, he feels more distracted, not more focused (guess this could be an excuse...but our psych has said the same - "mom, you need to quit mjicromanaging" - hard habit to break!)
S has a 504 plan in place and two of the biggest helps are extra time on tests (used infrequently, but when he does, it is typically for math, or anything that requires an essay), and keeping an extra set of books at home. I can't tell you how many times that has saved S. All of his teachers have e-mail now....so we do stay in touch with them frequently and get "heads up" when there are issues.
He was never on Ritalin...was on Adderall for a few years - then earlier this year we switched to Strattera...it has made the most difference. He takes it twice a day - before school and when he gets home - so that eliminates the need to go to the nurse at school - many kids hate that.
S. still struggles with homework issues...and has trouble maintaining focus on subjects that don't interest him...it has definitely affected his grades, unfortunately. But, at 18, he has to take charge of his own life and start learning to set his priorities.
We are still seeing a psych on a monthly basis...one of the *big* issues with S and many ADHD kids is that they can be emotionally immature - and can lag 2-4 years behind in emotional development...and have lots of trouble setting priorities. We still have time when we remove S's computer and PS2 to eliminate distractions. I know that sounds very "babyish" but the impulse control for some of these kids is just not there. Playing games/talking with friends is ever so much more enjoyable than doing math problems. Risk taking behavior is often a sign of ADHD with Hyperactivity.
S is quite nervous about college and we are investigating schools that have support services.
Two books I found very helpful were by Chris Dendy - one was called Teaching Teens with ADD and ADHD - it has some wonderful information - I can't remember the other one.
SBmom - you asked about SAT's, etc. S is a NMSF, but will likely not make finalist because of grades. His first SAT 1 (as a junior) was 1360 - he took them again on Dec. 4th and said they were much easier, he thought, so we'll see if his score is better. He has always done extremely well on standardized tests - typically 98-99% percentile...it's the daily work that requires repetition and organization that kills him - for example, got a D in AP History last year but got a 4 on the AP History Exam - makes no sense, right? Frustrating and confusing for everyone...
Anyway, I think I have rambled, but want to say SB mom - you are not alone...do NOT let anyone criticize you for the choices you make (drugs or not, accomodations or not) for your child...and it may take trying numerous things to find what works...it is an evolving process and we are still working on it!
Best of luck!

[mom60]

I definitely 2nd the extra set of books at home! You can try to get that written into the 504. At a private school that is usually easier to do then at public.

[bookworm]

Mom60 posted just as I was going to mention the books.
I do like structured programs, also structures that accommodate to individual's needs (like using computers for visual learners), sitting in front of class, untimed tests, and med.s. If parents don't see an improvement within a few months, they can be discontinued. So many people I know address not just the ability to focus, but the benefits to family life.

[calmom]

SBMom - I have another book to recommend - this is just one that I really loved when my son was probably around the same age as yours. It is not about ADD but is wonderful in terms improving communication and putting it all on a more positive track. It's called:

Strong-Willed Child or Dreamer? Understanding the Crucial Differences between a strong-willed child and a creative-sensitive child. by Ron Braund and Dana Scott Spears.

Anyway, the title of the book doesn't do justice to what is in it. It really has some extremely important insights, focusing on the difference between kids who are "dreamers" and "doers". ADD kids tend to be the "dreamers" who have a hard time translating thought into action.... lose track of time... etc. But what happens in terms of family dynamics is that parents often do the very worst things possible to get the message across to these kids -- so for example the book explains how threats of punishment can end up making the kid even less likely to do what the parent wants.

--
On the yelling & losing it issue, I would like to also simply suggest that you let go of your sense of responsibility for your son's mistakes a little bit and simply let him bear the consequences. I mean, as hard as it is, sometimes you have to let things be your kid's problem and not yours. Even WITH ADD -- ADD may be the reason for your kid's lapses, and it may also be a reason that you will want to arrange accommodations and support at school and at home --- but you don't want it to start being an excuse. That is, your ADD son needs to know that (a) he has a problem that makes it harder for him to remember and keep track of stuff, and (b) it is still HIS responsibiity to remember and keep track of stuff, despite the fact everyone understands that it is more difficult for him. Otherwise, you will keep clashing and things won't get better. It is really important for him to develop specific strategies that solve the problem ... and so the important thing is to focus on those solutions. The second set of textbooks at home is exactly the sort of solution that eliminates the problem, and allows everyone to move on.

[ckr1147]

Calmom - haven't heard of that book, but my S definitely falls in the dreamer mode..even tho' he is 18 and hardly a child, I'm going to read it! The "...but I have ADD" excuse is an easy trap to fall into...
It's also been mentioned in several books I have read that the typical punishment/reward behavior moification stuff often does not work with ADHD kids...even my sis-in-law who's son was just diagnosed last year has said that the things that always worked with her other two kids had no effect whatsover with this one!

[SBmom]

Emerald & Mom60-- These are great ideas. My S had two sets of books already, but he frequently brings the school set home by accident!

This is such helpful info. thanks again for all the ideas and info.

SBmom

[wolfpiper]

Hello,
I know this topic is relatively old, but I saw it and couldn't help but make a few comments.

First, on the subject of medication, I can really see bothj sides of the issue. My brother was diagnosed with ADD in HS and promptly put on medication. That combined with increased maturity made his grades skyrocket and seemed, at least to me, to make him happier. However, I personally feel Americans have a tendency to look for a "magic pill" to solve all their problems, and thus I probably won't take meds. myself. If you want to go the no med route, then you may want to take to a psychologist instead of a psychiatrist. Only psychiatrists can prescribe medication and therefore are much more likely to suggest that path.

The issue of accomdations at school is one my family and I have dealt with a lot, and the best advice I can give you is to get involved. Talk to the administration and teachers yourself and explain the issues in realistic terms. If you get your foot in the door, so to speak, early, then you'll be better able to handle problems when they arise. Also, it might be good to have your son talk to the teachers as well and explain his difficulties and abilities on an individual basis for each class. In my experience, most teachers have been very accomdating if I just spoke up-I guess they trusted that I would know what would work and what wouldn't. While having a parent intervene is sometimes critical, some teachers do seem to get edgy when they feel parents are over involved. If you ever move, make sure the IEP or other plan is airtight as some schools and school districts can be less accomdating than others.

Also, make sure you have some idea of what'll happen if one of the classroom books is lost or stolen (It happened to me before). Make sure you know if you'll be expected to pay.

About testing accomdations: Start early! If your son is planing on taking the SAT/PSAT/ACT or AP tests that year, start collecting paperwork at the beginning of the year. Also, keep in mind that the ACT and CB require different forms and provide different types of accomdations.

Good luck to you and your son.

[SBmom]

Thanks for your wise words. In about a week we will have a specific diagnosis and recommendations from the ed psych we saw. I will update then.

SBmom

[ckr1147]

Thanks Wolfpiper!

In reference to the ACT/SAT accommodations, they are becoming increasingly difficult to get,as I understand it. I don't know how they make the decisions...but they do require pretty extensive paperwork, both diagnostic and from the school...so, as wolfpiper said...start early...

S did have accommodations on only the SAT II's...we did not request them on the ACT and he was not allowed accommodations on the SAT I...he did just fine without them...standardized tests typically go quite well for him...

Also, I think (not positive) that if you have an IEP in place and are classified as a 504 student, you are much more likely to receive accommodations.

[emeraldkity4]

An IEP is an individualized education plan and is for students who are in special education. A student with an IEP requires "specially designed instruction" and this is covered through the Federal law IDEA.
http://www.ldonline.org/ld2/test/art...=&id=374&loc=9
A 504 is covered under the civil rights act of equal access and is what is used for students who need accomodations not specially designed instruction. THis is also what students with an IEP will have after they graduate high school. A 504 also protects adults in the workplace from discrimination for their disability.
http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/sec504.index.htm

[jym626]

Interesting to note how long each post is on this topic. I would like to mention that not only are there several different forms of ADHD, but there are many other learning and/or emotional issues that may look like ADHD on the surface. A good neuropsychological evaluation can help tease out whether you/your child has problems with information processing, processing speed, executive function (organization, planning, problem-solving), working memory, visual/perceptual problems, input/output problems, fine motor problems, Nonverbal Learning Disability (NLD), etc etc etc. There are many causes of these problems, from birth/developmental problems, to injury/illness, etc. Also, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, substance misuse, etc can present with symptoms that "look" like ADHD. A proper evaluation can help with the appropriate interventions-- medication, therapy, accomodations or any combination thereof. These are physiologically based disorders and are separate from behavioral issues. As you can probably tell, I am in the field. I really encourage a good, comprehensive eval to see what is going on and what is the right thing to do. It is unlikely that you will get the kind of eval you want/need through the school system, and your insurance may or may not pay for some of the testing. But as a mother of a kid I tested once said to me,"I can either take my money and go on vacation, or I can invenst i my son's future". Very wise woman. That kid, who has a nonverbal learning disability, also ended up with a full scholarship to college. I guess her initial investment in the testing paid off....

[emeraldkity4]

so how do you find someone to do an evaluation?
I had my daughter tested through the school system , all they determined was that she has a "specific learning disabilty" without mentioning what that was or what was needed.
Then I just paid almost $1000 to have her tested ( which I had to borrow- it wasn't a choice of buying a "want" instead), by an educational psychologist who still hasn't given me a report, I have the results of the tests but not a report making suggestions.
I would love any ideas on how to find a neuropysch and what testing to ask for. I get overwhelmed reading abstracts on line and while I am willing to go further in debt to get my daughter appropriately assesed, I also don't like paying money for little feedback. Sorry if I am sounding *****y I have a migraine and this is an area that really frustrates me. My daughter is doing ok but only after much hard work by us, not the school system. We also have a lot more free time to advocate for her, ( for all the good it has done) than other parents do. I am really frustrated on behalf of all the kids in teh district who aren't getting appropriate help, and for the teachers and parents who don't know what to do for them.