13 yr old Son ADD?/ what about tesitng accomodations?

[SBmom]

My 13 year old son is currently being tested for ADD issues by an educational psych recommended by his private school (basically, extreme disorganization & forgetfulness.) He tends to get good grades (sometimes excellent grades) when he connects with the teacher and poor grades if he does not-- irrespective of the subject of the class.

His intelligence is fine; can read quickly & take tests fine. The problem preparing for the test-- lost or forgotten books, not writing things down, incomplete assignments, etc. If I gather the materials and help him organize himself he would get an A-. If he does it he would get a C-.

I am curious how this "ADD" hand plays out over the HS and college years (SATs, etc.) Have other parents used the testing accomodations? Does this work against your child for colleges? Any other advice on questions I am too ignorant to ask?

Also, how has this been treated for your child ? Drugs, cognitive therapy or--?

I am completely new to this; the school just suggested testing him and we're in the middle of it now. Ideas appreciated!

[VTBoy]

Your son needs to be able to do things on his own with no special treatment, I know someone with ADD who has able to get a 4.0+ in HS along and will graduate from a major University Summa Cum Laude with a double major in Mathematics and Computer Science. He was able to do this with no medication, or special treatment. ADD shouldn't equate to special treatment.

[mom60]

We did the same with soph son last year around this same time. We already knew of some learning issues and always in the back of our mind had a feeling it was ADD. Finally one of his teachers suggested testing. As we all suspected he had ADD. He had already been in a learning skills class off and on at his school so he had some support with organizational issues. We ended up taking him on a regular basis to an educational therapist who helped him get organized and with homework. We also started him on medication. We had always been resident to the idea of medicating him but after talking to many different people we decided to try it. He was at the time at a private small middle school where the teachers all knew him well. That helped tremendously in determining if the meds. were doing anything. At the suggestion of the Dr and psychologist the teachers did not know he was on the medication at the beginning. That way there observations were not biased at all.
His concentration and quality of work went up. He was able to substain his attention for the duration of the class. They always felt that they lost him at some point in the class period. His grades became much more consistent. Previously any given exam grade could range from an F to an A even if it was the same material.
We started him on Strattera which is a different type of ADD med. that is not a stimulant. It takes longer to work initially but it stays in your system longer. There were many stumbling blocks in the beginning. The loss of appetite in a skinny teen boy was hard to watch. Especially since you got the crankly kid who needed to eat but who did not feel like eating. He also feels at times he has lost a part of himself. We thought of stopping many times in those first few months.
It is still hard to get him to take his med. I remind him every night. I don't know if he will continue to take them once he leaves home. I think some therapy sessions have helped as he has learned about how his brain works. He also has seen the grade results as well.
He made the transistion to high school fairly easily. All his teachers know he has issues. He has a 504 plan that is given to all his teachers which outlines what accom. he is entitled to. But at this point it is up to him to ask for them. Including testing in a quiet enviroment.
We just today received our official accom. from the CollegeBoard today. So we will see in January how that goes.
I don't know how it will play out in the college years. I know of several kids who have gone to schools that have extra services for kids with learning disabilities including ADD.

[VTBoy]

I am compleatly against giving medication for ADD to children. Children can adapt to the problem without the need for medication.

[toomuch2say87]

I have ADD, I don't take medication, i have some accomodations but i got a 1560 on my SAT, 730 writing, 710 us history, 680 lit, and i was accepted to NYU Tisch for next year ED. I worked really hard to get around it, but it's possible. I'm taking 4 APs this year plus Physics and Trig , and organization is really a tought thing for me. But just a warning if u try and help your son all the time, ur son might go and try and do everything himself, which is what i did when my mom tried to interfere too much. but it paid off lol

[toomuch2say87]

i was diagnosed in 3rd grade

[SBmom]

I do not want to medicate him, but I also do not want to yell and be stressed & have him feel like he's always in trouble or overwhelmed. It is a really hard decision. I am the type who never takes medication, had natural childbirth, used accupncture for asthma in my other S (it worked!) so the idea of daily meds freaks me out a bit. I suppose we'll try to do it without and see whether things improve sufficiently.

Toomuch: I am really heartened at the success you have had without the meds and despite the ADD. My son is very smart and I want him to be able to work at the level of his intellect and not at the (much lower) level of his organizational abilities.

I will be curious to see the results of the testing and whether or not the psych suggests meds. It almost makes me want to homeschool him and just do one subject at a time... I myself am a sort of "one track" person (my H says, obsessive) and I am also easily distracted-- so it may be genetic from me. However, I am VERY organized. It is reallyt hard for me to comprehend NOT being organized.

Thanks for your comments it is very useful to know more perspectives.

[toomuch2say87]

no problem. extra time is perhaps the most valuable accomodation. also, if your son has bad handwriting being allowed to type things is important. Also, for organization the best idea, if he wants to be in high level classes, is in-class support if the school offers it. I had it in math (grades 9-10) and science. In my science classes, which were all accelerated college-prep, from 9-11 I had an in-class support teacher. I had the same person all three years, which was great. She was there for everyone in the class, and sometimes taught the class herself or along with our other teacher. But she helped everyone stay organized, and all three years i ended up with the highest average for all of their classes. I guess the old story that if you teach a man to fish you will feed him forever applies here, because by my junior year I was able to basically do everything on my own save a few extra-help sessions with my math teacher. Also, it is very helpful if teachers know where your son's specific weaknesses lie, and if you let them have a voice on how to help your son, because sometimes when you, as a parent think an approach sounds good, it's always better to have a second opinion for someone that deals with your son outside of the home. For example, when my mom not too long ago found my trig notebook to be a mess, she asked my tutor if he would help me organize it. But, he knew that I had my own order for things, and the way I had my notebook was the best way for me. if you need any more help...PM me

[mom60]

toomuchtosay-you are very lucky to attend a school that gives such valuable support. I would say most students with ADD are not so lucky.
I also was not a fan of medication. We avoided it for 7 years. But as he got older and the work more time consuming I found that every bit of work was a battle. Homework would last from 3 till 10 and still not be done well. A project that should have taken a few hours an entire weekend. Thus making me a feel like a jailer each weekend.
I also wanted him to feel academic success. And medication has done that for him. He went from the idea that he would never be able to go to college to now talking about AP classes.
I feel meds. along with organizational support have changed my sons academic life for the extreme positive.
Never in my life would I have thought I would sing the praises of such a thing.

[kirmum]

Keep an open mind SBmom, talk to professionals, get second opinions and read all you can. So many people will tell you drugs are the answer or that you should never medicate. Once you have all the info and apply it to your child you should have a good sense of what you want to attempt. My oldest son is ADD. He has been on different meds and we are believers. There are some new, non addictive meds that are now most doctor's first line of treatment. For my son, once he was on the right dose of the right medication, many of the ADD symptoms really faded. He went from being disinterested and disorganized in community college classes far too easy for him to an A science student at UCSD. We tried many things over the years. Really, for us, it was all about the meds.

[joev]

Once I thought I almost had...wait what are we talking about? Go Browns!

[calmom]

SBMom - ADD has many manifestations, and there is no one answer that applies to all kids. Also, because it is diagnosed based on behavioral traits, ADD can easily be a misdiagnosis -- for example, kids with varied conditions like dyslexia, a variety of physical conditions or ailments, or bipolar disorder can be mistakenly seen as having ADD - so it is important to consider the full range of physical, emotional, and academic issues that contribute to the diagnosis.

Many kids do not need any accommodations with ADD; others need support like extra time on tests or the ability to test in a distraction-free environment. Many kids with ADD are helped by behavioral or counseling based therapies; others do well with non-pharmaceutical nutritional supplementation such as compounds containing Omega-3 fatty acids; for many changes in diet can work well; and other families choose medication. There are a variety of issues to consider with medication, including possible long term effects, and also social and psychological issues involved with medicating a teen -- a 13 year old will be aware, for example, that Ritalin and Adderol are also drugs of abuse, freely traded among teenagers and even college students; a history of medication can also have long-term social consequences -- for example, in most cases it will disqualify a kid from being accepted for military service (which can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your politics and your kid's aspirations).

So my next post will contain a list of some suggested reading. For a 13 year old, I also would strongly encourage you to put your son in charge of making the decisions about whether to seek accommodations and what therapeutic approaches to try. I say that because it will really be impossible to enforce compliance or get effective results with a teenager who is resistant to whatever plan is being implemented -- and the last thing you need is an angry teen with ADD. So basically, that means finding out as much as you can, then sitting down with your son and a medical professional or counselor and honestly and directly exploring the issues and options. Your son should understand that ADD is not an illness, but rather a pattern of thinking and functioning that probably is biologically or neurologically based -- that is, something about himself that he needs to understand better in order to manage and to function effectively.

[calmom]

Recommended Reading for ADD/ADHD:

No More Ritalin: Treating Adhd Without Drugs, by Dr. Mary Ann Block.
I like this book mostly because it is short and easy to read, with a very comprehensive overview of other common medical problems that can give rise to ADHD-like symptoms, and an excellent reference for various medications and their pharmacological properties and potential side-effects. The author does not like medication, but she is not preachy about it

The Myth of the ADD Child: (Help for your Child without Drugs, Labels or Coercion), by Thomas Armstrong, Ph.D.
I like this book because it has a questionnaire geared to developing a profile of your kid's specific symptoms, and then contains 50 suggested therapies or approaches giving you an idea of which patterns or symptom sets they are most likely to be successful with.

Right Brained Children in a Left Brained World, by Jeffrey Freed and Laurie Parsons.
This book has some innovative strategies and suggestions, and a different perspective on ADD, looked at as a learning style.

THE LCP SOLUTION: The Remarkable Nutritional Treatment for ADHD, Dyslexia, and Dyspraxia, by By: B. JACQUELINE STORDY.
I think that this book kind of overhypes the "remarkable" solution, but it is the best source I can think of for the underlying nutritional information about long chain fatty acids -- and this is one of those "it can't hurt to try" remedies. In simple terms, most kids these days have diets that are deficient in Omega-3 essential fatty acids, and this seems to play a part in ADHD - fixing the diet part is an easy first step, even if it may not be a complete solution.


Also, you might be interested in this very recent article about ADHD and medications:

How drug companies are pushing ADHD drugs for children by funding researchers and advocacy groups – and ignoring the studies which question their claims.
http://www.alternet.org/drugreporter/20594/

This article obviously espouses a particular viewpoint, but I think it also raises some important points about some of the biases in research funded by drug companies.

I personally believe medications should be used only as a last resort after first trying other strategies -- I am especially wary of pushing a young teenager toward relying on medications to address emotional or behavioral issues, because kids that age are at such great risk for drug experimentation or abuse. But that's just my opinion -- for some kids, a trial of medication may be tremendously helpful. So it kind of depends on individual considerations, including your sense of your kid's personality. Some kids really hate the way the ADD medications make them feel, by the way -- so even if the meds superficially seem to help, you could find a bright kid feeling that a sense of his mental creativity being dulled or hampered, and ultimately electing to forego the meds.

[calmom]

One more comment - SBMom wrote:

I do not want to medicate him, but I also do not want to yell and be stressed & have him feel like he's always in trouble or overwhelmed.

I think that one thing that gets overlooked sometimes in looking at how to treat ADD from a behavioral standpoint is how to change the family dynamics, including parental behavior as well as the kid's behavior. Of course you feel frustrated, but if your response is to yell and be stressed - then part of the problem is the way you respond to your kid. I'm not saying it's your fault - I'm saying that it contributes to a behavioral cycle that ends up making things worse for everyone -- your kid's ADD means he loses focus and is particularly likely to mess up when under stress; the reaction at home (yelling, stressed out parents) increases his feelings of frustration and stress - and things get worse and worse instead of better for everyone.

So parents in your situation should also get help in terms of learning better communication and parenting skills -- actually, I think any parent of a 13 year old could use this kind of help, because at least for me, age 13 was the toughest time for dealing with either of my kids. It is also very important to learn good stress relief, relaxation and stress management techniques --for both parent and child. I can't tell you how much of a difference it makes when the parent has a sense of being calm and grounded - rather than angry and frustrated -- not just for the way you feel as a parent, but in the way the overall mood of household members is influenced.

Please don't take this the wrong way -- I am NOT trying to castigate you in any way. I've yelled at my kids too when I'm upset -- we all do -- but I also knew that my yelling was a sign that I needed help with coping. A kid with ADD may very well need meds, but meds are the solution to parent-yelling.

Also - again, don't take this wrong - but you said that you see yourself as very organized and have a hard time understanding your son's lack of organization. Keep in mind that as an orderly person, you are probably subjectively more easily upset by disorder and may be overly harsh on your son, and you may also be inadvertantly contributing to your son's lack of organizational skills by being overly critical or taking control away from him, which can be very de-motivating.

I am a very DISorgainized person, raised by a mother who was compulsively neat -- and I really think that's part of my problem. But I am also the kind of person who can put my hands on an important paper in a moment if I've left it lying in a disorganized pile on my desk... but if I make the mistake of putting the same paper in a folder in a file cabinet ... I'll never be able to find it. It comes from having a visual memory - I find things by mentally visualizing where I last saw them. The absolute worst is if someone else files something - or puts it away for me -- then I have no memory whatsoever of where I put the thing (since I clearly "see" it where I left it, lying out in the middle of the livingroom floor next to my shoes and the magazine I was reading)... and I'm lost. To an orderly person, it looks like I'm disorganized -- and in my mind, it's like I'm being constantly sabatoged by a house elf who sneaks up behind me and hides all my important stuff.

So again - family dynamic is important. One way to help an ADD kid is to make the home life more ADD-friendly, and the first step is understanding and improved communication.

[SBmom]

Calmom,

Your comments are very astute. Generally i remain calm but every so often I lose it. For example, when my Son does not tell me until 11pm that he didn't bring home a book that he needs for a big chunk of his homework... then I lose it, because now it is a problem that can't be solved. If he'd told me at 7pm, we could have fetched the book.

The reading list is great and I appreciate the advice. I think when the diagnosis is complete the "plan of action" will be more clear. Thanks so much for you help. By the way, I am messy-organized just like you. My husband is Felix Unger. Same house elf!

SBmom