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Do kids get a break if they have a doctor's note?

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Replies to: Do kids get a break if they have a doctor's note?

  • romanigypsyeyesromanigypsyeyes Registered User Posts: 31,654 Senior Member
    No, they can't "refuse" but they can be difficult and uncooperative. Some of them are borderline (or straight up) illegal but the fight with a disabilities office can be long and drawn out. It sucks, but it's reality and it's one that she should be prepared for- that's why it's a good idea to talk to the office and students with disabilities if you can.

    Also, absolutely agree with needing to get that amount of migraines checked out.
  • TempeMomTempeMom Registered User Posts: 2,643 Senior Member
    It sounds like they've have seen 3 neurologists....and so far no other answers. She sure is doing a good job in spite of everything!
  • scmom12scmom12 Registered User Posts: 2,587 Senior Member
    edited May 18
    I would carefully look at the policies of each school. D1 at small LAC, attendance was expected and that many days would be hard to miss when participation often meant you were expected to contribute in a meaningful way in each class. But, the nice thing was if you went to Health center and got note, professor would accept as excused. Now not sure how that works with that many potential absences.

    Flip side is D2 big U. Health center would send note but that just meant you had an appointment and not "she shouldn't go to class this week." But even though there is school wide attendance policy before lowering grade, many teachers didn't use it punitively. Might want to consider big schools where some of gen eds have on-line options so that you have more flex in the schedule.

    I agree with talking with disability offices. Friend teaches at big U. She is very nice person, but she requires word from disability office before changing her expectations or making accommodations. Sometimes the deans office gets involved but that's more when something arises suddenly, not ongoing issue.

    (might want to consider tuition insurance in case things don't go well and you stand to lose money if you withdraw after a certain point)
  • AbsDadAbsDad Registered User Posts: 59 Junior Member
    She really is @Tempemom. But the teachers at her high school are wonderful with her. She doesn't take advantage...... even last night, she spent 3 hours writing a 5 page assignment, with a migraine. She said she could have done it in about an hour without a migraine.

    As far as "curing" the migraines.... not sure what more we can do. She has seen the 3 doctors about a dozen times in total........ Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, Dupont ( Nemours ) Clinic for Children with Migraines, and an independent doctor.

    And with all her issues, she is ranked 8th in the school district for her grade ( 10th ). She's an amazing kid.
  • sylvan8798sylvan8798 Registered User Posts: 5,719 Senior Member
    AbsDad wrote:
    I am particularly concerned because the school she want to attend has a reputation for very tough grading, based on what I have read here and other places.
    Can you clarify? Are you hoping that her college professors will grade her work on a different scale from that of her classmates?

    Also, have you considered taking her to a psychiatrist?
  • CADREAMINCADREAMIN Registered User Posts: 2,774 Senior Member
    edited May 18
    Sorry she deals with those and hope you find an underlying cause and remedy soon....Going back to your initial question and just assuming it isn't granted "disability status" for conversation sake - it can vary greatly depending on school and each professor. My student had one math professor that gave quizzes every Friday. If you weren't there for whatever reason - traveling athlete with note, in the hospital with doctor's note, whatever - you got a zero on that quiz. No negotiating. I assume her thought was if she gave them every Friday, a student shouldn't miss so many that it flunks you, but it did certainly hurt your grade if you caught a couple zeros. And this way, she didn't have to deal with special cases. I had a traveling athlete who missed a lot of Fridays so it hurt grade wise. On the other side, another professor would send full midterms with him to take on the plane, overseen by one of the staff/tutors that traveled with them. It can just really vary.

    In some cases, going to high school is nothing like college in terms of attention and empathy; you aren't in Kansas anymore. While some will be kind and understanding, for others, it is simply survival of the fittest. Of course, there are colleges where you really do know your professors, so maybe a smaller school would be better for her than a huge school, it just depends. I have one that had surgery over winter break (at a large private) and all of his professors let him move his finals up earlier so he could get back for it. It can vary at a school and within a school, but overall, mine have had pretty good reactions to one off situations, yours is different cause it could be more of a regular thing, which is why checking into options with disability office is a good start. It is great you are doing some research into this ahead of time, allowing you to understand a good fit for her. I wish you all well.
  • scotlandcallingscotlandcalling Registered User Posts: 191 Junior Member
    And with all her issues, she is ranked 8th in the school district for her grade ( 10th ).

    Sorry, but "pressure red flag" went off. Does the school district put out a chart of where kids rank? That is made public? I just realized why a lot of schools don't rank.
  • stradmomstradmom Registered User Posts: 4,599 Senior Member
    Sorry she's having this issue. As a professor, I can grant accommodations to someone who has filed "accessibility" paperwork but not for even a lovely person who has not. My general attendance policy is that attendance is voluntary but there are no makeups for missed work - and we do group work/participatory exercises in almost every class. That can add up to a good chunk of the grade. Many of my colleagues have stricter policies ("three absences and then your grade suffers") so it's a good idea to look into those formal accommodations.
  • AbsDadAbsDad Registered User Posts: 59 Junior Member
    @scotlandcalling .... when we go in for our yearly gifted program meeting, they tell us privately. They don't say who is above or below - just our daughter's rank.
  • LindagafLindagaf Registered User Posts: 6,455 Senior Member
    edited May 19
    I am so sorry to hear this, I really feel for your daughter.

    This is totally unwanted advice from someone who knows nothing, except that a good friend's daughter suffered with terrible migraines twice a month, then more often, for six years. It made school a nightmare. I can't begin to imagine how your child copes, but I can tell you that for my friend's D, it became clear that as she progressed through high school, her migraines became worse because of the awful vicious circle of being ill, missing school, making up work, and always always trying to catch up, then being ill again. She couldn't ever catch up. The migraines were initally induced by her monthly cycle, but as they worsened, it was stress induced.

    This girl applied to college and deferred. She has taken a gap year, and her migraines only happen once a month now, or less. She has spent this year practicing and using stress reduction techniques so that she can succeed in college.

    I think also that ten migraines is totally extreme. Have you considered home schooling? It might work wonders. Meanwhile, in your shoes, I would explore other options beyond the neurologists' office. No doubt you have already considered dozens of possibilities, but ten migraines make me wonder if the issue could be something like mold spores, or food related. Best of luck to your daughter, I hope her condition can be controlled better.
  • mom2andmom2and Registered User Posts: 2,090 Senior Member
    I am sure you have tried, but have you been able to identify any triggers? Lack of sleep, hormones (that is what triggered mine), certain foods, stress (or when the stress is over?), dehydration? My son had migraines and things actually got better in college because his schedule was less rigid in terms of where he had to be at what time. No more getting to school by 7:30 am and being busy until the evening and then trying to do homework.

    I hope she can figure it out. Migraines are so horribly painful and 10 a month are certainly a disability.
  • AbsDadAbsDad Registered User Posts: 59 Junior Member
    Thanks @Lindagaf ( and all who offered support ).

    No, no home schooling. She absolutely LOVES school. It would crush her to not go.

    To address a point someone asked...... NO, I am not hoping teachers offer a preferential treatment as far as grades go. But I do know it will be tons harder in college than high school if she keeps having these migraines. She knows it too, and she will be really sad if she can't maintain an A average.... the other day she said "Dad, do you know I have NEVER had a grade below an A-? I want to do that all the way through college if I can."

    Now, I know that won't likely happen even if she is healthy, but I truly love her determination.
  • happy1happy1 Registered User Posts: 16,447 Senior Member
    Her determination is wonderful, but I wonder if all that pressure she is putting on herself to be close to perfect is adding to her stress level.
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