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Do kids get a break if they have a doctor's note?

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Replies to: Do kids get a break if they have a doctor's note?

  • thumper1thumper1 Registered User Posts: 60,860 Senior Member
    Praise her efforts even if she gets B or C grades.

  • MaineLonghornMaineLonghorn Super Moderator Posts: 29,382 Super Moderator
    I was one of those kids who put tremendous pressure on herself to succeed in high school. I got tons of headaches and almost always had cold sores due to stress. I missed a lot of school due to headaches and stomachaches. For me, something just flipped when I was a HS senior, and I decided to ease up on myself. My headaches were pretty minimal by the time I got to college. I LOVED college. I still got high grades, but didn't freak out when I got a B (or even a couple of Cs!). So it is possible to get better! It wasn't my parents pressuring me. My mom told me she thought about giving me money if I did NOT get an A in a class! Counseling would probably have helped me, but I didn't know there was such a thing.
  • AbsDadAbsDad Registered User Posts: 56 Junior Member
    @blossom

    What a terrible response based on your having ZERO knowledge about how I interact with my daughter(s). I tell her all the time to just do the best she can do, and we will be proud..... That might include a B or a C.

    My other daughter is her twin... same exact grades except a C in Latin, and a C in Tech ed. I let her know it was just fine because she did her best.

    The competition they have is between themselves, not with trying to make the parents happy.
  • thumper1thumper1 Registered User Posts: 60,860 Senior Member
    @AbsDad

    I do hope your daughter finds herself NOT having all those headaches in a year...or so.

    My concern is this...the school may say that there is no penalty for missed classes. But the underlying issue (as with my daughter) was that she missed SOOOOO much information being absent that she could NOT make up,or do the work. There are some classes where really...missing a LOT of classes in a term will jeopardize your daughter's ability to actually progress and do the required work.

    I would be VERY alert to the add/drop dates once she gets to college...realizing this is two full years plus from now. In addition, I would gain some familiarity with medical withdrawals from classes. Hopefully, you won't need either...but best to be informed.

    The other thing you might want to consider is tuition insurance.
  • MaineLonghornMaineLonghorn Super Moderator Posts: 29,382 Super Moderator
    All schools might not be this kind, but the two that my ill son dropped out of both refunded all of his tuition and fees. I really did find people to be very understanding and generous.
  • movemetoomovemetoo Registered User Posts: 730 Member
    I am dealing with this same question with my D who will be starting college in the fall. She has about 6 severe migraines a month. If she doesn't stop and close her eyes and stay in a dark room, they will last for 24 hours, and involve vomiting etc. If she stops and closes her eyes in a quiet room, usually she will feel better in 6 hours or so, or overnight. She is VERY stressed about how things will go in her classes, and how this will work with a roommate.

    As someone said upthread, migraines are an "invisible" disability. There is little sympathy from others involving the real struggle for sufferers, and EVERYONE wants to tell you what you are doing wrong. What did you eat? Did you not sleep enough? Did you sleep too much? Too much/not enough caffeine. It's not that easy, there are so many factors. Stress, hormones, flickering lights, smells, heat, muscle tension. Genetics. Believe me, it's hard enough what they have to suffer without everyone telling them what they are doing wrong or should have done differently. Then there is the perpetual search for just the right painkiller at just the right moment, how much to take, how far to space them, is this causing a rebound headache which is just as bad?

    I can't tell you how many things the poor kid has had to miss out on while she suffered. But she's determined not to miss out on the college experience.
  • LindagafLindagaf Registered User Posts: 5,883 Senior Member
    OP and @movemetoo , the girl I mentioned earlier will be in a single. I would probably insist on a single in your shoes. It isn't fair to anyone to have a roommate in this kind of circumstance.
  • calla1calla1 Registered User Posts: 1,780 Senior Member
    OP, I totally get why you love your daughter's determination. She sounds very bright and motivated, and she is quite a trooper with those headaches.

    If she were my daughter, I think there might be a fine line between being proud of her determination, and being concerned about her determination. At the least, I would take her to a therapist for some feedback about whether she is pushing herself too hard.
  • sylvan8798sylvan8798 Registered User Posts: 5,663 Senior Member
    There are those who argue against the "always do the best you can" mantra. Something to think about.
  • oldfortoldfort Registered User Posts: 20,623 Senior Member
    D1 had very bad migraines in middle school when she hit puberty. It was so bad that she went numb on one side of her body. She would throw up and couldn't get out of the bed. We did MRI and cat scan, but didn't find anything. Her pediatrician told us it could be hormonal. D1 was told not to have anything with caffein in it (coke, coffee) and to take Motrin as soon as she felt it coming on. She had few bad episodes for few years, but she eventually "grew out of it." She went on the pills when she was around 18, so I don't know if it had anything to do with it.
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