selective high school.. opinions wanted - Page 3

parent56 · 01-01-2007, 04:26 PM

if this school was in our town or an hour away, there would be NO question which school we would want him to attend because of the quality of the programs and teachers . Its the boarding issue that creates the problem... so... am i hesitant due to my own problems with him living away ... that is the dilemna! would i be denying him an incredible educational experience?

cheers · 01-01-2007, 04:34 PM

What a great story I'mAMom2! Welcome to CC--

jonri · 01-01-2007, 04:34 PM

I really shouldn't be posting, as my kids are much older. My younger one is currently in law school.

My kids went to NYC public magnets, beginning at the age of 5. The bottom line: what college your kid is admitted to is not the most important issue. My own kids were very smart, but not at the top of the class. Especially in my D's case, the truth is that if either ranked, she'd probably be ranked with almost the same number in her HYPSMC college as in her high school class (which was much smaller).

It's my observation that the kids who end up in the top third at a top public magnet do better than they would have if they had gone to "Nowhereville H.S". Below that, they'd probably be better off --strictly in terms of college admission--being a *star* at Nowhereville.

But a lot of this is about personality. I'm not engaging in false modesty when I tell you my kids are smarter than I am. I HATED being an academic star in high school. My kids had a FAR better high school experience, especially socially, because they went to high schools where being a brain was not the least weird.

Do what's best for your kid now--not 4 years from now.

parent56 · 01-01-2007, 04:35 PM

imamom2.. we have spoken to a couple of grads and they highly recommend the school. they said it was hard to make the decision to go but think it was the best decision they ever made.
know what you mean about going away to college, my eldest went to NYC to a dramatic academy and has since moved to California. Only one other person from his hs left the state. He has a few hs friends he keeps in touch with but they all still live here in town and cant understand why he would ever want to leave.

parent56 · 01-01-2007, 04:50 PM

jonri: my son had a hard time in grade 7 and 8 being identified as "the smart kid" and a nerd. Fortunately he seems to have adjusted to the names and takes pride in his acheivements in school now, or at least he says it doesnt bother him anymore. the flip side of that would now be... he's used to being the smartest.. what happens if he's one of many, with others much smarter LOL you cant win!

corranged · 01-01-2007, 04:53 PM

I haven't read through every post, but I've skimmed most of them. In my opinion (as a student), if your son can get A+s in every class without putting in much effort, then he needs a more challenging environment. He should not spend the next 3.5 years of high school not learning. Also, if he's not challenged your son may slack off, and he may find himself not living up to what he could. Even if he keeps up A+s, he may not develop the time management skills, writing technique, or many other things necessary for a successful transition into a top university.

mathmom · 01-01-2007, 04:59 PM

I know boarding school is a hard decision, I was only a boarding student my last year in high school, but I have to admit I really enjoyed it and realized belatedly how much I'd missed by being a day student the first year. I agree that there is a lot to be said for making the right educational decision now. After all if he hates the boarding school, he can always come back home. Time management in my experience may actually be easier at boarding school.

I'mAMomToo! · 01-01-2007, 05:03 PM

It's a tough call. I can't imagine sending one of my kids away. It was so difficult when kid #1 left for college & was gone. At least kid #2 was still at home (she is a Sr. in HS now so this time next year, I am an empty nester! - and I only JUST NOW found this sight - where were you years ago when I needed it so badly with kid #1?!!).

Anyway, it sounds like the real issue is boarding school. So, find out what the school provides in the dorm enviornment that is quasi-familial. Sending a kid that age away is a big deal. I always said my kids needed me more in HS than earlier. I worked at an office in their early years but when kid #1 was mid way through freshman year in HS I began working at home & telecomuted - I realized that HS kids need easy access to "mom" much more than they would ever admit. Of course, I have 2 d's so I don't have any idea how a son would fit in the boarding school picture. I wouldn't trade the few minutes every day with my d's during hs for anything. I really believe my involvement in their lives during those formative hs years (in my opinion the most formative in the character of our youth) had a big impact on them. Of course, d #1 is gifted and I couldn't have done for her what the teacher did - but I was in her life everyday supporting her every step of the way. I remember when we got excited thinking she might even be able to go to her "reach" school of the State U! She and I laughed and dreamed accross the kitchen table of going to a "real university" knowing going to the cc was more than any of the other kids in her circle of friends were doing. When she came home talking Harvard husband and I had to find out what state Harvard was in! If she had been in a boarding school I would not have had that conversation (or many other converstations - you know the kind - boys, friends, hs tears and joys all wrapped into one week!). I wonder who would have had those conversations with my child, or would they have been by phone? I don't know - it just seems so much family is lost to boarding school. But, obviously, I am biased - I have no idea what sending a kid to boarding school is like never having even thought of it!

Incidentally, for kid #2 we did send her to a different hs. We moved in d #1 freshman year to a neighboring area and kept d#1 in the same old school. But, d #2 had the option to go to the school d #1 graduated from or go to another hs. We sent her to the other school - a good move - she isn't 1st in her class (like big sis) but she is in the top 10% & has had a great experience in HS & been challenged & has very good college options - stay tuned for where she ends up.

Can you opt to keep at the local hs for freshman/sophomore year and then maybe junior/senior at the other school? No idea if that is a good idea or not though - just a thought that crossed my mind.

So, that is my 2 cents worth! I will be interested to hear what you decide.

cheers · 01-01-2007, 05:04 PM

I had the same feeling mathmom. I could have left home when I was 15.

The school my son went to was 50/50 boarding. Organiztion is much easier in boarding school. My favorite summary was a from his best friend --who boarded ages 7 through 15. (He moved home --in town--for the last two years of school).

Quote:

The best thing about boarding is also the worst thing about boarding. You get to spend so much time with your mates.

Gotopractice · 01-01-2007, 05:04 PM

Is it an option for your family to move to Mobile?

parent56 · 01-01-2007, 05:08 PM

corranged/mathmom: great points! they have an option to go in grade 10 or grade 11.. probably with the wrong point of view but we had considered that if he goes he should go in grade 10 so if he doesnt like it, he would still have grade 11 and 12 back here which in our opinion would be better than going in grade 11 then back for senior year. If his marks were to drop he would have 2 years to bring them back up.
As corranged says also, he doesnt study at all now, and he wont have that skill for college unless he learns it somewhere.
The school does have ec activities like sports, band, chorus, drama and about 30 clubs to choose from. and is involved in national science and math competitions
good to hear someone went to boarding school and survived and actually liked it.

parent56 · 01-01-2007, 05:11 PM

no option to move gotopractice. that would solve everything though!l

hsmomstef · 01-01-2007, 05:15 PM

just something I haven't seen pointed out. you said "If he does choose an ivy league type school there is no way we could afford it without scholarships. My oldest went to college in NY and we didnt qualify for any aid so we are paying loans off for that now."

Ivy League schools do not offer scholarships -- aid is based on need only.

parent56 · 01-01-2007, 05:35 PM

well, then i guess we just look at in/out of state great schools? but the son of a friend of ours went to Princeton on a full academic scholarship (combined with an athletic) but he wouldnt have got financial aid need based?

cheers · 01-01-2007, 05:52 PM

The family may have been less than truthful about their finances.

you can use CC to determine what sort of aid you might qualify for at an Ivy league school. http://www.collegeconfidential.com/f..._aid/index.htm

Check out the CC Financial Aid forums too.