Class of 2012 Results: Celebrate, discuss, support here

[missypie]

I'm pretty sure that I carry my kids' hurts for longer than they do. (I can still get worked up about that bad call in the second grade softball tournament!) My son had some dismal and unfair failures relating to trying to become a lifeguard and a swim instructor last summer. It still makes me sad and furious to think about them but they are long forgotten, ancient history to him.

We're moms...what can I say?

[bethievt]

I'll bet I've never forgotten a single slight to my child. I know it's not healthy to hang on to these things, but it's very hard not to. I have an unconventional child too. He managed to keep a few really close friends, but most people couldn't understand a lot of what he wanted to talk about. College is better, as I knew it would be and I hope (and think) the same will be true at one of her excellent options. But vent away--it can't hurt and it might help.

[hornet]

Maybe our suffering for our children is what makes it so easy for them not to be affected as much by the disappointments. Our kids know they are adored and will always carry that through disappointment. Je_ne_: it sounds like you have done a good job with your daughter; she knows she is loved and her identity and sense of self-worth is not caught up in where she got into college.

Grind over it, cry and fuss. Surround yourself with like-minded folks and stay away from the moms that shake your certainty or make you feel bad. Your daughter will triumph and already has. The fact that she has called friends, discussed the waitlists and moved on is proof the she is on her way to success.

[Dad II]

Why do you have to bring this subject up? I told myself don't ever write anything on CC any more but then I saw this.

With all the joys, I still felt very badly about that one rejection. DD was over it before she opened the e-mail, but I could not.

I hope she will get in 4 years from now for a Ph. D program.

[dntw8up]

"As in so many things, she should be my example. She has moved on and is thinking ahead, no longer giving the closed doors any notice."

YES!!! It's not how many school accept you. All you need is one school where you will be socially happy and academically challenged. Smith is a terrific school and I'm sure your daughter will thrive there and wonder why she ever thought she might prefer to go to school elsewhere.

[smdur1970]

Your note brought back a flood of bitter memories from D's elementary/middle school days. She has positive memories of those days, however. Things were a little better in High School, and now as a college freshman she has found others who do appreciate her intellect and overlook her limitations. Kids that are "different" will tend to congregate in certain groups in college--vegetarian/vegan groups, gltb activities, environmental activitists, anime clubs. Forward focus on the excitement of the college experience with your D; I wish her success in every aspect, so that the your sadness and regrets fade over time.

[bethievt]

Oh, come on, Dad II--you know you're trapped here just like the rest of us!

[jym626]

je-ne-sais-quoi,

From the very brief description you have given, is there a chance your daugher might have a non-verbal learning disability or possibly mild aspergers? The socially quirky, socialy disconnected things you describe can be seen in these kids, many of whom are extremely bright. You might want to look at the NLDontheweb.org, nldline.com, nlda.org,etc. Just a thought.

[mmm168]

dadII, congrats! The top end schools are affordable this year.
Thanks to Harvard, which initiatd new financial aid policy.

[paying3tuitions]

Smith, is it? What a great school. Wonderful, wonderful Northampton and the Five College Consortium. Safe, interesting and exciting communities. The most beautiful campus I ever saw, designed by Frederic Law Olmstead...

I don't know who or what rejected her, but it is time to focus on who ACCEPTED her.

Yiddish folk expression: "With one rear end, you can only dance at one wedding."

You are really lucky here. She will find acceptance and so much more.

Regarding the other outcomes, let it go, especially if she has. It has no bearing on the sounds heard at ten-year-old birthday parties. She's on to the next chapter in a great college. Celebrate with her.

[SeattlePop]

Well, My D got into all 11 of her schools...

Knox (w/merit $$),
Agnes Scott (w/merit $$),
Illinois Wesleyan (w/merit $$),
Kenyon (w/merit $$),
Lawrence U (w/merit $$),
Beloit (w/merit $$),
Occidental (w/merit $$),
Ithaca (w/merit $$),
Scripps (w/merit $$),
Barnard(doesn't give merit $$),
Davidson (Haven't heard on merit $$ yet)

Now she has to choose!

[AdOfficer]

Something horrible happened to me recently and my mother was angrier and more hurt about it than I was. I had a hard time understanding this at first. Reading these posts really helps me understand my mom's feelings better. It took over 30 years, but I finally get it. Thanks guys!

To je-ne-sais-quoi - your daughter sounds special - like an individual. I think there are a lot of people out there (and on here, too ) who can respect that. Perhaps she's just not had many REAL peers up until this point - and I'll bet college will change that! Best of luck to the both of you!!!!!

[Trinity]

Class of 2012 Acceptances: Celebrate, discuss, support here

Thank you for participating in our Big Thread where parents, students, or delighted observers can come and share their good news, and everyone can rejoice. This is also the place to discuss both happy and disappointing news, and to support each other in the best manner of a community like this one.

Please continue adding your stories or comments to this thread as opposed to starting individual threads, which would need to be merged later on.

The Moderators' Team

[je_ne_sais_quoi]

I am obviously new to this. Sorry to have started a thread instead of posting on the others that are already out there

[Lost in translat]

Congratulations to all you great parents for your kids' fantastic achievements. This is the first time I've followed your ups and downs for a whole year and cheering for your college-bound sons and daughters (even though I admit being slightly jealous of some of you with your multiple Ivy acceptances (God, you must be on top of the world!) has helped me survive some pretty tough moments. It's better than being a sportsfan for I felt I had dozens of teams to root for. A special thanks to DadII who made me think of John McEnroe: excessive, sometimes crazy, but totally addictive.
Je-ne-sais-quoi: it has been my experience that children, even teens, take many of their cues from their parents. If she feels that you're disappointed, then her college will indeed seem second-rate. Show her that often the adcoms know a great fit better than the students, as you can tell from the number of posts on CC extolling the virtues of a third or fourth choice which has become the dream school.(ps: my D is a frosh smithie and it is more than great.There are many many super bright quirky and special girls there and nearly as many super bright quirky professors!)