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11-13-2007, 09:17 PM
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#16 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,419
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Tokenadult, I know from rather discouraging experience on this board that indeed, links to Onion articles are routinely taken seriously.
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11-13-2007, 09:50 PM
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#18 | | Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 629
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this is why I can't understand why anybody really wants to graduate early from college... WHY? Good lord consider grad school, growing up sucks...
Halo 3 vs merril lynch lunches... gawd kids stay in school...  | |
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11-13-2007, 11:20 PM
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#19 | | Member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 582
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I loved the part about drinking chocolate milk while relaxing after work...
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11-14-2007, 01:20 AM
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#20 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,084
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The paragraph about frats - hilarious.
"So here I am, a working stiff paying busting my ass in low-level financial advisory hell, counseling old biddies about whether to buy 10 shares of this mutual fund or that, one all in a futile attempt to make partner by 15"
Well, this one is believable. Have you seen how the stock market behaved lately? Definitely driven by a bunch of 11-yr olds! | |
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11-14-2007, 06:54 AM
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#21 | | Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 988
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I don't think the darling is legally employed. Life is so tough.
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11-14-2007, 07:28 AM
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#22 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,043
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tokenadult, thanks for posting the article on "Mary Little-Savant _ the daughter of local garbage man Bud Savant and his wife Agnes Little, a semiprofessional Beanie Baby collector" Quote:
The precocious youngster dazzled the panel by pointing out several previously undiscovered flaws in Einstein's "Theory of Relativity" and quickly translating her findings into a lyrical sequence of Latin anagrams.
Then, left alone in the Mensa testing room, she critically dissected Immanuel Kant's "Categorical Imperative" in a spirited debate with her Malibu Philosopher Barbie.
When the panel of intelligence experts returned to the room, Little-Savant left them slack-jawed by defeating IBM's famed Deep Blue computer in a tense game of "Candyland." ...Little-Savant _ who has renamed her three favorite Beanie Babies after Copernicus, Michelangelo and Lao-Tzu _ has posters of Leonardo Da Vinci and Leonardo Di Caprio hanging side by side in her room.
As the new school year draws near, she is said to be considering skipping third grade to pursue a quadruple PhD in algebraic psychology, political photosynthesis, forensic theology and Euclidian geothermal metaphysics.
| The little savant - great stuff although John Breneman did not venture to map out possible career plans.
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11-14-2007, 08:39 AM
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#23 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,684
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That was hysterical (chocolate milk at McSorelys, frat house high-jinx at 7).
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11-14-2007, 09:10 AM
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#24 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: A world where Archie marries Betty
Posts: 6,748
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LOL that was a nice breather 
Won't have been surprised if that really was true though, at the rate at which things are going nowadays!
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11-14-2007, 12:52 PM
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#25 | | Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 474
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The first clue that it was a hoax was "...capped off his accelerated education by receiving his MBA from Villanova University at the tender age of 10." Villanova does not have a regular MBA program. They have an Executive MBA program, a Full Time Equivalent MBA program, a Professional MBA program, and a joint MBA/JD program. The Professional and Full Time Equivalent programs have average ages of 28 years old and 5 years of work experience. I doubt if 'Nova would even accept him.
BTW...the article gave me a chuckle....lol.
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11-14-2007, 01:11 PM
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#26 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,214
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Pretty funny. My neighbor's very smart daughter skipped 7th grade and graduated from college in 3 years....so now she's 19 or 20, working at a full time job that she could have for-oh, the next 45 years or so....why does that not sound like a great decision?
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11-14-2007, 01:21 PM
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#27 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,997
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^^well, if she really wanted to, she could have gone backpacking in Europe for a couple of years after college or something...
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11-14-2007, 01:53 PM
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#28 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 276
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11-14-2007, 05:46 PM
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#29 | | Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 525
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Child Labor Laws prevent underage full time employment, so it's a hoax. Moreover, every child deserves a childhood.
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11-14-2007, 08:17 PM
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#30 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,983
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The thoughtfulness of his quotes gave it away for me.
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