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02-04-2008, 09:50 PM
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#301 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,888
| Wow,
I missed the whole unplugging part. That is so inappropriate, I'm not sure what to say. Cutting off your nose to spite your (daughter's) face? Shooting yourself in your (daughter's) foot? Why are you doing this?
As I've said,I was a royal pain for awhile when my son was doing apps so I'm no angel. But I did come here and learn to back off. And the backing off did help. Son had already done way more than he needed to get into a good college. Backing off helped our relationship because I just let him be. As it happened, he then applied to all 10 colleges, but if he had stopped at that point, the great thing would be that I had backed off, loved the kid he was and would celebrate whatever results he had. | 
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02-04-2008, 10:15 PM
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#302 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 5,983
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by st2 Kind of makes you think about your own relationship with your own kids. | I called D today after my last post here and left this message "Hey, sweetie. Call your dad. Just need to hear your voice. Well..... that and to ask you to forgive me." | |
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02-04-2008, 10:52 PM
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#303 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Northern California
Posts: 2,667
| blossom - really nice post. | |
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02-04-2008, 11:01 PM
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#304 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,451
| Agree with alumother. Blossom, your kids must think you're awesome. | |
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02-04-2008, 11:03 PM
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#305 | | Member
Join Date: May 2006 Location: University of Virginia
Posts: 682
| Goodness. DadII, when I posted I wanted to tell you that I was in the exact same position as your daughter when I was in high school. Granted we did things on a different time table, but that's just personality differences. Guess where I went? The big state school that you look down on. (Well, I'm at UVa, not OSU, but state school nonetheless). Guess where I've really matured and developed my life? That big state school. Guess where I found the passion for a field of interest that is now my major? That big state school. Guess where I'm heavily involved in extracurriculars and consequently have made connections leading to interviews, internships, and other offers? That big state school. Guess what do I not listen to? Parents telling me big state school sucks (they've finally come around though). Guess where I have been happiest all my life? That big state school. Guess what I'll do when I graduate? Living me own darned life. | |
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02-04-2008, 11:09 PM
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#306 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: New England
Posts: 1,625
| CURM - I sure hope your gal called you back  I remember your adventures getting your gal heading towards the future - you did a wonderful job!!
I have had that same conversation - and hugs to go with it - with both of my kids at one point or another - we all have survived unscathed it seems. I know you have as well  | |
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02-04-2008, 11:12 PM
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#307 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 5,983
| She did . About 30 minutes ago. Seems all is well. She acted as if I had lost my mind. "Dad. I pushed myself. Don't worry about it. Where did all this come from?" Uuuhhhh...well....uhhh....nevermind. | |
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02-04-2008, 11:15 PM
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#308 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: New England
Posts: 1,625
| AAwwwwww - Good for your heart CURM | |
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02-04-2008, 11:34 PM
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#309 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 39
| Dad II, I can't believe you shut down the power and cut off the power, didn't let D send scholarship application. You were punishing yourself, and hurting your D. I can't understand how you can do that. I understand you were upset at that situation. If I were you, I would be upset too. No matter how upset you were, the most important thing is to finish the application as soon as possibe, not to cut off the power. I am wondering why your wife didn't stop you. unbeliverable.
because of my poor English, I really don't know how to express myself in English. I hope you and D can get along soon. Good Luck to you & your D!
S is working on presidential scholar essays. He said he was going to write about us on the essay "How community and family has impact on him". I hope I can get his permission to share his essay with all of you in the right time.
It will show what kind of Asian family we are. | |
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02-04-2008, 11:43 PM
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#310 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 5,983
| Quote:
I hope I can get his permission to share his essay with all of you in the right time.
It will show what kind of Asian family we are.
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mmm168. Nobody is painting with a broad brush. At least I hope nobody is. The Asian families I know have healthy relationships with their children as I'm sure you have, too. | |
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02-04-2008, 11:50 PM
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#311 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 12,312
| Echoing what Curmdgeon indicated. From experience with my Asian friends, I know that the OP's viewpoints and ways of parenting don't represent the views or methods of all Asian parents. | |
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02-05-2008, 12:01 AM
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#312 | | Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 431
| Cur - once again you have the ability to see the true value of this thread. great opportunity for introspection. How many times have any of us pushed too hard - or too little. How many times have we let anger or stuborness dictate our actions - only to feel remorse later. What an opportunity to head off some of these situations by learning from the posters here. Advice is great - but often much more useful when we take in instead of giving it. Maybe there is a reason why we have two ears and one mouth. | |
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02-05-2008, 12:04 AM
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#313 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Northern California
Posts: 2,667
| Aw, cur. Your D is such a kick. | |
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02-05-2008, 12:05 AM
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#314 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 37
| Dad II,
Just to let you know, I did my major scholarship application to about an hour, and it was to a private Top 50 school. I got the full scholarship. I also did not have the perfect scores or any other "hooks." I did not end up attending the school, but now I am at an Ivy.
What's similar about the situation is that my dad can sometimes be a little like you (although nowhere NEAR as bad). I can tell you that the whole college application has really damaged our relationship. It has been four years, and we still aren't don't really talk much. I mean, we don't really fight, but there is a gap. And he is a good preson -- I know that, but that's just how I feel. | |
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02-05-2008, 12:06 AM
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#315 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,061
| No broad-brush painting here, cross my heart.
I also read the book about Whitney High in Cerritos, "School of Dreams," and the thing that struck me most was how unique and individual each of the students and families in this school, which is 90 percent Asian, were portrayed. There were the stereotypical tyrannical parents and nose-to-the-grindstone students, but they were not the majority. There were rebels and slackers and dreamers and artists and by the end, when the college acceptances are out and the year draws to a close, the overall impression is the incredible strength and support and affection in these families.
And btw, the year the author spent in this hotbead of academic achievement, the most sought after school as I recall was a four-digit (UCLA), not a single digit. | |
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