Why is our household so calm during the waiting period?

mountains · 02-06-2008, 05:14 PM

It's the first week of February, and our entire household has been so calm in the past month in terms of college admissions. College discussions are productive and fun, and no one seems to be in a rush for end of March/early April to come to get decisions. Is it because S has acceptances from his safety schools that he would happily attend? Maybe so. Is it because H and I have come to accept that our only child will be leaving home soon, and we are nurturing every moment? Or is this the proverbial calm before the storm?

I would love to hear from parents on how the waiting period is/was for them.

jmmom · 02-06-2008, 05:24 PM

Personally, I think the safety acceptances in hand, from wisely chosen schools, are a key element. That was how it was in our house a few years back as well. Others were soo so stressed.

It also helps that you see this as the natural order of things.... that your son will be moving on to the next phase of his life. Parents who fear the empty nest and fear feeling bereft are more stressed. We were like you in that way as well.

But... it could be the calm before the storm. Sometimes our kids are a little "difficult" over senior summer. Lots of threads on that. And then there's the last week or so, when we parents feel they should be all packed and ready, but they save it for zero-hour minus nothing.

Anyway, enjoy.

JHS · 02-06-2008, 05:25 PM

March: very tense, lots of crabby kids. They didn't mean to, but lots of them pulled back from one another, stopped talking about things. Or forced themselves to, but it took a lot out of them.

There was a brief golden period -- around now. Exciting to be in at one school, great scholarship offer, new school term beginning, nothing more to submit, working on the play . . . . But, like Frodo carrying around the Ring, it just got heavier and heavier, and ate at the soul.

Sorry. That's a little dark. But March felt dark.

mountains · 02-06-2008, 05:32 PM

Deep down, while I know the calm is a combination of a lot of things, I am aware a storm is also brewing in the background. Ick, winter better be over by March; I don't think I can deal with a crabby kid AND crappy weather.

And yes, the acceptances to desired safety schools are huge morale boosters, especially after the ED deferral.

CountingDown · 02-06-2008, 05:36 PM

If it's calm...trust that your S has made wise decisions. Those December letters sure take the worry out of things. We have been enjoying this entire year so far. March is going to be so busy for us that it will fly by -- and DS doesn't have much ego tied to acceptance/rejection letters anyway.

I'm worried about the storm in April. The final decision-making is going to be tough. I'm praying for calm and wisdom.

2blue · 02-06-2008, 05:53 PM

Once my son had his applications done, he was ready to move on. He told me he has so much going on that he didn't have time to worry over whether he would be accepted or not. I was the one fretting. He has heard back from two schools which was a shock. We're both thrilled. I'm very thankful, as I would have gone crazy waiting till April. To be honest, I'll probably still get a little antsy wondering how the rest of his applications turn out. I can see where April could be tough as he tries to make up his mind where to go.

We both agree we're surprised by how busy this senior year has been. We didn't know enough to have SATs wrapped up by the end of his junior year. With those, college applications, scholarship apps, ECs, his schoolwork, etc. it seems like it has been nonstop. Thankfully he is excellent at handling it and knows how to schedule in the fun time he needs. It is a skill that serves him well.

I'm editing to add we're thankful for tips we picked up here like including postcards with teacher recs, etc. It has been comforting to get those back in the mail.

citymom · 02-06-2008, 06:49 PM

It is getting calmer in our house as well. I expect that next weekend will be wonderful. I know it is not because of being accepted to a wisely-chosen safety. A safety where DD is really ready to go will not reply till April. As well as all her other schools. So far she has been accepted to only one school, our state university, which is financially safe, but where DD could picture herself only at Honors College (and this decision will not arrive till March).
I guess we are calm and happy just because Dec and Jan were crazy, we were all afraid of some major disaster or screw up (like failing couple courses at school, or missing all Jan 1 deadlines, or failing the last-chance SAT in Dec). And thanks God all worked out OK. I don't even know whether it worked out well or just OK: her first semester grades are not ready yet, and she took one more subject SAT in Jan. But I already know that it could be much, much worse.
I know her list is very reach-heavy, but it is hard to imajine 12 rejections right now. Her classmates are also optimistic so farr. There are still things to take care off - she expects 3 more interviews, and some apps seem incomplete. This is not as overwhelming as couple weeks ago, just enough to make her feel she is on-track and still working on getting admitted. I guess it will get more difficult in March, when nothing can be done and especially if she is rejected from any of her matches or safeties by then.

Actually from what I see, her friends who didn't apply EA or ED are less stressed now than those who applied and got rejected or even deferred. Even though a deferral at Yale or MIT is not a bad sign at all, it added a lot to stress. You may argue it's not the best strategy, but now I am glad that she has no rejections or deferrals so far.

Kathyc · 02-06-2008, 07:00 PM

A week and a half ago I was very bored and trying to figure out how we would get through this period. Then my daughter got a surprise early acceptance to USC and is up for a scholarship. That really helped! So, 5 weeks down and 7 to go. Since she's our only daughter and my husband is doing long-distance commuting for a while, it will be very quiet at our house next year.

Columbia_Student · 02-06-2008, 07:19 PM

Somewhat calm here. D also got into USC early. She is a happy camper. She did not apply to USC film school which was what she originally wanted, she vacilated back/forth. eventually she applied for creative writing major. I imagine it's not hard to switch over if she wants to because she has a deep commitment to film ECs and creatrive writing. I think she's lucked out, she just spent a few minutes with the USC application and got in early. It was a surprise. If she gets half-tuition due to NMF, it will be sweeter deal yet. USC film school is very hard to get into. This seems like a back door to USC film school. A pleasant but definitely unintended consequence. Ah sometimes, things just work out. Serendipity!

hoonose · 02-06-2008, 07:20 PM

I'm sick of the wait already. However, perhaps it's the fact that my top choice university (since I was only three years old I've wanted to go here) only accepts 6 to 10 people from Canada yearly, and two years ago one of those people was a three time IMO participant.

BunsenBurner · 02-06-2008, 07:22 PM

Yup, everything is calm here too, but I have a feeling that a perfect storm is coming soon, and it will get tense...

OneDown&OneToGo · 02-06-2008, 07:22 PM

Dear Mountains,

"Why is our household so calm during the waiting period?"

That is exactly how I felt last year when my oldest child had finished all his applications and was just waiting for the acceptances/rejections. It was a wonderfully tranquil time that all changed in late March and especially "Black Thursday". So enjoy it now! But rest assured that one way or another things will work out for the best.

Good luck...........now I need to start a new college search for my daughter.

rodney · 02-06-2008, 08:24 PM

Columbia-good decision; we have a close relative who did just that; Applied for creative writing...He put his transfer app in as soon as he arrived and was accepted for critical studies immediately......

ohio_mom · 02-06-2008, 09:28 PM

We were pretty calm until the last week in March ... which was very tense. Likr the OP, my son had a nice safety acceptance in hand in January, and then a school he really liked in February. He also isn't the nervous type - which is good, because I am.

Best wishes to all during the long wait!

mythmom · 02-06-2008, 10:19 PM

Mountains: Nice to talk to you again. Well, I can't say we had any calm, even though S was accepted into two wonderful safeties. We just wanted to know where each kid would be.

So you guys are great, and enjoy every moment.

Any calm is a gift; just enjoy.

And good luck come Spring. I still remember the exact moments when each child received the acceptance to the school each attends.