Senior Week

[cj_svu6]

We don't have Senior Week here, but seniors do go down the shore after prom. My parents told me there would be no way I would be allowed to go where everyone else was going (didn't want to go too badly anyway- I don't drink), but I still wanted to do something fun. We decided it would be more fun to hang out with just a small group of friends anyway, so a group of us will either be going into NYC for the weekend or staying at one of the parent's beach houses at a different beach for the weekend (my mom was ok with that). If we go to the beach house, we will still be within a quick drive of where everyone else is going so we can spend time with them, but leave when the situation calls for it. Perhaps a smaller group or a slightly different/more controlled location would be a good compromise in your situation?

[frazzled1]

Can someone fill me in on how Senior Week works - particularly, who provides the housing? I must be missing something, because I can't imagine who would rent a beach home or other vacation spot to a group of 18 year olds. And I mean no offense to 18 year olds. Most of them would not be permitted to rent a car or reserve a hotel room, barring exceptional circumstances. So how can they obtain a place for drunken partying, or even for silent meditation?

I've had no problem with my college-aged kids doing Beach Week after the spring semester, though I'm not gonna pay for it. They've used their own funds, happily, and have had memorable times.

I see a major difference between an 18 y/o who's just completed high school and a 19 y/o who's just proved he/she can handle a year of independent living.

[PackMom]

In our experience, a parent has rented the beach house,gone down and checked them in and then left.

[TheAnalyst]

In our experience, a couple of dads or moms stayed in the house for the whole week. People who rented the nicer houses did spot checks during the week and if there was no adult, all the kids got kicked out with no refund. There were cheaper houses as well where the parents checked in and left, but the kids in our neighborhood preferred to have the adults around as it kept a lid on kids getting too rowdy.

When our son went, the kids arranged to rent 5 houses or so within walking distance of each other. These were huge houses in the outer bankers that hold 15-18 kids each. There was a lot of social angst about who got to be in which house and they ultimately drew names from a hat. Most kids were paying for everything themselves so there was a lot of discussion around how to equitably split food costs. It really was an interesting dynamic in group planning.

Some parents went down and rented a hotel room for just two or three girls or guys and stayed with them if they weren't comfortable with them being in one of the big houses. I'm sure there were kids who didn't want to go and did something else that week. I don't recall hearing of anyone who wanted to go whose parents said no, but if a parent wasn’t comfortable I’m sure some made that choice.

The parents who agreed to chaperone allowed drinking and were primarily enforcing a no driving rule and a curfew--i.e. wherever you were at 2:00 a.m. that's where you spent the night. There were several meetings between the chaperones, kids, and parents pre-trip discussing rules of behavior. However, this was before the recent crackdown on underage drinking. I don't know who you would find to chaperone in this environment, so the whole system may have changed. Some parents allow their juniors to go, which we did not. I was asked just yesterday from the parent of a high school junior what we were doing about beach week. I just commented that our son wasn't going as a junior so would worry about it next year.

As for the comment on kids renting hotel rooms, I guess it depends on the hotel. Our older son went to Florida for spring break last year and rented a hotel room at age 18. He is in Florida this spring break as well, but camping.

[Lafalum84]

I recently reserved a room in Myrtle Beach for a family vacation, and noted that several of the hotels I researched specifically stated that at least one person renting the room must be at least 24 years old. Myrtle Beach is a big "beach week" destination for hs & college kids.

"In our experience, a parent has rented the beach house,gone down and checked them in and then left." If I were a landlord that renter would be looking at a lawsuit for fraud, if anything negative happened while an unchaperoned group of teens spent a week in my house when I was lead to believe that an adult was renting it.

[cj_svu6]

Kids from our school rent out huge blocks of rooms in really cheap motels down the shore where you can rent them out at 18. In the winter, the seniors take a big ski trip and they contract a chaperoning company to bring them up. The chaperones typically don't care what the students do and are okay with students drinking.

[Knitkneelionmom]

Quote "Around here Beach Week is putting way more stress on young people and their decision making ability than most of the college experience will. I know that big parties and getting drunk occur on campus and off. But beach week concentrates it to an unbelievable degree with all the peer pressure added in. "

I think this really sums up my thoughts on the senior week issue. It sounds like most of the parents are in agreement that a week unchaparoned is not a good idea. Thanks for all of the input!