YOUR View on Music..

[franglish]

My D and my students have said that music creates a sort of background noise that drowns out the outside world and the distractions that come from there. That makes sense to me.

[hawkette]

This has a familiar ring to me. I think I understand where your mom is coming from and my reading is that it is possible that she is just...scared. She probably knows how competitive this whole high school and college process has become and she wants the very best for you. She is perhaps fearful that the music is a distracting influence and will impair your ability to perform at your best. If any of what I am suggesting is remotely correct, then I suggest you give her a big hug, tell her you love her, tell her you're working hard and doing your best and that the music actually helps you do better. I'm pretty sure that you're both going for the same goal of creating a good outcome for you in life and in college. Cut her a little slack and hopefully she'll do the same for you.

If I'm wrong, please forgive my judgments and ignore me.

[lje62]

My kids all study with music on and they do very well in school. Nothing too loud, mostly listening to their ipods.
I have an ipod too ..mostly listen to it while on a dock speaker.
When I am working , I listen to a radio station on line that it in Mass. I do have to have it low because I am mostly talking to customers on the phone
My husband gets very distracted with music on. he cannot talk on the phone with any music.

[mathmom]

I can't work to music with words, but I know plenty of people who are just fine with a constant soundtrack to their lives. (DH is one of them - Harvard undergrad, Caltech Ph.D.) I can't imagine trying to exercise without music going. I'm a bit surprised that your mother is so worried, since it sounds like you barely listen to music at all.

[MidwestMom2Kids_]

I also can't work to music with words. Even an instrumental version of a song I know the words to is too distracting. I "hear" the lyrics and they break my concentration. I turn the radio off when I'm driving downtown and there are a lot of one way streets and construction going on - I need the inside of the car to be quiet so I can concentrate on my route. But my husband and my kids can all do complicated tasks listening to any type of music; it doesn't bother them at all. My husband is from a lively household (7 kids) and I think that when he was in high school, he needed background music to study to drown out the rest of the hubbub of the house.

I have accepted that my kids can study while listening to music, but I have to admit: I can't stand to see kids doing real homework in a room with a TV on.

[scansmom]

“Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, a charm to sadness, gaiety and life to everything. It is the essence of order and lends to all that is good and just and beautiful.” – Plato

It’s unfortunate that your mother seems to believe that music, in and of itself, is harmful. Many studies during the past several years have shown that music can have many positive effects on learning and performance throughout childhood and even in the workplace (just look at the “Baby Einstein" phenomenon, for example). And from what I understand it is not the specific type of music that matters, but the tempo of the music, how many beats per minute. And different beats can have positive effects in different types of settings (ie, it doesn’t always have to be slow or calming or classical).

Of course, as a parent I might be concerned about the language and messages conveyed in certain songs – eg, lyrics that reflect hate, disrespect, apathy, etc. Values that I would not choose for my child to learn. I would also be concerned if the music was accompanied by activities or behavior that I did not disapprove of, but those are completely different issues than the actual music. I would also be concerned that it could be too distracting in certain settings, such as driving, where safety issues are involved (and, personally, I’d be more concerned about the amount of time my child played computer games than listened to music, since, imo, many computer games are probably harmful to the brain).

It sounds like your mother is blaming music per se for poor choices SHE might have made in the past and making you pay for “the sins of the father” (or, in this case, the mother), rather than looking at your behavior or academic performance. But I am not sure how best to deal with this other than, as others have said, to try to negotiate with her to allow you to continue to listen to your music as long as it does not interfere with your studies or performance in a negative way.

[HisGraceFillsMe]

My junior year, our English teacher would let us listen to our iPods while we were writing essays, and we were all good (if not good, at least decent) writers.

I think that's absolutely ridiculous...I'm a hopeless audiophile and I have great grades and I've gotten into all three colleges I applied to.

[cchscali]

Yes, it seems that she is worrying about my future as a result of her own, past decisions. I'll try to raise my grades and see what happens.

I agree with each of you.

[arachnophobia12]

"they" say children who play instruments tend to perform better academically than do their non-playing counterparts... i don't really see the correlation between music and bad grades, though (maybe she meant that it's a distraction, which can be said about any of a number of things in one's life)...

[krmelk89]

I think some of it is generational. I definitely like listening to music while I study, it helps me concentrate. I think for my generation, having come of age in the time of computers, IM, cell phones, ipods, etc...we have learned to multi-task better than our parent's generation. It doesn't mean one way is better than the other, it just means we learn differently, and like to study differently.

Its probably a huge distraction for your mom, so she assumes it would be for you...however people learn differently, and in my experience, music can be somewhat of a study aid.

[Chipmoney]

I cant stand to be doing pretty much anything without music, I listen to my ipod constantly and always have music going when I'm doing anything and I do fine in school.

I'll listen to anything when I'm studying too, from chant music to Led Zeppelin, then some heavy metal. None of it distracts me.

[TrinSF]

Wow, what a silly thing to be fighting over!

As a parent, I think it depends on the person, and that there is no blanket "this is bad for you" to be had here. In our household, some people use music while concentrating, and some don't. I would probably drive your mother crazy; I have always been able to multitask. I regular watch TV, read, and do other work at the same time, and have always been able to do that. I am much more productive when I am listening to music, especially -- and that includes more productive walking, doing housework, writing, all sorts of things.

There are so many things for us as parents to take seriously and worry about; music or not while studying seems like a terrible waste of energy!

[feuerwerke]

OP,

um, as a 4.0 college student w/over 90 units and who has both listened AND not listened to music while studying, etc.. i think that your mom is not being rational about the music thing. i don't know what other "grades, behavior" she's talking about, but the next time she mentions something about why everyone (and suppsedly YOU) feels they have to have music all the time, just say "oh, ok i never thought about it that way" and smile and just keep doing your own thing.

and the part about music being one of the reasons why she didn't go to college after h.s. may be true, but i'd say it had to have been music CONCERTS or music PLAYING that kept her away...... cuz it OBVIOUSLY couldn't have been an IPOD that was distracting her back then!!!!!!

[Devilsrule]

I don't understand your mother's argument at all. If anything, I think music can only enhance one's abilities and potential. I am a big-time rock music buff and I maintain a 3.9 GPA. I'm not sure how music should lower my performance.

I do not listen to music during class, while I study or while I work. I am compulsive about silence while I'm working because I get distracted very easily. If your mother means that you shouldn't have music on while you work, I would agree with her, but I don't think that is the issue. I'm absolutely baffled that someone could possibly argue that listening to music in general would make someone a worse student. I have always had a knack for music and I play many instruments. If I am having a hard time working or get very frustrated, it is music that can ease my stress and get me ready to work again. Music has helped me develop great timing, dexterity, and rhythm. The part of the brain that is worked while playing an instrument is the same that is worked during mental processes of mathematics. Many have theorized a link between the ability to play an instrument and stronger performance in math.

Again, I just do not see the link between music and poor performance. Usually, if I have a poor test, it is because I didn't prepare well or because I didn't get enough sleep. Not because I listened to a cool song on my ipod the day before. My advice? Just humor her but essentially ignore this rediculous advice. Listen to music all you want as long as it doesn't serve as a distraction to your work. Many times, it is music that can be the perfect compliment to a hard day of work.

[Hunt]

I thought that you were going to say that your mother didn't like all the satanic death metal you were listening to. You should tell her that she doesn't know how good she has it if you're only occasionally listening to some techno.