Is it normal for a freshman to go to orientation without a parent?

[Student615]

Im just kind of weird in that I always want my dad's opinion on everything whether or not i take his advice...like i always bug him about choosing my schedule even though i usually have a decent and practical idea about what to do...

I'm similar. Even when I'm pretty sure of what I'm going to do, I really like to bounce my ideas off of someone before acting on them, and my mom is often helpful with that (particularly when it comes to stuff that I just haven't yet had much experience with). Perhaps you could compromise and ask your dad if he can be "on call" for you during the day, keeping his cell phone nearby and checking it regularly. That way, if you're really worried about something or unsure of how to handle a particular situation, you can drop a line for advice. Obviously, whether or not this is workable will depend on your dad's typical workday, but I know that it would calm my worries just to be *explicitly* told that I could call for advice if I needed it, and to feel like the call would likely be answered.

[astrophysicsmom]

I wouldn't go nearly as far as "no role there", but I'm another mom who says that it really won't matter....at D's orientation, there were a couple of q and a sessions for the parents, but they didn't really say any factual information that wasn't already on their website. Most of the rest of the time, it was "filler" time to keep parents occupied. Whether or not your dad is having a difficult time is hard to say, but since it's time away from a family business, I suspect that he'd probably not feel like it was time well spent, sitting in presentations and getting more campus tours.

One thought.....even though the orientation is organized so that you do all your class selection there, it would be extremely helpful for you to go online through the general course requirements at your school (what required classes will you have to take), if you know your intended major, think about what beginning classes you want to take, etc. You probably can look at the actual fall schedule online, too. (At D's school, you can see if there are still openings in the classes, etc.). You can do a lot of the work ahead of time, and still include your Dad in the selection process. I know it made me still feel "needed"...

[natmicstef]

It sounds to me as if your dad is upset that you are so excited about going somewhere so far away from them even though he wants the best for you and enabled you to visit the college.
The presence of a parent at orientation does help your confidence but is not necessary to the orientation process...yes they separate the parents from the kids..in fact I felt more alone with the other parents than my D did with the other students.
The fact that you are only 16 and traveling 9 hours away on your own would give me pause but I am by nature rather protective of my kids. If you leave it for a little while and then mention to your Dad how much happier you'd be with his presence, he might very likely change his mind.

[kittymom]

I may have been a bit over protective, but there's no way I would have put my DD on a plane at age 16 and been comfortable with her traveling alone to a strange city. I would expect your father could take you and drop you off, as there isn't much for him to do. Ask again, and explain your feelings, I would hope he could have a change of heart. You could then feel more at ease taking a taxi from the college to the airport for the trip home.

[ellemenope]

Orientation in June--go by yourself

Move in in August/September--that's when you'll need your parents to come (so that you can put more of your stuff in their suitcases and so that they can open their wallets and pay for stuff)

[Parent's viewpoint of her usefulness in the whole process]

[originaloog]

Ours did it alone. We dropped him off and took a 2 day vacation in Lake Placid.

[momofthreeboys]

We did not go to our son's orientation either. Dropped him off and went on a vacation like originaloog. I had read everything they sent us, plus the college web site has anything else we needed to know so we did not hang around. He was practically pushing us out of the dorm room anyway.

[owlice]

It's nine hours away by car, not by plane.

[JeepMOM]

HELPMEGETIN - it is fairly common for incoming students to go to orientation without a parent. Sounds like your parents have enough faith in you to let you go by yourself. Orientation is more for the student and less for the parents - and most likely you wouldn't spend too much time with a parent because of the busy schedules that most colleges have during orientation. It is/can be a pretty expensive process to go visit a school - go back for orientation - then on move-in weekend again. Going by yourself certainly can help in the $$ picture.

If you are staying on campus for orientation (which you should be) - you will most likely meet alot of other kids - and even may get 'adopted' by one while you are there as well That happened to us at orientation - we did 'adopt' a gal who was by herself - and a friendship began

Make sure that you have all of your ducks in a row in this process - flight info - important phone numbers available - how you will get to the campus from airport, etc... - and make sure you give your parents a copy of everything as well - before you go. Just make sure to keep them in the loop of how it all is going to work out.

[CBK]

as an adult who did do orientation by myself, I think it depends on the child, knowing how out of place I felt being the only kid sans parents, it was difficult for me, not whining about it now, but parents had no clue as to the whole process, had an older sibling that was a kid that wanted nothing to do with parents being there, (major conflicts between them) I was the polar opposite and "needed" my parents with me, and it was an awkward experience. Now living on the other side, if my child made ANY inkling whether it be ever so slight of wanting me with them, or not with them, I would honestly go the distance for them if needed. I would go, make myself scarce if that was what they wanted, or be there if that was the choice.

HOwever, the orientation I attended, had many parent/kid activities so that made it that more awkward.

[JeepMOM]

OO a 9 hour drive can certainly end up being a 9 hour flight LOL - tho hopefully not

HELPME - make sure to have your cell phone good and charged up - and travel with a charger also - so you can keep in touch.

[momofthreeboys]

Helpmegetin, if you "want" your parents to go you need to talk to them. They may be assuming since you "picked" a school so far from home you were telling them you wanted to create distance. My son is 2 plane changes or 18 driving hours away from us and we were very clear with him what this meant in terms of visits, trips, help we could give him. Neither my husband or I travel enough for business to rack up "freqent flier miles". To "get" there for many working parents entails taking time off from work and cost. For our family those are the trade-offs. If any of our children stay in-state in the future, we can certainly drive easily creating a situation where it is more feasible to fit into the work vacation/personal time schedule as well as the budget and we are clear with the kids about this. Believe me, kids that make the choice to go so far from home are making a statement to the parents, whether they think they are or not. Your dad may or may not be disappointed by your decision not to stay closer to home like your sister, but he may be misterpreting your signal about putting some distance between you and the homefront.

[jessiehl]

I went to my Orientation myself. At my alma mater, even if your parents are there, they will rightfully stick them in parents' activities so that the students can experience Orientation properly.

[wis75]

UW-Madison SOAR has a great parents' program, definitely worth it for parents- as is the dorm room and food experience. I still remember the poor man from Boston who brought his student son, parents and the rest of the family for a Wisconsin vacation but had his van break down in Chicago. I know one can read the booklet at home, but having a chance to ask questions and see the campus without feeling out of place was worth it, even to an alumnus. Other campuses are obviously different in their approach.

Remember that you are separating from your parents at this stage and every school will be treating you as the decision maker, parents are kept out of the way (this was nicely made clear to us in our sessions). Your father would be more useful when you need to say your goodbyes at the start of the school year.

[Devilsrule]

I took the train up to Boston and went to the BU orientation without my dad. Most parents had told him that the programs all gave information that could be easily accessed online. So he decided to stay home. It isn't like any of the attending students had more than 5 min to see their parents over the 2 days anyway. Would have been completely unnecessary for my dad to be there if he didn't want to attend the parents activities. College is all about independence and learning to get by on your own. Orientation is the first step in this process and while it is ok for parents to attend, it really isn't necessary.