daughter's noisy dorm problems - advice

swimcatsmom · 03-11-2008, 08:42 PM

Talking to my daughter she is really frustrated with her dorm situation. They have a new RA and the dorm has become very noisy and rowdy till 3 a.m. most mornings. She and several others are getting very irate. The RA is part of the problem and ignores their requests to quiet things down. Part of me thinks well there is just 6 weeks to go. The other part thinks the dorm costs a lot of $$s and she is entitled to be able to sleep. And she has a temper and will probably blow up soon.

Thinking how to advise her.

My current suggestion is for all the ones bothered by the noise to get together and approach the RA about the problem.

If no solution go over his head.

URichmond2010 · 03-11-2008, 08:48 PM

Tell her to go to a head RA or to the housing office.

paying3tuitions · 03-11-2008, 08:50 PM

Is it something that can be addressed by using foam earplugs, in combination with Bose (good quality but they cost $l00 or so) padded headphones for when she tries to go to sleep?

swimcatsmom · 03-11-2008, 08:51 PM

Yea - that's what I am thinking. Approach the RA first - he is getting paid (free housing) to take care of business.

My suggestion is approach him first at a time when the noise is not going on (so more calmly and not furious). Then if no results go to the housing department.

swimcatsmom · 03-11-2008, 08:54 PM

I though about the noise canceling headphones. WHen we were in Germany on a girl scout trip it was very noisy till 4 in the morning and I am really cantankerous when my sleep is disturbed. One of the moms gave me some bose headphones to use and I was amazed how well they worked. Bit uncomfortable though.

The bose ones are $3-400 though

astrophysicsmom · 03-11-2008, 08:57 PM

I'd combine the above suggestions.....
1. students most upset about it should talk to RA en masse
2. go to head RA or housing office if it doesn't get better...(at least during the week)
3. in the meantime, foam earplugs, noise-canceling headphones and a pillow over her head may help. It doesn't help if the bed is shaking from people running down the halls or from the bass in someone's stereo, though....

3:00 a.m. is past a reasonable hour, again, especially during the week. I think D and her 2 roommates have a midnight "curfew" for lights out in their room....D usually stays up later, but goes to the lounge (which has separate doors shutting it off from the hallways) with her laptop (or cards and poker chips!!!)

swimcatsmom · 03-11-2008, 09:00 PM

Agree it is well past reasonable during the week. She is a night owl herself and stays up latish and I know at the weekends she is up very late. So it has to be pretty bad for her to be so upset.

ebeeeee · 03-11-2008, 09:10 PM

If RA does nothing, they need to go to the RD.

lje62 · 03-11-2008, 09:18 PM

earplugs are good, but so is eliminating the source. The next 6 weeks can be crucial for a lot of the dorm residents, so I don't think it should be ignored to keep the peace.
If the RA doesn't keep the dorm reasonably quiet, going above him/her needs to be done. If not for this year's residences, to quell any future issues in the dorms.

swimcatsmom · 03-11-2008, 09:27 PM

Yea. She is planning on moving out at the end of the year. But she has 6 weeks to go so it is stressful. She does not want to end up on bad terms with people. But if she blows her stack that will happen anyway.

It is a pain this is happening at this stage.

sonssecty · 03-11-2008, 11:14 PM

My advice is that your daughter and the others should inform the RA that they will be going above his/her head if the problem is not resolved ASAP, and follow through if necessary. And likewise, with the next person. Keep going until you find the person with the authority to do something about it.

Noise, especially at the hours mentioned, is unacceptable and students have every right to be afforded the peace and quiet that they need and deserve.

Tell her to stand up for her rights. She and the others should not have to put up with this for one more day!

Anona · 03-12-2008, 04:52 AM

To the OP, I really feel for your daughter. One thing I have noticed in reading this forum is that sometimes I think there is a very low standard for becoming a RA. I've known of RAs who couldn't even handle their own problems (insisting that their parents make repeated trips to fix something that the RA should have been able to handle on her own; what kind of example is this to the residents?). I've also known of RAs with mental problems who shouldn't be in a position of responsibility for other residents. And then of course there is the problem of RAs who either look the other way (or contribute to) underaged drinking, drugs, etc.

The RA should be given one chance, and then if nothing is done, reported. And that RA should not be permitted to be an RA the following year.

Marian · 03-12-2008, 06:49 AM

You say this is a new RA.

I think that new RAs often feel pulled in two directions -- they know that it's their responsibility to enforce the rules, but at the same time they want to be friends with the kids who live in their section, both because RAs tend to be genuinely social people and because knowing the students can help them to spot problems at early stages.

I would suggest that your daughter and several others approach the RA together and say that they are bothered by the noise problem. If there is a rule about quiet after a certain hour (in some dorms there is, usually 11 PM or midnight on weekdays), they can say that they would really like to see it enforced.

If this does not work, then they should go over the RA's head and complain to the residence hall director (the person in charge of the whole dorm). They don't have to be mean. It can be phrased in terms of, "I know she's new, and maybe she doesn't really understand how important this is to some of us, especially those who have very early classes."

mdcissp · 03-12-2008, 06:58 AM

Tell your D to go to the housing office ASAP and request a change of housing. Tell the housing office that it is too loud too late and hard to get sleep. Ask the head of the housing office to speak to the RA. You might also want to see if it is possible to find a family to board with if there are no openings at other dorms. Sometimes local families who live nearby will want a college student to live in their home. Sorry to hear about this problem.

Marian · 03-12-2008, 07:03 AM

mdcissp, that seems like a last resort.

The OP's daughter may not want to change roommates or leave friends she has made in her current living situation. She just wants the noise rules enforced.

I hope it doesn't get to the point where she has to request a change in housing. This late in the academic year, it might be hard to get one.