| Germoon, I came across this thread and just wanted to wish you the best of luck. This happens to be a subject I know something about (for reasons I won't go into here and now). I've met several trans people who are college-aged or a little older, and I think you're very brave.
I think almost any major university or liberal arts college (at least in the Northeast and Midwest, areas I'm reasonably familiar with) that isn't strongly affiliated with certain religious denominations, will have one or more active LGBT groups on campus, and is likely to have an administration that will be accepting of you, and willing to work with you in terms of finding appropriate housing, even if they don't have gender neutral dorm options.
Please be aware, though, that from everything I've heard on the subject, you are likely on any given campus to be one of only a tiny handful of "out" trans students, and may well be unique. The only exceptions are a few schools like Smith and other "Seven Sisters"-type colleges (although I think there are only 5 sisters left at this point!) that have a visible presence of trans and/or gender variant students. However, on the assumption that your birth gender and present legal identity are male, you wouldn't be eligible to go to a women's college. And anyplace you do go, the overwhelming majority of "out" trans college students seem to be FTM's (i.e., people born female who present or identify as males) rather than MTF's. For example, it's my understanding that as of two years ago or so, the undergraduate student body at Yale -- which is sometimes known as the "gayest" Ivy, with the semi-facetious saying "one in four, maybe more -- had exactly two "out" self-identifying transgendered students, both of them FTM.
I believe there are a number of possible cultural/sociological explanations for this (including the fact that even in 2008, people born and raised female have far greater "freedom" to explore gender variance than people born male), but whatever the reason, you should be aware that you're likely to be pretty much sui generis wherever you end up. So I do hope that you can find support not only from a therapist, but from other people who are going through what you're going through, which can't ever be an easy process. Which may make going to school in a city that has an active trans community something to consider, so you're able to find resources (and peers) in that city that you may not be able to find on campus.
Again, best of luck to you.
Donna | 
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