Summer After Freshman Year--Back In the Nest? Yes or No - Page 2

paying3tuitions · 04-03-2008, 03:01 PM

When my son's here, I miss my car. When my car's here, I miss my son.

elidad · 04-03-2008, 03:20 PM

Mom of 3 - My husband will think I am posting under some odd screen name since we only have 2 kids. Your discussion of "quasi" adult was almost identical to my rant to him after our DD returned to school after spring break (I actually used the word "pseudo", but the text was the same

.

Yes, if another adult stayed at our house (for free) they would conform to our time schedule and be part of the rhythm of the household. One day I told her I would take her to the mall and do a little shopping - but we had to get there early. She was ready by 1 in the afternoon, and she seemed to think that was early.

We are sending her for a summer study abroad program to an eastern european country for five weeks. She will be working before and after she leaves, so I hope that makes the time manageable.

What I want to know is where I can sign up DD for the all-summer habitat/home repair program for next year - oooh, that sounds great, swimcatsmom. Honestly, I want her to have one really tough job before she graduates from college.

By the way - to veteran parents: do they start to act more like REAL adults each year?

somemom · 04-03-2008, 03:31 PM

eli- my D who is in grad school is acting quite adult and mature these days. When that D was an undergrad, her younger sisters complained that oldest D would come home for breaks for a day or so and then spend the rest of her time gone with friends. This spring break, another UG DD was here for about 2 days of the 10 day spring break, off with friends the rest of the time- she does not recall complaining when her sister did the same!

Chedva · 04-03-2008, 03:57 PM

07DAD, yes, there may be some creative ways to get over the expenses. However, for that kind of thing, it's in her lap to come up with those creative ways. If she can tell me that it won't cost me an arm and a leg, I'll be happy to entertain any options she has! But to pay for her to live away from home to work in the mall? I don't think so.

LurkNessMonster · 04-03-2008, 04:10 PM

I may be naive, but my husband and I are both looking forward to having D home with us for four months. We missed her so much this year (she was a freshman 400 miles away). So far she has an unpaid internship lined up for two days a week, and she's looking for a paying job to fill in so that she can make a little money. As long as she's busy, I don't think we'll have a problem getting along. We should all revist this thread in September!

I do believe in "my house, my rules." I don't care how old she is!

abasket · 04-03-2008, 04:33 PM

Lurkness, I'm with you. I'm thrilled to have her home for an extended period - I know these opportunities will be few and far between in the next few years, so no objections from me!

I do however, what her to be satisfied with the summer, so it's in her hands to "fill" her summer up with enough to keep her busy so she's OK with being home!

Heron · 04-03-2008, 05:53 PM

Well, mine will be a freshman this fall, and I am already hoping she will be home next summer! But then I was one of those parents for whom school vacations were always too short. Lots of other mothers couldn't wait for summer to be over. It was always over too soon for me.

midmo · 04-03-2008, 05:56 PM

Well, I'm with you Heron. That is how I always felt. But sometimes their plans and opportunities get in the way of what we prefer. Sadly.

garland · 04-03-2008, 06:03 PM

I never had a problem with them home, and when they were (or are) it didn't/doesn't seem miserable for them, either. They have always been productive and friendly, and I would be pretty bummed if at 18/19 years old, all of a sudden home seemed like a terrible place to be. My D did have partial or whole summers away a couple times, and that was fine. but my S always had a job in the area, and that was fine too. And that makes me happy.

I was hesitant to post, as knowing our story, someone was likely to say--see, goes to show you-- but since other braver folks posted their non-issue, I decided to buck up and concur.

ec1234 · 04-03-2008, 06:31 PM

my freshman summer I spent almost all of it away from home- I was there for like 2-3 weeks out of the summer. My sophomore summer my parents actually moved into NYC since I had a job there for the summer and my dad commutes for most of the year. It worked out great, I really enjoyed spending time with my family, but in a place with a bit more to do than my suburban jersey hometown.

Marian · 04-03-2008, 06:40 PM

My son spent the summers after his freshman and sophomore years at home, working at a local internship, and I missed him greatly when he stayed on campus the summer after his junior year to work on research. There was some difficulty during his summers at home with him wanting to stay out late at night and his father wanting him to be home early so that the house would be quiet (dad has to get up early in the morning). But other than that, it seemed OK, at least from my point of view.

My daughter, now a freshman, will be home this summer. She is waiting to hear about some internships, but if she doesn't get one, she will be taking summer courses at a local college. So either way, she will have something to do, which is important since she doesn't do well with large chunks of unstructured time (for her, Winter Break is hell). I'm looking forward to having her here. I don't think late nights will be a problem. If she gets one of the internships, she will be getting up very early in the morning to commute there, and if she goes to summer school, she will be taking eight o'clock classes. She may end up going to bed as early as her dad does.

Chedva · 04-03-2008, 06:41 PM

Please don't get me wrong. I'm so looking forward to having d home! From rising 7th grade to rising 11th grade summers, she was away for most of the summers at camp or other programs.

She hasn't said anything about having a problem being home; she didn't broach any other suggestions. I'm hoping we can all get along with just some basic courtesies. But we'll see!

mom60 · 04-03-2008, 06:44 PM

Mine will be home for the summer. Working if we have any say in the matter. Maybe taking a summer class at the CC. I would prefer he go and do something away from home but his Dad is insisting on him having a paying job this summer. The girlfriend at home is the main draw for my dear son.

swimcatsmom · 04-03-2008, 06:51 PM

I would love my daughter to be home for more of the summer - I really miss her (though actually we see her quite often as her school is not far away and she comes to eat every couple of weeks and steal leftovers and other food). But I have to be happy for her that she is getting to spend the summer doing something she has wanted to do since she started going on summer missions with our church at 14.

Marian · 04-03-2008, 06:51 PM

Quote:

The girlfriend at home is the main draw for my dear son.

It could be worse. I think the shopping malls at home are the main draw for my daughter, who is going to have an excuse to do a lot of shopping. Inexplicably, despite her campus being known for excellent food, she lost 18 pounds during her freshman year, and most of her clothes don't fit properly anymore.